My boyfriend has broken up with me for the 2nd time in 2yrs. He came back the 1st time and we were together 4 8mths but then we started arguing and I became possessive and jealous and he broke up with me.He says he still loves and cares about me and wants to stay friends and can't not have me in his life after 2years 2getha. We have a big age gap and I'm older than him and I think this is an issue for him. I want him back... will he come back?

How old are you?

How old is he?

What do you do/study for living?

(DO NOT CONTACT HIM RIGHT NOW)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

How old are you?

How old is he?

What do you do/study for living?

(DO NOT CONTACT HIM RIGHT NOW)

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He's 23yrs and I'm 32yrs

He studies and I work

Voila.

On paper, I hope it is clearer to you: You all are in different places in your lives.

He may come back if you leave him alone, but I'm not sure - unless it was a couple years from now - if it could last.

You all care deeply for each other, but are in different places in your lives.
If you all talk again any time soon, you need to address this fact. And how your future would work. I think, as the older person, you REALLY need to consider the friend option for now. If you can.It would be a nice gesture. If not, ask for time and silence... In a few years, maybe you can be more... If not, at least you have the friendship. I have seen this dynamic before and a friendship was salvaged even if the relationship was not their fate.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Voila.

On paper, I hope it is clearer to you: You all are in different places in your lives.

He may come back if you leave him alone, but I'm not sure - unless it was a couple years from now - if it could last.

You all care deeply for eachother, but are in different places in your lives.
If you all talk again any time soon, you need to address this fact. And how your future would work. I think, as the older person, you REALLY need to consider the friend option for now. If you can.It would be a nice gesture. If not, ask for time and silence...In a few years, maybe you can be more....If not, at least you have the friendship. I have seen this dynamic before and a friendship was salvaged even if the relationship was not their fate.

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We are in the same place,he doesn't study away.

Umm, yes, I understand.
What I meant was... You are in the same place "Physically" but not mentally.

Life is lived in stages: infancy, childhood, adolescence/puberty, early-adulthood and adulthood and mature adulthood...

He is in early adulthood and you are in adulthood.

He is bridging this gap now by separating. It is normal.

I know it HURTS... As an adult you need to respect that space... and let him move back into it as you go. But that can also be stressful to you - to wait. So, I would consider friendship in the future. And protecting yourself now if you need...

As for will he come back? If you leave him alone. I think he might circle back BUT I think he will leave again if he has not moved through to where he needs to get. Sometimes we cannot do that IN a relationship. And the age gap may be a problem. I have no doubt you all are great together and it's perfect, it's just a natural part of life... He is living it now.

Sorry. I think you all will talk again though.