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-   -   Why do none of my relationships seem to work? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=129464)

  • Sep 14, 2007, 05:37 AM
    SDRAWKCAB-SDRAWROF
    Why do none of my relationships seem to work?
    Every time I go out with someone all that seems to happen is destruction.
    Either they won't want commitment, or they rush into things far too quickly and quite frankly scare me slightly. What am I doing wrong? I'd rather just be seeing someone if the boundaries were clear cut. Is this at all possible?

    :(
  • Sep 14, 2007, 07:37 AM
    nicespringgirl
    How old are you? What type of person are you?
  • Sep 14, 2007, 07:45 AM
    SDRAWKCAB-SDRAWROF
    I'm a 20 year old bisexual girl who so far has only been out with girls.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 09:41 AM
    Ash123
    Springgirl started a good set of questions...

    I see some answers already - here's a couple more ?'s:

    1) what is your relationship with your father?
    2) with your mother?
    3) have you ever been abused or violated?
    4) When did you find yourself attracted to women?
    5) What do you do for a living?
    6) What is your best friends job?
    7) What is your favorite book? Movie?
    8) What is your passion in life?
  • Sep 14, 2007, 09:46 AM
    SDRAWKCAB-SDRAWROF
    1 & 2: Absolutely perfect
    3: No
    4: 11 years old
    5: Student
    6: Student
    7: 44 Scotland Street:Harry Potter
    8: Reading
  • Sep 15, 2007, 07:08 AM
    talaniman
    Maybe instead of a relationship you start with friends, and stay within your own boundaries, until you can get to know them a lot better. Don't be pushed into something you are not ready for.
  • Sep 15, 2007, 09:47 AM
    shygrneyzs
    I don't see anything wrong in you. When someone else pushes for something you are not ready for, why wouldn't you back out? Yes it is possible to establish boundaries in a relationship. You do that in the beginning, with all the cards on the table about feelings, expectations, realiities, the need to take things slow, and to allow a relationship to develop naturally - without pressure to be one way or the other. That way no one can say later that they did not understand.

    Of course, all relationships are fluid, in the fact that they change and evolve. That is where open and honest communication comes in. Maybe you find someone and life is great. But there comes a point where you are uncomfortable - that is when you talk and identify a problem and find a solution. It all takes time. I do not know why people feel the need to push and commit so fast. It is scary.

    Wishing you the best. Take care.

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