Ask Me Help Desk - What do I do now?

Okay here is the story.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now on today's date. All day everything has been fine.

My boyfriend works as a dj so asked me to go djing with him tonight. So although I did not want to I did it anyway. (Djing is the only job my boyfriend has too)

Before the job my dad yelled at me for dating my boyfriend because he thinks he is a bum for being 23 years old only having a djing job. My boyfriend is waiting to be a cop to get a job. I work a full time job as a receptionist.

Anyway...
So after we were done djing I suggested to go to a local bar/ night club to go dancing.. I love to dance. My boyfriend said fine. We get there he wants to sit down and eat appitizers so I did so. Then we got a drink a piece.
There was a live band there that my boyfriend liked a lot so we got up and listen to them. Well as soon as my boyfriend saw someone he knew he all the sudden was like lets go I don't want anyone seeing me dance to this horrible music.
-Mind you I have no friends because every time I make a friend my boyfriend tells me to get rid of them. He always finds a reason to hate someone I talk to. During the week we usually hang out with his friends.
So this is the only time I can see other humans than my boyfriend. He goes and say after being there for only 20 minutes. Lets go this place sucks.

I leave but I voiced my opinon finally. I said I want to stay. I like to go out and have fun. He said lets go home. Then starts yelling at me saying that I pick sucky places and that I am immature for wanting to go out and have fun. Now he broke up with me over this dumb situation.

What did I do wrong?

What can I do to make things right?

How can I be the best girlfriend for him?

If any suggestions please leave them. Sorry for complaining.

You did nothing wrong. Your boyfriend sounds very controlling. No boyfriend has the right to tell you who you can and can't be friends with.

He should be the one wondering how to be a decent boyfriend not you wondering how to be a good girlfriend when it sounds like you aren't making outrageous demands.

This guy did you a favor. He walked let him. Someone who really loved you would not talk to you the way this guy does or treat you the way this guy does. You finally mustered up some courage to speak your mind and that's great keep it up. You deserve to be a voice and an opinion and have them respected by your partner. If your partner cannot respect that then they are a controlling jerk who you should tell to hit the bricks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

You did nothing wrong. Your boyfriend sounds very controlling. No boyfriend has the right to tell you who you can and can't be friends with.

He should be the one wondering how to be a decent boyfriend not you wondering how to be a good girlfriend when it sounds like you aren't making outrageous demands.

This guy did you a favor. He walked let him. someone who really loved you would not talk to you the way this guy does or treat you the way this guy does. You finally mustered up some courage to speak your mind and thats great keep it up. You deserve to be a voice and an opinion and have them respected by your partner. If your partner cannot respect that then they are a controlling jerk who you should tell to hit the bricks.

Thanks glindaofoz its so nice to hear from someon else I am not wrong. Being that this now is my only source of trying to find someone for advice. Thank you very much.

Its very important that you remember yourself worth when it comes to guys like this. Its easy to lose yourself. Its easy to be agreeable and end up in a situation like the one you were just in.

I'm very proud of you for voicing your opinion. You should feel so good about yourself for finally standing up to him and proud of yourself. Now that your found your voice use it honey!

Girl, I am not even going to bother saying how to get back with him, because as soon as you said you have no friends because of him, I thought of at least 3 reasons NOT to be with him. So its good he broke up with you(I am sorry to say) because hw can you be so long with a guy that can't accept you and what you like, your friends, your taste after all this time? He is very selfish, and you are very blind to see that if you just let him do whatever he wants/ He breaks up with you for THAT, it shows how HE is the immature one. Your biggest mistake is even thinking YOU did something wrong. You have kept up with all dilemma, so its about time he man's up and asks for your forgiveness, or you just move on to better things... better guys who actually want to be part of your life... not own your life.

Heey darling... You didn't do anything wrong from what I read!
Sounds to me like your boyfriend was the type who doesn't care what you want to do or what you do... no offens... But I think he should let you go out with your girlfriends sometimes, being with a guyall the time gets boring, you have to go to some other places with your friends instead of him... so that he misses you and will want to be with you more... but you haven't done anything wrong its him, who is immature and if he doesn't like the places you like to go then, he's not into what you do and if he really loves you I think he would really agree to what you want to do. And where you want to go!
But anyway I think you can do better then that... there are a lot of other guys out there better then him!! Don't even bother wanting to get back with him... because he Doesn't treat you with respect or your likes...

