I met this married man doing volunteer work. I noticed that he was nice looking and he was helpful with what I needed. I do fundraisers for the Humane Society. Anyway, he told me to contact when I needed his help and he would donate a portion of money from his business. He gave me his business card and his cell phone number. I contacted at a later date and visited him ar his business and our eyes connected instantly. He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I could tell he was attracted to me too. We started talking and flirting and emailing one another and we just have this incredible chemistry. We have a lot in common and I think he is amazing. It's been 4 weeks and I think I am falling for him. He's been married for 22 years and I have been married for 6 years. He has two chidren and I have one. I never thought I could feel like this about anyone else. I have a good marriage, so I don't understand how all of this happened. We have been sexually active and it has been amazing. I know that is marriage is OK but not great. He told me today that they haven't been talking lately. I know I don't need to be doing this and we both don't want to get caught but I can't stop. I think I love this guy. I can't imagine not being able to see him or talk to him. We see each other maybe 5 times a week but I long to see him every day. What kind of advice do you have for me?

STOP.

How would you feel if your husband was having sex with another woman? Is your husband leaving you and taking your child far, far away worth lust (which is what you are feeling).

Also, this married man is lying to you. Every married man says his marriage is okay or not great and that he and his wife don't talk and don't have sex.

You are ruining your marriage and your marriage only. Because you can bet dollars to donuts that you are not his first affair and his wife is probably already accepted this to be a part of their lives and he will never, ever, EVER leave her.

Oh man....This isn't going to end well.

Feeling bummed already.

For a relationship like this to work, it needs to work fast. I have seen people jump from a bad marriage to a soulmate, but this has none of those ingredients. You felt a spark you had not felt in years and you went for it. It was like a pastry that you just couldn't resist.

But I KNOW there is A LOT more to this story... from your or his side... and your significant others and kids will be dragged into this and unless you are ready to marry NEXT WEEK - I would pull the plug and see if your marriage is salvageable. It is going to suffer - big time. If you both are divorced in a year... go for it, otherwise. Like I said, this is a train wreck waiting to happen...

Are you his first affair?? I'd guess not. SORRY.

Did you not take your vows seriously when you said them? Till death do us part? Why would you betray your husband? I think cheating is one of the worst things you can do to another person! You have been married 6 years and you have a child! And your willing to throw all that away for a guy that you have the hots for! I hope you have both been checked out for STD's and AIDS and that your not giving them to your husband! You need to really sit back and take a good look at your life and see if losing everyhting for this man is worth it. No to mention how this will affect your child! Don't be so selfish!

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Originally Posted by selmer

What kind of advice do you have for me?

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Stop seeing him immediately. Nothing good can come of this.

Okay, I understand that you think you may have feelings for this guy but there not real feelings. You should definitely cut it off and work on your marriage. You've been with your husband for a long time. Don't take your family forgranted for some guy you just met, you need to at least think about your child.
If your not going to listen to anyone else. At least be smart and use protection and make sure you get tested for STD's & AIDS. I mean keep in mind that you can seriously have something even though you may not currently have symptoms.
You need to cut this guy off and do some major thinking.

Stop seeing him, or give your husband a divorce and let him have custody of the child.

It is easy, you delete his email, change your email account if you have to, just stop contact period

First off, remember "The grass ain't always greener on the otherside." Of course this guy is amazing, the sex is great, he's darn near perfect... because there are "no strings attached." It's almost as if you are living out a fantasy. You aren't going to find ANYTHING bad in this man because you aren't looking. He is just that... a fantasy. You need to stop seeing this guy. Take your life and the life of your husband and child into perspective. This may seem like a picture perfect "flame" right now, but this relationship could cost you your whole family. It could change your life forever. You both are married, wake up from that dream world you are in. Snap back into reality. If there are problems in your marriage, if you are lacking to the point that you have to seek these things in another man, you need to talk to your husband. You need to find out what is important to you in life. Stop thinking for just a second how wonderful this man is and realize how empty your life would be without your family. Is it really worth the risk? Do you really want to put that strain on yourself and your marriage? If this guy was so "perfect" he wouldn't be cheating on his wife either. Honey go back to your family. Work things out (or don't). You can't have your cake and eat it too. This will NEVER work out well! These things never do.

