I am new here and I am wondering if someone can give me a hint of what my issue is; I never asked anyone for advice but, this has been with me since as long as I can remember. The problem is I don't feel anything. I have no emotion to express; I often have to put on a face to show people that I am fine but nothing has changed, like I am missing something. Pleases feel free to ask me questions. I have much to discuss and explain.

Thank you,

BJ

Do you recall any abuses earlier in your life? Or is there some reason your emotions want to stay hidden inside you, for fear of being exploited or crushed or made fun of?

Maybe you are like me, an emotionally detached person. I'm of German heritage and had parents who were loving but who didn't show a lot of emotion, unlike perhaps an Italian or Greek or Mexican family that doesn't usually hold back laughing and crying and venting. (And no, one can't peg a person by his nationality or heritage, but Mediterranean peoples tend to be more emotional than are Central Europeans or the English, for instance.)

I'm good in emergencies. In fact, my younger son once complained that, whenever he got cut or scraped or hurt in some way as a kid, I always immediately set to work to clean the wound and disinfect it, but didn't fall all over him weeping and saying, "My poor baby!" I guess he would have enjoyed hearing a few "poor baby"s along the way.

I also make a good counselor and customer service person because I don't fall apart when a client breaks down in tears or a library patron comes in to the library loaded for bear over an overdue notice.

If your detachment really bothers you, you're going to have to parent yourself and slowly reach out to safe people to give or get an occasional hug or kiss or touch on the arm or literal pat on the back. The trick will be to relax and enjoy it while it's being offered to you or given by you. That's why I mentioned "safe people"--even asking these people to roleplay with you or be ready to accept or give affection when they see you coming.

No, I have never been abused when I was a child. In fact my family was very protective of me even till this day. Everyone depends on me and looks to me for advice but I have no one to confide in because I can solve most of my problems or wait for a better solution. The problem is that I don't feel anything when it comes to the matters of the heart; love towards another person is a better way to put it. I have been waiting for a real man, and now that I have found him, I don't feel anything. I am guessing it is because I am scared but I know better then that because I have grown on him and he is waiting for the right moment to make his move; he is tired of playing cat and mouse.

What is your ethnic background? How "emotional" did/do family members get? You said you don't feel anything when it comes to "matters of the heart." Do you feel emotions in other situations (e.g. anger, frustration, excitement, demonstrative love for animals or people, etc.)? If so, how do you express those emotions?

I really don't think that race has anything to do with emotion because it is a human condition; anyone from any race can feel the way I feel whether that individual is German or not. I am Caribbean American. I rarely get angry, hardly get frustrated by anyone or anything, nor do I feel excitement unless it is something unexpected which is ever hardly the case. I think all animals are cute but I am attracted to wolf dogs and people are intimidated most of the time because I walk around with a blank face expression (with stamped on my forehead) and look into their eyes while talking to them. As for family and great friends, I am very affectionate.

I didn't say race has anything to do with expressing emotion, but if one has a very strong ethnic identification and heritage, there are definitely markers on one's ability to emote. Upbringing too affects how demonstrative one is. My 100% Greek coworker laughs and cries loudly and often; my 100% German self is appalled by that. Heritage and upbringing both contribute to our emotional lives. (And by the way, we are good friends.)

Since you are able to be very affectionate with family and friends, don't worry about what people say to you about what your face doesn't show. Let them be intimidated. Life experience will bring you opportunities to react. You sound like someone who would be terrific in public service. Use your emotional abilities or "lack" of them in the best ways possible. If we all were the same emotionally, this would be a dull, dull world.

I very much understand what you are saying when it comes to a strong cultural background but I still feel that "strong cultural backgrounds" does not matters; but that is just me.

As for what thoughts people hold of me, I can care less whether that my presents threaten their sense of being. But I am fine now, I have found my own solution to this weary problem.

Thank you for your opinions, even though it did not help me much, I very much appreciate your concerns. Thank you.

Did you sell your soul?

Of course not lol!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by RedM00n_320

I am new here and I am wondering if someone can give me a hint of what my issue is; I never asked anyone for advice but, this has been with me since as long as I can remember. The problem is I don't feel anything. I have no emotion to express; I often have to put on a face to show people that I am fine but nothing has changed, like I am missing something. Pleases feel free to ask me questions. I have much to discuss and explain.

Thank you,

BJ

---

Is it possible you have some kind of disorder? I can't think of the name of it at the moment, but there is a disorder where you feel no emotion. Like if someone was to flirt openly with your boyfriend you would feel no jealousy at all (just an example). Does that sound a bit like what you mean? I am curious what other information you can give us.

It might be something of the like but I have not had a boyfriend since I was 9 years old. I don't know what it is like to be jealous, but I know that people are afraid to speak to me because I look at them a certain way (usually the blank stare).

Just throwing this out but is it possible that you don't feel anything for this man because you aren't in love with him? Maybe you feel that since he is a good man, I believe you said a "real man" that you should in fact feel love and all of those other emotions. But maybe he just isn't one for you to love.

That might be it, but I had feelings for him until just recently. I could not feel anything when ever I think of him.

Maybe you just simply no longer feel those things for him.

It happens all the time. Your feelings can change or disappear all together. There doesn't have to be a "reason" for it. You may just start to feel that its not serving you or what you really need or want.

Maybe, but of course my moods tend to fluctuate form time to time so I was not really sure about anything a few days ago. However, I have come to terms to what the problem was.