Death seems to fallow me the last 2 years. My mother passed away in a fatal car accident, 2 months later my father OD'd. He had wrote a note and blamed it on me. Said I ruined his life. He also said I killed my mother. My girlfriend died at my hands when My snowmachine went through the ice. I got no one left. I find myself awake crying to nothing. And to no one. I live in a foster care with the Minister of the local Church, They treat me well. But these last 2 years have been hell and now the wife of the minister is very sick with Cancer, I really need a way to cope. Are all these deaths really my fault? Would I be better off not being here? Would the world be better off without me? Please anser me. Please! I beg of you all for help. I am so desprite I am asking compleat strangers. HELP ME!

Of course not, unless you took a gun and killed someone, no one causes anothers death.

Your mom died in a car wreck, so who ever was at fault in the accident was to blame. Your father died because he was mentally ill, he took some drug and killed hisself,

A snow mobile accident, was just that an accident.

We all have people that we know die every year. I work with the elderly, I have someone I work with die every week,

Do you think you have some dark power that even surpasses GODS own plan? I think not. You are going through the deaths of your loved ones early. Most of us experience that later in life.
As far as your father goes, I'm sorry, but he sounds as if he were a very selfesh person. It is not your fault that anyone has died unless you take their life.
Life is for the living and you need to learn to let them go and start living your own life. I am not saying it will be easy but when you finally make it, it will be glorious! Good luck.

I'm a 16 year old kid. I have no idea what's happening. I'm just, so scared. Why can't I get it out of my head. Why do I awake with these horid dreams of me killing countless people. It kills me. It's eating me alive. I cannot take this anymore.

Because you lost people close to you, You need some professional counseling to try and help get though this

I'm scared of going to council or talking to people. Because everyone I get close to dies. What if this just keeps terorising my life. What if I kill who ever helps me. Sometimes I think the only way this will stop is if I was the one to die... Then the world would be set.

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Originally Posted by magprob

Do you think you have some dark power that even surpasses GODS own plan? I think not. You are going through the deaths of your loved ones early. Most of us experiance that later in life.
As far as your father goes, I'm sorry, but he sounds as if he were a very selfesh person. It is not your fault that anyone has died unless you take their life.
Life is for the living and you need to learn to let them go and start living your own life. I am not saying it will be easy but when you finally make it, it will be glorious! Good luck.

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I agree...
No human has power that surpasses Gods power,to give or to take life.

No its not your fault
I lost my big brother when I was 13
He had schiphronic
That's were you hear voices
He suffered for a long time and he got into drugs
He was in football,basketball,baseballand other sports
Before he found out that he had that
Its mental diesease
He killedhimself but he didn't want to
He prayed everyday he taught me how to pray
He wanted to be a priest when he got older
I wish that nobody has have a mental illness because its no fair its really not
Death doesn't follow you
Your dad should have never said that to you
Thhats not right
He should never killedhimself
That not fair for you
Pray for good things and ways to cope through all this because its very hard I wish there was no death
I wish we can be happy,safe,and live forever
Luckly nothing has happen to you yet be greatfull for that
I hope things will get better;)

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Originally Posted by InPain488

I'm scared of going to council or talking to people. Because everyone I get close to dies. What if this just keeps terorising my life. What if I kill who ever helps me. Sometimes I think the only way this will stop is if I was the one to die... Then the world would be set.

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Life is not ours to give or take, it is a gift from God to do good on this earth.

When the Almighty gave life, it is always for a set time and when the time for death comes we cannot delay it nor fast forward it.

If we had control over who dies and lives, I think all of us will be surrounded by the people we love or care about and no one will die.

But this is life, as one is born so shall we face death, death is a reality of life.
Unless someone intentionally kills another we cannot say that person is responsible.
It was very harsh and selfish of your father to blame you for your mothers death and to kill himself.

You should try not be like your father as much as possible because he took his own life,but you are strong and you can choose to live life.

Some of us face death more than others,while some others will lose people to this world, who abandon loved ones for the sake of this world,while others seem to have it all.

But we must remember that this world is only a temporary place and it is for us to be good and do good and die a good person.

Find a cause where you can help humanity, that is one way to value life.Help those who wish to live but do not have the means to survive,help those who are suffering and take them out of their misery and help people build their lives.
Such work with humanitarian causes will help you see the world different, that you are not the only one, that there are so many who have lost so much.People have terminal diseases they fight everyday,children are fighting to survive or just to be someone.

There is so much you can do for this world by reaching out and helping.It will help you cope and understand that none of us give or take life,but the Almighty does that and it is up to us to make the best of what life gives us.
By helping others and helping ourselves build our lives and learning to move on and live.

Until the moment death arrives at our doorstep we must continue to do good and live life as best as we can.

About the dreams of killing, that is just the guilt you feel and because you are blaming yourself.
Please do get professional help.Talk to a counsellor(maybe at school or from outside if possible)

I could really use someone to talk to. If someone is willing to talk to me my e-mail is
[email protected] please. I could really use a friend.