:mad: K, mom found out we were dateing.. she has a right to be upset and worried and mad but he's been keeping me out of trouble, he makes me think.. more than usual.. and he has some of the HIGHEST standards I've ever heard of.. Im not allowed to see or talk to him until I move out.. mom said when I turn 18 I still can't see him.. she'll put him in jail.. and I'm torqued. Please don't comment saying I'm young and just don't know what I want, I know myself better than anyone and I'm 100% serious about this guy. What do I do?:confused:

O.K. I won't tell you he is too old for you, but he could go to jail for dating you if you do things best reserved for adults, if you know what I mean. Once you turn 18 though you are legally an adult and your mom cannot put him in jail at that time. Right now, it's a different story.
If he does have the "high standards" that you mention, he will keep the relationship proper, nothing wrong with having a friend much older than you, if you indeed keep the relationship as a good friendship. Anything more than that, and there will be trouble.

Where do you live?

Yeah... I can't give that accurate of legal advice if I have no idea what state or province you are in. That would be scary and irresponsible. Want to help though

I have had friends when I was around 15 that dated 21 22 23 yr old guys, I have to admit it was weird then, but I still know one couple that are amazing still. Kids... nice house loyalty. Ya just really never know.

If you love him, you will wait. If you don't you run the risk of him getting arrested for statutory rape and/or child molestation. Do you want him on a sex offenders list for the rest of his life?

I can understand that you may love him. I cannot understand what a grown man of 22 would want with a 10th grader, besides the obvious.

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Originally Posted by Greg Quinn

disagrees: She would have to admit having sex with him.

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I guess I was making a presumption. I'm sure his interest lies in her opinion of how Nietzsche influenced HL Mencken.

When me and my husband had net I had just turned 16 and he was turning 23. My mom could've put him in jail but didn't and then kicked me out 6 months later. We have been together ever since we have our own place and a baby! If you truly feel that way about him wait, but don't give up. Everyone thinks they just want to be with you for one thing but they haven't the slightest idea until they are in your shoes. Everyone knows a couple that have a gap in age between them!

Two things bother me about your post. First you say he's got such high standards. Well I hate to tell you this but any adult that would date a 15 year old does NOT have high standards. I doubt you will believe me, but I know what I'm saying is true. Second you say you know yourself better than anyone. I'm sure that is true, but at 15, you haven't had enough life experience to properly deal with a situation like this.

Some other things to wonder about is where you met and why you started dating and for how long this has been going on. I can perfectly understand a 15 yr old girl being thrilled by a 22 yr old guy's attention. But I can't understand what a 22 yr old guy, presumably a college senior or grad, would see in a 15 yr old girl (other than the physical attraction).

I know you don't want to hear this either, but you mom is doing the right thing because she loves you and is rightfully concerned about this situation.

If you truly love each other, then 3 years will not make a difference in that love. So wait until you are 18, more for his sake to keep him out of jail and off the sex offenders list.

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Originally Posted by jhmmr

When me and my husband had net I had just turned 16 and he was turning 23. my mom could've put him in jail but didn't and then kicked me out 6 months later. We have been together ever since we have our own place and a baby! If you truly feel that way about him wait, but don't give up. everyone thinks they just want to be with you for one thing but they haven't the slightest idea until they are in your shoes. Everyone knows a couple that have a gap in age between them!

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There is an age gap and then there is a age GAP. A 7 year gap is nothing when both parties are adults. But when one or both of them are minors, it IS a problem. Do they work sometimes, sure? But most of the time they don't. Most of the time, the adult is exploiting the minor.

The advice to wait but not give up is good.

However you don't say how old you are now or whether you are married or not. I wouldn't say you are one of the exceptions unless you are together for 10 or more years.

Hello Lacy:

This doesn't have anything to do with YOU. It has everything to do with your boyfriend. This is HIS life we're talking about here - not YOURS.

