Ask Me Help Desk - What to do?

What to do?

Ok, I went out with this girl for almost three years, we loved each other very much. She broke up with me in the middle of July. She said she got sick of me putting her second to everything else, I called her names, and I didn't treat her right. I didn't realize how bad it hurt her until it was too late. Blahhhh!! A week after the break up, I made her a romantic dinner and bought her a ring to say I'm sorry and take me back. It didn't work, she said no. From then on I kept bothering her and calling her or texting or emailing her about how much I love her. I never gave her the space she needed. She went away to college (about a 2 hour drive away) on August 15th. About 3 weeks later I found out she had a new boyfriend who lives in the same town as a I do. I though to myself, "What!!!!???" How can this be? Don't forget I never gave her the space that she needed. As of a week ago I agreed to leave her alone. So, I mean is this a rebound guy or did she get over me that fast? I want her back really bad, what should I do?

You're young. Move on and find someone available and more intuned to you and your needs. Rebound guy or not... she's movin' onward. You should too...

She wants more than you can give.
To many women especially when they are young, not mature enough, LOVE MEANS BE LOVED.
That's not fair for men. Give her sometime and meanwhile enjoy the fun stuff you do, love will come along.:)

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

She wants more than you can give.
To many women especially when they are young, not mature enough, LOVE MEANS BE LOVED.
That's not fair for men. Give her sometime and meanwhile enjoy the fun stuff you do, love will come along.:)

Ok what are you suggesting? What do you mean giver her sometime? Will she come back?

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As of a week ago I agreed to leave her alone.

I think you take the lessons learned here and move on, and don't make the same mistakes again.

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So, I mean is this a rebound guy or did she get over me that fast?

As bad a you treated her there is no telling and it doesn't matter.

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I want her back really bad, what should I do?

Forget it. You acted to selfish and disrespectful, to deserve a second chance. No way!!

Sounds like she got over you that fast. I know I would have. Sorry to be so blunt but right now I think you need to work on yourself and seek some serious therapy to uncover whatever underlying issues cause you to be verbally and emotionally abusive to people. You're about as ready for a relationship as I am ready to compete in gymnastics in the next Olympics!

Hello.

He could be the rebound Guy but at this point it doesn't matter. You made a mistake and now your having to deal with it. This is life and we have to live with our mistakes, hope and pray that we can learn from them and not make them over and over. At this point there is no way of knowing if she will come back so take a step back and start your life over with what you have learned. I know she is the one in your mind right now but give it some time and you will find another Mrs. Right. In fact you will find a number Mrs. Rights before you have the ability to know who your real Mrs. Right is.

Dennis777

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

Sounds like she got over you that fast. I know I would have. Sorry to be so blunt but right now I think you need to work on yourself and seek some serious therapy to uncover whatever underlying issues cause you to be verbally and emotionally abusive to people. You're about as ready for a relationship as I am ready to compete in gymnastics in the next Olympics!

Haha its funny how everyone thinks they know me and situation.

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Originally Posted by crazyfighter96

I didnt realize how bad it hurt her until it was too late.

This happens to everyone! Now use what you've learned and move on. You ask "Did she get over me that quick?" You helped by pushing her further away. You said yourself you didn't give her the space she needs. Move on. Waiting for this girl is not going to serve you anything but heartache. Let her live her life, and you take what you've learned and live yours. This will help you in future relationship. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, DON'T RELIVE THEM!

Good luck!

Ok, Crazy - here's what I see 1-10:

1) He is a not really a rebound guy
2) He is a boyfriend guy
3) I am glad you were honest here. That shows you will do better next time.
4) I do not think you are going to get her back
5) I do think you will find another girl and you will have learned some lessons on how to be a good boyfriend.
6) Sometimes women WILL date a guy they don't love to get over another - but I don't think she seemed that in love - and she went to college 2 hours away.
7) hang in there
8) Find a new girl
9) IF the other girl is your soulmate, life will bring her back years down the road
10) Don't EVER be shocked by how fast a woman can move on if you give her the chance.

Peace

Well, why would you call her names? Did she do anything to make you that angry? I have never called any of my girlfriends names, even in the heat of the moment. I usually walk away.

So why did you call her names, and what did she do to make you mad?

Well I had plans to never call or bother her again because if she was interested in us again she would call me, I have accepted that she has moved on and there is nothing I can do except help myself and move on also. That is the healthy thing to do but part of me still thinks that maybe one day she will call and we could possibly work it out, and I know that's probably down the road more. I had always thought space would possibly bring her back but then my gut tells me nothing will change. I actually am in therapy once a week to help out my issues, I have been going for about 2 months now, ever since we broke up. My b-day is actually coming up on October 18, so I was going to see if she would call me, then see what happens, but if she doesn't call then that is that. I do think about her constantly and I hope she calls eventually.

You are more sensitive than she knew.

Your next GF will be the beneficiary...

Hang in there.

Its tough to hang in there when I constantly hear about her and her new b/f... they apparently love each other now, after 1 month. It seems no matter what I do, I still think about her, but at the same time I hate her for moving on so quickly and that helps me get through my days a little bit better. I really wonder if she ever thinks about me.

This is MANDATORY for you as a human being...
If this didn't happen now it would happen when you are 40.

Suffer now (several months)
AND
Be a better boyfriend later.

I understand what I have to do and I know it is better now than when I'm 30 or 40 or 50, but it is so hard. I mean she is having so much funn at school not thinking about me one bit, it sucks! I just miss her soooo much and I feel really really empty inside.

What do you do? You learn from your mistakes and move on. You mistreated her, she got a clue and a brain and left. Now she is with someone who treats her better.
Now you get a clue and a brain and get on with your life - without her.