Got married in February I found out I was pregnant in March and My husband is now living with his mother because he says " he will never put nothing before her" She is "the most important thing, the only person who stood by him for 13 years that he was in prison" Our baby is due in November and he has no other children. He wants to name our baby after his mom and I'm not having it! We were happy and everything was great but when his mom saw that me and him were getting close and that his attention wasn't on her she started to step in the middle of our relationship by calling him out to her house late night and leaving me out of family discussions basically pushing me out. I know that she will try to get him to fight me for the baby (if not custody he will want visitation) and he will follow her every command. SHe has already filled his head with all kinds of crap. I just need help with what to do next. We have already been living separate since July 5th he hasn't gave me a single penny, he don't work, he's on probation, his mother doesn't have a stable income or place to live. They are living with his grandmother, Him his 52 yr old mom 32 yr old sister and 36 year old brother, my husband is 30! What do I do?

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Originally Posted by moenanie

Got married in February I found out I was pregnant in March and My husband is now living with his mother because he says " he will never put nothing before her" She is "the most important thing, the only person who stood by him for 13 years that he was in prison" Our baby is due in November and he has no other children. He wants to name our baby after his mom and I'm not having it! We were happy and everything was great but when his mom saw that me and him were getting close and that his attention wasn't on her she started to step in the middle of our relationship by calling him out to her house late nite and leaving me out of family discussions basically pushing me out. I know that she will try to get him to fight me for the baby (if not custody he will want visitation) and he will follow her every command. SHe has already filled his head with all kinds of crap. I just need help with what to do next. We have already been living seperate since July 5th he hasnt gave me a single penny, he dont work, he's on probation, his mother doesn't have a stable income or place to live. They are living with his grandmother, Him his 52 yr old mom 32 yr old sister and 36 year old brother, my husband is 30! What do I do?

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You have nothing to worry about. Yes, the father does have the write to see the child per law. You may want to contact an attorney and get the papers started for custody and child support. No judge will give an infant (newborn) to their father. Especially if he doesn't have a stable living condition. They will look at his track record and realize the child's mother is the best place for the baby.
As far as the father doing everything his mother says, he's a mama's boy and sounds like he always will be. You need to take action now for you baby's safety. As long as you have a stable living environment and stable income, you will most likely have full custody of the baby. As far as the naming of the baby, you name him/her what you want. Now, if you were raising this child together and he had a huge part to do with the baby, then you two would need to come to a compromise on the naming of the child.
Good Luck!

You cannot do anything for your husband. He has "made his bed" so to speak, so let that go and let him go. Your focus now is on yourself and your unborn child. It would be good idea for you to contact an attorney with this and get some plans made. Nothing can be done, legally, about custody until the baby is born. But you can have a plan of action.

I would ask that, if you have not already started, to start documenting everything. From what your husband says, to his family members, phone calls, mail, promises made, promises broken, lack of financial support, any threats made to you about the baby, etc. Dates and times and events. That will look for good for you when the time comes and very bad for him.

I don't believe you owe your husband the right to name your baby. He is not around, not helping, not contributing, etc. You can name that child any name you wish. I was going to say, if he ever says he is coming over, make sure you have someone else in the home with you. For a witness and for protection.

Let me see he puts moma ahead of everything, and is a ex felon who served 13 years. Yep a prime catch there, you are the one who married him, I have to wonder why, what you though was so great when you said I DO,?

Anyway, you can do nothing before child is born, you will need to file for divorce and for custody of the child. So an attorney is first on your list.

He does have a right to ask for custody, but normally the mother gets it.
He will get vistitation so just expect that. You will put in for child support.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Let me see he puts moma ahead of everything, and is a ex felon who served 13 years. Yep a prime catch there, you are the one who married him, I have to wonder why, what you though was so great when you said I DO, ??

Anyway, you can do nothing before child is born, you will need to file for divorce and for custody of the child. So an attorney is first on your list.

He does have a right to ask for custody, but normally the mother gets it.
He will get vistitation so just expect that. You will put in for child support.