You need to get away from him as soon as possible. A guy who doesn't want you to have any of your own friends scares me andi don't even know u or him. This can really lead to a life of hell for you. He could end up abusing you or worse. Load u on some self esteem books and tell yourself that you can do better than that. No one should make you feel that way. Trust me with a guy like that, you are never going to be a good girlfriend. They are never pleased. That is also considered emotional abuse. He is a loser. Ditch him, call up an old girlfriend from shool and go out dancing. You will have a blast!

Thank you all for your information.. defidently boosted myself esteem to know that I can go out there and possibly find someone else. Not only that just to enjoy life and not get rid of the people who matter to me. Thank you very much everyone. Thank You!

You did nothing wrong. People need friends in life. It's not right for him to deny you of that. Relationships are compromise he should not have made you leave if you were having fun because he is a poser and afraid of what people will say if they see him at a show that they think is not cool. That right there is just so lame. Tell him to get a mind of his own and not be afraid to like what he likes otherwise he must be the suckiest dj around. If I were you I would just let him go find someone who will be nice to you and encourage you to have friends and not treat you with direspect. Why was he worried about seeing someone he knew there ? That parts does not make sense . If asomeone he knew was there then that would mean maybe they liked it also and why would he not want them to see him there at something they liked? Be glad he is gone you don't need that control crap. It's a bad situation to get into and he sounds like he really don't care what you want anyway so leave that poser . Good Luck I am sure you can do much better then that guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hello Out There

thank you all for your information.. defidently boosted my self esteem to know that i can go out there and possibly find someone else. Not only that just to enjoy life and not get rid of the people who matter to me. Thank you very much everyone. Thank You!

Please remember that if you need help to stay strong and keep this jerk away we are all here to keep boosting you back up!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hello Out There

Okay here is the story.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now on todays date. All day everything has been fine.

My boyfriend works as a dj so asked me to go djing with him tonight. So although i did not want to i did it anyways. (Djing is the only job my boyfriend has too)

Before the job my dad yelled at me for dating my boyfriend because he thinks he is a bum for being 23 years old only having a djing job. My boyfriend is waiting to be a cop to get a job. I work a full time job as a receptionist.

Anyways......
So after we were done djing i suggested to go to a local bar/ night club to go dancing.. I love to dance. My boyfriend said fine. We get there he wants to sit down and eat appitizers so i did so. Then we got a drink a piece.
There was a live band there that my boyfriend liked alot so we got up and listen to them. Well as soon as my bf saw someone he knew he all the sudden was like lets go i dont want anyone seeing me dance to this horrible music.
-Mind you i have no friends because everytime i make a friend my boyfriend tells me to get rid of them. He always finds a reason to hate someone i talk to. During the week we usally hang out with his friends.
So this is the only time i can see other humans than my boyfriend. He goes and say after being there for only 20 mins. lets go this place sucks.

I leave but i voiced my opinon finally. I said i want to stay. I like to go out and have fun. He said lets go home. Then starts yelling at me saying that i pick sucky places and that iam immature for wanting to go out and have fun. Now he broke up with me over this dumb situation.

What did i do wrong?

What can i do to make things right?

How can i be the best girlfriend for him?

If any suggestions please leave them. Sorry for complaining.

so as it turns out my x now was a complete physco path. He wanted all sorts of crazy sex stuff. I am not into that I like it to be nice and meaningful. His was more like well you get the point. Anyway I finally broke it off with him. I could not take it anymore with him or his immaturity. He spit in my drink, constantly plays video games, works 1 day a week tells me I need to find another job, his family is also messed up, the list goes on. That's for all the advice everyone gave me. With a little time I finally got the strength that I needed as glindaofoz said. Thanks for the boost. Needed it big time. <3 :) thank you again