I'm sure you are old enough to make up your own mind, but the law doesn't agree with you. If your mom calls the cops, the cops aren't going to care that you love him and that you're very adult. Nope, they're going to throw his butt in the slam, keep him there a good long while, and them call him a sex offender for the rest of his life. Given that most towns are making laws that prevent sex offenders from living there, he's going to be a homeless sex offender.

So, if you love HIM, wait till you're not jail bait.

excon

I know you like him, but the poor guy will go to jail if you sleep with him. Law states that you are still a minor and can't make rational decisions. I think you can date him but you are not allowed to go beyond that.

If you love him carry on. If it is a 'mistake' its yours to make. Explane carmly to your mum she will have 2 learn to except it!! My m8s 16 next week 7months pregnant, her and her 22yr boyfriend are truly in love!GOOD LUCK

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Originally Posted by rowan16

if you love him carry on. If it is a 'mistake' its yours to make. Explane carmly to your mum she will have 2 learn to except it!! My m8s 16 next week 7months pregnant, her and her 22yr boyfriend are truly in love!GOOD LUCK

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It was too easy to give you a reddie, fish in a barrel comes to mind.

In a weird way it was good advice

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my m8s 16 next week 7months pregnant, her and her 22yr boyfriend are truly in love

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Says it all really 16 and pregnant!! I don't think there are many people, pregnant 16 year olds included who think this is a good idea. Good luck to her and all but if the OP has an ounce of sense she'll understand where I'm coming from. Wait a couple of years if he really is the one for you he'll wait as well.

Your mom has your best interest at heart and she is right, and no at 15 you don't have the slightest idea really what is best for you, you only think you do.

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Originally Posted by rowan16

if you love him carry on. if it is a 'mistake' its yours to make. explane carmly to your mum she will have 2 learn to exept it!!! my m8s 16 next week 7months pregnant, her and her 22yr boyfriend are truley in love!GOOD LUCK

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No its not just hers to make, that's part of what is wrong here. Your mate is lucky he's not in jail. And I really doubt if they are "truly in love". Few 16 year olds really know what true love is. And a 22 year old that thinks he's in love with a 16 year old, particularly one that has unprotected sex with that 16 yr old, is too immature to understand love as well.

But even if your mate and his girlfriend buck the odds and make it, they are the exception. Its irresponsible to advise a minor and an adult to carry on such a relationship.

Is everyone reading something here that I am missing?

Because I can't find where this person is from.

If she is anywhere in Canada for example, age of consent is 14. So her being 15 and him 22, is nothing illegal what so ever with it.

What should you DO?

You should WAIT until you can see this guy without having to sneak behind your mom's back. Obviously, if she "found out about it", you'd been lying to your mum. I'd be upset too!

That being said... there's no WAY my 15 year old would be dating a 22 year old. I have higher standards for my daughter than that. No matter how mature you are, you are at a completely different stage of life---let's put it this way: would you date a 10 year old? How about an 88 year old? No? Well, why not? Because you have nothing in common with them, right? It's gross because one is way too young, and the other way too old. Well... if you'd date a 22 year old, why would't you date a 30 year old? Age doesn't matter, right?

It does matter, and you know it. He's supposed to be trying to make his career, not trying to make it with a little girl (and if you can't see why I'm making this argument, you really ARE a little girl who needs to do some serious growing up before she should be dating).

YOU should be focusing on school and getting into college, not guys that are trying to get into your pants.

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Originally Posted by CaptainForest

Is everyone reading something here that I am missing?

Because I can’t find where this person is from.

If she is anywhere in Canada for example, age of consent is 14. So her being 15 and him 22, is nothing illegal what so ever with it.

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And that is why I'm waiting to get that info before I pipe in.

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Originally Posted by CaptainForest

Is everyone reading something here that I am missing?

Because I can’t find where this person is from.

If she is anywhere in Canada for example, age of consent is 14. So her being 15 and him 22, is nothing illegal what so ever with it.

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Is it that straightforward? In many places, (not just US states), even if the minor is above the age of consent, where there is a large gap in ages, it could still be illegal.