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I've known him since I was 6, therefore I had no reason to think he would treat me like this. He always treated me like a diamond, I had two other children while he was in prison and he was accepting and loving of them. And they adore him. He got out and got a job and was working and helping me, we spent time together with the kids, we were a family. It's just that his mother is sooooo selfish. She didn't like him with me because I was his no.1 and she hated being second to me. She has tricked him with all her little games into feeling like he owes her for all the years she was there for him. When his mom moved to the town we were in and up the street from us that's when all the drama started. SHe would call him to stay over late nites and tell him that her heart was hurting or that she was sick. It was just ridiculous. Then we (I) were paying all the bills at the house she had moved to. I just finally had enough, and by the time I spoke to him about it he said I was just talking about his family and that I just didn't like them and that I thought I was better than them.

You cannot trick someone who does not want to be tricked. Your husband is a "mama's boy." Why feel sorry for him or make excuses for his behavior? You have enough on your own plate right now.

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Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

You cannot trick someone who does not want to be tricked. Your husband is a "mama's boy." Why feel sorry for him or make excuses for his behavior? You have enough on your own plate right now.

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ABSOLUTELY!! I agree, but it has got to the point where he is doing everything she says. She had some kind of heart surgery last year and she uses that to keep him close to her. As for feeling sorry for him, well I do, because when his mom is gone it will be too late to have experienced all of what it is to become a father. He hasn't even felt the baby kick. He has however until this point been at the appoointments but only cause I tracted him down with the date and time. Its getting old and I just want to be out but I have to make sure I take every step legally, correctly, and in order. Because one slip and I know his mother will use anything to take the baby. She did it to his other brothers baby's mom, they went to her moms house (gr-ma) when she (mom) wasn't there and took the baby (4yr old) and the mom couldn't do anything because neither one of them (mom or dad) had custody but they were never married either. So I guess it was legal for them to do that. The baby's mom had to order a emergency pick-up order claiming that he and his mom had threatened to take the baby to mexico in order to get her back. Now they are fighting in court for custody, and I mean they actually drive by to take pictures of the little girl outside playing without shoes. They ask the little girl all kinds of questions about her mommy and stuff. They are evil - I just want to be out of it.

Once a mama's boy, always a mama's boy. Time to get a good attorney.

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Originally Posted by moenanie

Got married in February I found out I was pregnant in March and My husband is now living with his mother because he says " he will never put nothing before her" She is "the most important thing, the only person who stood by him for 13 years that he was in prison" Our baby is due in November and he has no other children. He wants to name our baby after his mom and I'm not having it! We were happy and everything was great but when his mom saw that me and him were getting close and that his attention wasn't on her she started to step in the middle of our relationship by calling him out to her house late nite and leaving me out of family discussions basically pushing me out. I know that she will try to get him to fight me for the baby (if not custody he will want visitation) and he will follow her every command. SHe has already filled his head with all kinds of crap. I just need help with what to do next. We have already been living seperate since July 5th he hasnt gave me a single penny, he dont work, he's on probation, his mother doesn't have a stable income or place to live. They are living with his grandmother, Him his 52 yr old mom 32 yr old sister and 36 year old brother, my husband is 30! What do I do?

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I suggest with assistance of an attorney you consider only supervised visitation which can occur in a variety of ways. Especially at the newborn and early years. Also, he is likely blowing smoke and given his track record he probably will be back in prison soon and won't be visiting anyone least of all your baby. Name the baby what you want to name him and don't feel one bit of "remorse" in doing this. I am pretty sure that the last thing the court will ever do is allow him any form of custody including joint. You don't want to allow him any custody "right" via court.

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Originally Posted by moenanie

Got married in February I found out I was pregnant in March and My husband is now living with his mother because he says " he will never put nothing before her" She is "the most important thing, the only person who stood by him for 13 years that he was in prison" Our baby is due in November and he has no other children. He wants to name our baby after his mom and I'm not having it! We were happy and everything was great but when his mom saw that me and him were getting close and that his attention wasn't on her she started to step in the middle of our relationship by calling him out to her house late nite and leaving me out of family discussions basically pushing me out. I know that she will try to get him to fight me for the baby (if not custody he will want visitation) and he will follow her every command. SHe has already filled his head with all kinds of crap. I just need help with what to do next. We have already been living seperate since July 5th he hasnt gave me a single penny, he dont work, he's on probation, his mother doesn't have a stable income or place to live. They are living with his grandmother, Him his 52 yr old mom 32 yr old sister and 36 year old brother, my husband is 30! What do I do?

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Tell him you cheated and get a devorice before the baby is born hurry trust me I seen my friend go though some crap the husband got custdy it was bad and just because they where married.