So this girl I meet has said that she doesn't want to be with me, but she wants to be friends. I don't want to just be friends because I know the moment I find another girl she will come back to me. One of those that only likes what they can't have. I have been spending money and taking her out, on dates yes. She doesn't seem to think that is wrong of her. All my female friends say that they would tell a guy to not spend money on them if there was not the possibility of anything. So why is it that she keeps allowing me to spend on her, then when I stop she gets upset? Also I won't call her yet every morning she calls me for breakfast and almost every night for dinner. What would that make us? It is hard to say, I know she does care about me and has had things in her past happen that prevent her from moving on, what would be all of yours advice? Thank you.

Oh and I know I am being stupid for spending. So yes I know that.

Radium... run away from this situation, as fast as you can. The two of you are in different places, you want a relationship and she just wants to have her cake and eat it too. STOP spending money on her ASAP. Move on, if she gets upset... too bad she gave YOU up. Show her the prize she lost with your new healthy relationship. Don't look back... you are leading a very fast path of destruction if you continue what you are doing now.

Finally... ask yourself... do you really want all of this pain and grief? Relationships are not supposed to be like this... move on.

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Originally Posted by Radium

So this girl i meet has said that she doesnt want to be with me, but she wants to be friends. I dont want to just be friends because i know the moment i find another girl she will come back to me. One of those that only likes what they can't have. I have been spending money and taking her out, on dates yes. She doesnt seem to think that is wrong of her. All my female friends say that they would tell a guy to not spend money on them if there was not the possibility of anything. So why is it that she keeps allowing me to spend on her, then when i stop she gets upset? Also I wont call her yet every morning she calls me for breakfast and almost every night for dinner. What would that make us? It is hard to say, i know she does care about me and has had things in her past happen that prevent her from moving on, what would be all of yours advice? Thank you.

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I agree with Confused. You are playing the role as 'doormat' and you need to stop. She says she just wants to be your friend? That's perfectly fine, but make her pay for some of these friendly outings. There is no reason for her to make you pay for everything, friends don't do that. It seems to me she is just keeping you on the back burner, for when she needs/wants you. Stand up for yourself and tell her if she wants to go out as friends and if that is all we are, then she can pay for half the check. If she doesn't like it, kick her to the curb. Then find a girl that is completely there for you.

She has already told you what she wants, you're just not hearing it. She wants a frindship, not a relationship. So stop spending time and money on her. You are being a doormat. So stop. Leave her alone.