Before my boyfriend and I got together, he had a one night stand with someone he met while he was on a business trip. He tells me he loves me but he continues to correspond with her via text messages, emails and the occasional phone calls when she is in town. I asked him not to correspond with her anymore because I know she is still interested in him. This morning I found an email from her with several photos attached, mostly just faceshots but one with her in a 2 piece bikini. He wrote her back and said "you're cute, i've been thinking of you". When I confronted him, he just said he loves me and he has never cheated on me despite many opportunities to do so. He insists that it's not his fault that she continues to reach out to him and additionally I cannot tell him who he can talk to and I'm controlling.

He insists that I'm emotional, I just want to be able to feel confident in a relationship. He said he is sick of my insecurity... am I supposed to be OK with him making comments like "you're cute and i've been thinking of you"? That was very inappropirate, no matter how secure or insecure I might be.

Am I overreacting?

My Goodness, you are still very smooth to him. How lucky he was. But anyway, I see this problem might not be fought by confronting and arguing. Since it didn't work that way, right?

So what I suggest here is that why don't you use "coldwar" as a weapon? Just ignore him, if he asks you what's wrong, then you say "well, i guess i should withdraw, i dont like to be the 3rd person in ur life." If he still says he loves you then tell him "i'll always withdraw if u still contact her, i leave u freedom if needed, its her choice to contact u, but its surely YOUR CHOICE to ignore her, but u just didnt, so there, u made the choice and this is its result! I dont confront with u anymore, i just do what i have to do since u didnt really appreciate my words, ok thats it, bye".

Its time for action, lady :D
Goodluck! Be strong and cold!

No, he is not, a "one night" stand does not keep talking, texting and emailling, this is a continuing relationship.

Of course he is "sick" of it, since you want him to stop being a dog sniffing around at other women. He is very wrong, and should be sleeping on the couch or at the local motel tonight, and honestly his cell phone and computer would be in the trashi f he did it again