Hi,

I soon start a new job in the security sector in Europe. In this job, I have been warned that I will certainly meet customers (and maybe colleagues) who disrespect me and treat me like ****. Off course, I have to remain calm and polite, not take those attacks personally.

I think I will be able to handle this since I think that people who handle like this are actually very sad, unhappy and frustrated people, but I wanted to know if you’ve had some ideas on how to handle those situations (how to react) and “how to mentally prepare for these situations”.

Thanks.

Hi some people are just out to cause trouble,all you need to do is stay calm as you will be the better person for that.
No one deserves to be treated with dis-respect but unfortunately this happens in everyday life. I know it may be stressing not being able to give it back as you are in your work place but don't rise to it as that is what they want.x

It is tough dealing with people that are disrespectful, but try to repay the negative comments with something positive, for example if someone say something bad about you try saying something nice about them with a smile on your face it might have them thinking twice before making negative comments to you next time

The first thing I've learned to do during my years working in public libraries is to mentally step back and don't talk. Let the person vent. Don't apologize, don't interrupt, don't cry. Do your best to listen and hear what the person is saying because, once the person finally takes a breath or has wound down, it is your opportunity to lean forward and earnestly say something like, "I hear what you are saying. You would like xxxxxx to happen. Is that correct?"

The person will probably be amazed that someone is willing to allow him not only to vent but also to listen and ask his opinion. Follow through in a similar way, as many times as you have to, by reiterating what the person has said and then asking an appropriate question. What you hope to accomplish is that the two of you "bond" in order to correct/adjust whatever the complaint is about. Make the other person feel like the two of you are on the same team and each will do something to hopefully bring about a change or correction or whatever.

The person will walk away smiling and thinking you are the most cooperative and agreeable person in the world. You will be smiling too.

(It works for getting overdue library books back and big fines paid... )

There is a book that I really like. It is called, "Winning Without Intimidation" by Bob Burg. Here is a link: Winning Without Intimidation: The Art of Positive Persuasion

It is a short and great read! I highly recommend it! Great for dealing with disagreeable people and anyone in general!

Ideas presented in it help you to work with people so that both sides come out winning because you use ways to make the other person feel important, powerful, in charge, and that they are the ones who are really solving the problem, when in fact, you are the one who has solved the problem by making them think that they are very important and essential to the overall solution because of the decisions that they have made.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl agrees:

We need you in libraries!!! You said it well.

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Hey, thanks! I love library science!

Thanks,

I will be dealing with difficult people who are hard to satisfy, and also with frustrated people who will just insult me whitout a reason and to even some people with foreign languages (because in this place, almost all languages of the world will be spoken).

In the case of difficult people and people of foreign languages, I will do my best to satisfy their needs.

In the case of frustrated people who insult whitout any reason I think I better try to Ignore them as most as I can and maybe just smile and avoid eye-contact, I think I should always avoid any conversation with those people.

What I do is turn it around to something they can't do anything but laugh.
Like if they say you are stupid reply with I think I done pretty good with my kindergarten education.
If they say you are too slow tell them to thank the turtle that was paid good for the lessons.

Its old advice but it's the best - try not to take it personally and when you can't help but take it personally learn how to tell someone to eat sh*t in the nicest way possible. Believe it can be done with some practice. I worked in hedge funds for a number of years and you have to show people that they cannot push you around. I would often launch back with something humorous that was biting or I would often say "i would be more then happy to help you however I find it very distracting when someone is visibly upset with me over something that I have not done. I would appreciate it if you could alter your tone slightly while I help you as it will help me be as efficient as possible" (BIG SMILE). Works every time.

At my last company I had an employee called me up in tirade on my 5th day there. I said to him "I'm really sorry you are having a bad day but I don't believe that any of that had to do with me" and then I laughed and he laughed and after that day he became my biggest ally at that company. So don't be afraid to "call" people out on their bad behavior in a nice way.

Well, it's easy to say stay calm. But what I'd always do to stay calm is to take allllllll that rudeness in by blinding my ears n at times, ignorance does help in stresss