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What kind of advice do you have for me?

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Stop the cheating and deceit. If you both had put as much energy into your marriages, then they would be better, but since you chose to be selfish, and cross the boundaries, then the consequences of your actions, will be what you get, and deserve.

I definitely agree with Talaniman. I'm sorry if I may sound disrespectful, and ignorant but why do people get married when they have no self control ? When you love someone, truly love someone you do not give into your temptations, no matter how high they are. Let your marriage consume you and your emotions, not another man. Your husband - under no circumstances deserves what you've done, and nor does this other mans wife. How would you feel if it were done to you. Invest in your marriage, its all you have when the rest of the world fails and when this fling finds another woman to court.

I really think you should stop and take care of your family and let him take care of his.

Wow, you guys are breaking up two families and destroying the lives of 3 children. That must make you feel great. You must not have any trouble sleeping at night.
Do you have any idea what you are doing here?
Wake up - go home to the man you made the COMMITMENT to!

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Originally Posted by selmer

I met this married man doing volunteer work. I noticed that he was nice looking and he was helpful with what I needed. I do fundraisers for the Humane Society. Anyway, he told me to contact when I needed his help and he would donate a portion of money from his business. He gave me his business card and his cell phone number. I contacted at a later date and visited him ar his business and our eyes connected instantly. He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I could tell he was attracted to me too. We started talking and flirting and emailing one another and we just have this incredible chemistry. We have a lot in common and I think he is amazing. It's been 4 weeks and I think I am falling for him. He's been married for 22 years and I have been married for 6 years. he has two chidren and I have one. i never thought I could feel like this about anyone else. I have a good marriage, so I don't understand how all of this happened. We have been sexually active and it has been amazing. I know that is marriage is ok but not great. He told me today that they haven't been talking lately. I know I don't need to be doing this and we both don't want to get caught but I can't stop. I think I love this guy. I can't imagine not being able to see him or talk to him. We see eachother maybe 5 times a week but I long to see him every day. What kind of advice do you have for me?

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Women of your calibre should be taken out into the streets and flogged. Then your head should be shaved as a warning to all other decent women not to associate with you.
You should go volunteer at a home for children and mothers from broken homes. You should kiss their feet. You are a joke going out doing charity work.

I just love when people grow up get married and still act like they are in high school. If you cheat don't ask for pity because only the delusional will think its okay, if your that unhappy leave if you feel guilty stop, don't complicate it all to make yourself feel better, if your husband was doing this you would see yourself as the victim, yat your doing it and its still you that should get pity? Somehow I think not, no amount of explaining will make it OK and its woman like you that make me have to try so hard to be a decent chick.

As the saying goes... "DONT LEAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE FOR THE ONE YOU LIKE BECAUSE THE ONE THEY LIKE WILL LEAVE YOU FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE!!!" ask around,think of your friends past experiences. Don't do that to yourself or your family. Reinvent yourself with your husband ,role play. Good luck:)

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Originally Posted by selmer

He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.
I could tell he was attracted to me too.
we just have this incredible chemistry.
We have a lot in common and I think he is amazing.
i never thought I could feel like this about anyone .
I have a good marriage.
We have been sexually active and it has been amazing.

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I BET his wife feels the same way.

I've been there, in your shoes. I was married to my wife for 8 years and she cheated on my while I was in iraq (nothing to do with this story) but when I came back I begged her to work it out. We worked it out but for a few years after that I was finding flames so to speak. Younger attractive woman that I saw nothing but lust in and thought that I couldn't live without. I couldn't imagine leaving my wife for any of these woman yet I still always sought something better. My wife and I had two kids, a house, multiple cars, everything I could dream of. The last time I fell "in love" with a woman, my wife had enough hurting, and it was the last straw. It quickly ended and she moved on. I now have nothing, no love, no wife, no house, and I'm paying tons of child support. Luckily we were able to get through the divorce without a lot of fighting or money spent on laywers. This all happen over a year and a half ago and I still feel deep regret and sadness. I miss my family. My ex wife is now engaged to another man and It was like a stab to the heart. I got what I deserved. I hope that you save your family before its too late.