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-   -   Father wants Joint Custody after 12 years (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=131006)

  • Sep 18, 2007, 01:37 PM
    sue1
    Father wants Joint Custody after 12 years
    I joined this group in hope to find out what the chances are that my sons father will receive Joint custody. I am pretty sure he is going for 50% of the time.
    Some history of my situation~
    My son 12 yrs old was born out of wedlock we stayed together for about 1 1/2 years, after that we went our separate ways.. we never have had any kind of custody dispute the only thing we have done is gone through domestics and we agreed on a certain "low" amount that he would need to pay. (which he defaulted many times). I have paid all medical insurance. I will let my son go with his father anytime he asks. We never really had a problem for this long and now all of the sudden I get served Papers...

    I have been married for six years and have another child and a stepson. His father always stayed in contact with our son and was the "fun" guy to be around he would work out of town during the week so we both agreed that he could see him 3 weekends a month. His father recently moved in with another girl. His father has started working closer to home and is not always traveling, so he was seeing him a lot on the week nights and wouldn't drop him off until around 8 at night. Well about 8 weeks ago I approached him asking for more time to spend with our son on the weekend... suggesting every other weekend.. and maybe he could see him sometime during the week... Well, his father took it as, seeing him pretty much 50% of the time.. After doing this new schedule for about 6 weeks... I told his father that this wasn't going to work out for our son because it was too much flip flooping around and that I thought we should come up with some other kind of plan.. well, all of the sudden I get served papers saying he is sueing me for custody of our son.. since all of this I have been on an emotional rollarcoaster... not sure why his father is doing something like this after so many years.. I have been the assumed primary care person in our sons life for 12 years. I am scared that I trusted his father so much and just wanted him to have a great realationship with our son that it has come back to bite me in the butt for being so giving and cooperative..

    I would appreciate any comments
  • Sep 21, 2007, 06:57 AM
    ACAYEJ
    My boys are 9 and 7 and I've pretty much been in your boat, there father didn't see them for over 2yrs , then decided after he broke up with his girl that he wanted to be a part of their lives on a convince to him basis, so I let him ( I wanted my boys to know their dad) then last yr. he started dating a lady , his mothers age, that has no kids of her own and she loves mine, ( she likes to play house with them) now don't get me wrong she is great with them, but he shouldn't be wanting a relationship with his kids to make her feel better... but that's what's happening, depending on you state and laws, depends on his chances, the lawyer here says he won't get full custody... ill keep my fingers crossed and pray for you, good luck... let me know what happens
  • Sep 21, 2007, 07:09 AM
    ScottGem
    There is no predicting what a judge will do. But, if you have had physical custody for 12 years, it will be hard for him to get a judge to see a reason for change. That you have been liberal in letting him see your son in the past should work in your favor.

    You should get an attorney to represent you though. I would go into the court and explain to the judge that you felt the need to protect your son because the father's visitation was causing problems.

    By the way, it sounds like he already HAS Joint Custody which simply means you both have equal say in how your son is rasied. Either he's looking to be the primary physical custodian or amore formal and equal visitation.

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