Ive been married almost a year now and my husband and I used to have sex alllll the time. Now I pray he decideds to touch me at some point in the day... I am not ugly or anything like that... When he does attempt which is rare, he does it in a way in which I am in no way shape or form turned on. However I feel if I don't take advantage of this time who knows when ill be having sex next. I don't even enjoy it more than half the time but its all I have to be close to him... by the way, I have told him this, things will change for about a couple of days and then bak to normal... I don't know what to do?:(

Just avail the time when he is turn on... and try to make him romantic... and seduce him soemtime by wearing smthing erotic...
Try to make your room altered and lit some candle and dim lights to make the atmosphere romantic and when you guys retire from the work and are going to bed... this might help.

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Originally Posted by Kanelos

Ive been married almost a year now and my husband and i used to have sex alllll the time. Now i pray he decideds to touch me at some point in the day... I am not ugly or anything like that... When he does attempt which is rare, he does it in a way in which i am in no way shape or form turned on. however i feel if i dont take advantage of this time who knows when ill be having sex next. i dont even enjoy it more than half the time but its all i have to be close to him...by the way, i have told him this, things will change for about a couple of days and then bak to normal...I dont know what to do?:(

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Hmmm... Mabbe he is very familiar to the way you both make it out... I know its very disappointing at the sexual part front... sex between both of you might have become predictable for him or something like that... His preferences might have changed and so your sex scheduled is kind of disturbed?. well I would suggest try something out new... like you have never done something wild n' new before... give him BJ's, bath together, massage him gently evrywhr or make it out in his or yours fav. Position... or one of the good trick to turn him on is make his read erotic stories... they are far more effective than watching the boring porn movies... I bet he will attack on you like a hungry lion before he finishes reading his full erotic story! Here are some good sources for tht: Literotica - 100% free sex stories, erotic audio, adult fiction with wifeslut, bdsm, etc! Enjoy!~

You should try touching him. When he gets home, greet him with a kiss. When you both are sitting in the couch lay down on his lap and message his penis. TURN HIM ON. Make him want you. Guide him. Give him oral. Ask him to give you some or turn around and do 69. Make is exciting for him. Walk around in lingerie. A kiss in the neck here and there, touch yourself.

Do you have any kids?
I'm asking cause maybe he is just being careful with the kids or something.

Good Luck :)

COMMON PROBLEM.

many times the euphoria of dating and engagement and wedding can give way to the realities of daily life....

Schedule a trip and get away... see how life is in another world... where you can have fantasy again. THEN broach the subject before you go home that you need to find days to replicate it... surprise him on your trip: say and do things he did not expect! He may think he knows you inside and out...

change is an aphrodysiac.

Well a year into the marriage things are still in flux, maybe he's ticked off about something, maybe its something else altogether different. How old is he, and does he have any medical or phsycological issues such as depression, any medications he is on?

All the suggestions I have gotten have been great however I have tried all of them, from outfits to what ever new thing he has wanted... I don't know thanks to all thou!

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Originally Posted by Ash123

COMMON PROBLEM.

many times the euphoria of dating and engagement and wedding can give way to the realities of daily life....

schedule a trip and get away....see how life is in another world...where you can have fantasy again. THEN broach the subject before you go home that you need to find days to replicate it......surprise him on your trip: say and do things he did not expect! he may think he knows you inside and out....

change is an aphrodysiac.

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This is what me and my boyfriend (ex-husband... we are trying to date again) do when we are stuck in a rut. We will plan a spur of the moment weekend vacation to the beach (just me and him, no kid). We will get a nice hotel, go to the beach, go shopping in the little downtown stores and just hang out together. There is something about getting away from the routine that changes everything. Even if it is just for a couple days. Give it a try and see what happens. ;)

Outfits etc. are not really the issue....

It's about him NOT taking the coupling for granted. You may have to take a trip - with him... or without him... Maybe a girls weekend will get him thinking... it's too predictable now... Get emancipated. And let him get a clue.

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Originally Posted by Kanelos

... When he does attempt which is rare, he does it in a way in which i am in no way shape or form turned on. however i feel if i dont take advantage of this time who knows when ill be having sex next. i dont even enjoy it more than half the time (

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This part about him approaching you when you are as unready as you can be suggests maybe he doesn't want you unless he knows you aren't hungry for him. Is he angry with you and not admitting it? Punishing you? Or just intimidated by your having more sex drive than he does? I'd suggest backing away from him and waiting for him to pursue you, but that never worked for me! I like the idea of taking him on a trip away from work and worries. I'd try counseling too. Maybe someone else can get him to open up and tell you what the problem is. Good luck.

U need to play more with him ,try seduncing him by talking naughty to him and giving him clues.


Hay you didn't give us any feedback about what's going on at your end... did something work or not,did you try what I told u?

I thank you for mentioning this topic--I would have never gotten around to it. It is the most hurtful thing to feel undesirable by your mate. A man who is a coward holds in whatever he sees (or imagines) and says nothing about. His punishment is to withhold sex--women are guilty of the same offense. Either way, it solves nothing and makes matters worse. Open air conversations should be the 'norm' in every relationship but some are just willing to create more drama or may not have the emotional resources needed for peaceful resolutions.
People choose how they wish to live in the world and who they want as a partner. You can not change what is in the heart of an adult. The most you can do is put them on notice that what they are doing is hurtful and hope they care enough about you & the relationship to change from the inside out.

I wish you well.

OP's Last Activity: Sep 18, 2007 12:03 AM

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