I have a best friend for the past 10 years and for the past 3 years we have been lovers too. He is a great guy and we see each other every other week but talk on the phone a lot we are so busy with our jobs. Last week we were having sex and he told me that he loved me but I don't know if he realized that I heard him and if he really means it. How can I find out and how do ask him. My friend told me the next time I see him and we are doing the same thing to tell him that I love him I really do but I have a hard time tell him how I feel in that sense. I think that he really does know how I feel about him. Help me please./ :confused:

If you have been best friends for 10 years and lovers for 3 then I dare say he loves you. I would hope after this time it has developed into love! Im sure it is. If you love him and want him to know then tell him. You better get better at sharing your feelings or one day you may lose him! He might be wanting to hear it back and if he doesn't he may wonder what he is doing with you.

But it sounds like a healthy loving relationship to me which is based on a solid friendship which is the best type in my opinion. So tell him you love him!

You need to be honest with him and yourself. You need to know if he feels that way also. Your feelings for him are only going to get stronger. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Let him know your feelings for him. Find out his for you. You need to both know where this relationship lies. "Friends with benefits" is obviously not working for you.

10 years and 3 in bed and you still don't know if he loves you??

I'd say you were friends so long, you forgot to be lovers.
That's OK though. It sounds healthy. But you both need to step up and add that word to your vocabulary now and then. During Sex people will say damn near anything, but It was probably sincere and one place to start - say it back next time... Still, out of the bedroom is more significant and I hope you can add it there too - heck try it at the market... that'll scare his A--! :-)

Unless he has a girlfriend or he is married...

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

Unless he has a gf or he is married...

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Hmmm, I hope not.

Do you two live together?
Are you in a committed relationship?
How old are you?
How often do you see each other?

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Hmmm, I hope not.

Do you two live together?
Are you in a committed relationship?
How old are you?
How often do you see eachother?

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Get you started on the questions;)

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

Get you started on the questions;)

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Ahem... yes.

Are you in nyc SG?
That's a question.

Im pretty sure she would know if her best friend of 10 years was married or had a GF. If not he is one helluva liar!