To Whom It May Concern,

I live with my fiancé, and have done for 3-1/2 years. We both have two kids each. My fiancés last marriage ended due to infidelity on his ex-wifes part.

Now that we are together, and have lived together for 3-1/2 years, in that duration of time, I have not even thought about another man. I have not cheated what so ever. He has been jealous for the past uear more so than normal. I work part time, and some days I work longer than others. He thinks I am having an affair. I am not. I am working. It is so bad now, that whenI am out working, I find a phone at the place of business that I am at, and I have to call him every two hours from the same phone so that he knows I am working. I have to call when I leave and when I get home. I have to call him when I just want to run to the market. He has to know where I am every single minute of the day. I don't mind, but even after doing as he asked regarding calling him, he still acuses me of cheating. It is getting so bad, that at times, it hurts my feelings to where I am in tears.

Please give me any kind of advice that you could offer me, and some days, I just don't want to be around him. The jealouses and insecurities can be overwhelming.

Please advise me as to what to do.

Thank you,


Anna

I believe you. I don't know if you have done this already, but if you haven't, I would have a serious discussion with him about the way that he is making you feel. I can understand his issues with trust. I have also had someone who cheated on me. I may be incorrect, but I sense that you might be feeling some guilt because the two of you have not been communicating as much and as openly as you can. You may be playing a guessing game with each other because the communication may not be what it could be. Again, I may be incorrect. If I am, I apologize.

Hopefully, others will come along to offer their support and advice also. This has just been mine based upon what you have shared.

Sometimes people start believing lies that aren't even true. There are probably heaps of reasons he thinks like this. Maybe he heard a rumor, someone might of told him. Has he started on medicine or anything? But I think that you should sit him down one day and talk to him about it. Everything, and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING! Your feelings, that you would never cheat on him and so on. After a few weeks if he still doesn't believe you then I would divorce him. If there's a relationship between someone, there needs to be trust. And if there's no trust then how how can there be a relationship? You need to think about who is more better off. You or him? I know it may seem harsh, but is he really worth the time if he can't even trust you going down to the shops for a few minutes? But this is just my opinion.

You say you don't mind but you should! His behavior is unacceptable. Perhaps, his ex-wife didn't really cheat and he jealousy drove her to leave. You and your SO should seek professional help.

I am in almost the same situation, except I'm not married to the jerk. He wants to get married though. I have to "check-in" with him more than I ever did with my parents. If I don't talk to him the full hour for lunch, even if it was just 55 minutes, he thinks that I'm cheating on him or doing something scandalous during that 5 minutes. It's freaking ridiculous. Maybe we can talk and help each other.

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Originally Posted by otherkat

Maybe we can talk and help each other.

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I do hope that you do start communicating with each other. Support from others in the same type of situation is often helpful. :)