I was working in the same company were my Bf is the co-owner we're leaving together for almost 9 months. He's a hot and attractive guy I can tell that because a lot of our employee has a crush on him. One of the employee really likes him to the point that she was offering her body towards him. This girl was my friend before but when somebody told me that she was spreading gossip that my Bf likes her I stop talking to her and told her to back off. I really don't know what's the real score between them, when I asked my guy if he likes the girl he said NO and I'm the greatest girl for him! Until one weekend he went out for a drink with this girl and other employee's. He went home really drunk and suddenly he cried out. He confessed what he did in the bar. He said when he went to the comfort room to pee the girl followed him and insisted to give him head because he was so drunk he can't control his self and he let the girl to go down on him. According to him he didn't finished because he suddenly remember me so she stop the girl. This girl was the reason why we almost break up before because I found out that they were exchanging text, he put the girls name under a friend name to hide it from me and he's kind of attracted to her. He asked for second chance that he'll not going to do it again, that time he was crying and I seen the guilt feelings while he was saying sorry. But he was drunk when he confessed it. When he was sober he explained everything to me he say he was honest now and can't hide, It just so happened because he was so drunk and the girl initiated the move. It was so painful when I heard it. Its like I was broken and teared because he cheated on me.
I want to kick the girl because she's really a dirty slut. I need an advise what to do with the girl that until now is still working in the company. To my Bf that I know I love him and I can forgive him but the problem now is I can't trust him, I don't have peace of mind. I'm afraid that he might able to it again.

Remember it takes two to tango. You can't blame her and let him off the hook. That is not fair to either party. Will he do it again... probably. He may say he loves you and he may really care about you, but something in his mind validated his actions. Not to mention the fact that he was hiding the text messages. Time to get a new friend, BF, and maybe even a new job. Life is too short for this much drama. Good luck.

Don't defecate in your own yard.


In other words, don't mess around with people you work with, ever.

I would disappear from both of them. YOU are too young to be caught up in that tangled wb. YOu said she is a dirty slut right? Well now he has her cooties too. STD's can be spread through the mouth too you know.. MAybe he is sorry, maybe he did make a mistake and regret it. BUT if he gets drunk again, what's to say he won't give in to temptation again. I have been so drunk off my a$$ I could barely see, but I never did anything I didn't want to. So, either way, he wanted it whether she initiated it or not. NOt to say they will be boyfriend and girlfriend, but if she puts out, he will probably never say no! I hope the best for you, you deserve way better. IT may feel like 9 months is a long time to give it up, but better you get out now before you two end up married with kids, and he still does this type of crap on the down low!

It all depends on if you can forgive or not. Just take care of yourself.

FORGIVE for yourself to move on, but NEVER forget what he did!

I don't know, I don't believe for a second she walked into the guys bathroom in hopes of doing that with him without getting some hint he wanted it too.

I also don't believe he didn't let her finish. He's obviously attracted to her and will probably end up going farther with her next time.

I think he said that to make it seem not so bad. WHAT guy stops right before they? NOT MANY I PRESUME, because at that point it feels too good to care. MAybe after he came he thought about her but just told her otherwise so she wouldn't feel as horrible. Either way a blow job is a blow job, regardless if he cums, or NOT. But I too think that is a crock of bullsh!t he is feeding her! I hope she can get away from him and find someone better...

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Originally Posted by shatteredsoul

I would disappear from both of them. YOU are too young to be caught up in that tangled wb. YOu said she is a dirty slut right? Well now he has her cooties too. STD's can be spread through the mouth too ya know.. MAybe he is sorry, maybe he did make a mistake and regret it. BUT if he gets drunk again, what's to say he won't give in to temptation again. I have been so drunk off my a$$ I could barely see, but I never did anything I didn't want to. So, either way, he wanted it whether she initiated it or not. NOt to say they will be boyfriend and girlfriend, but if she puts out, he will probably never say no! I hope the best for you, you deserve way better. IT may feel like 9 months is a long time to give it up, but better you get out now before you two end up married with kids, and he still does this type of crap on the down low!!

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http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_32_7.gif shatteredsoul Have to 'spread it' again girlfriend! Nine months is nothing compared to a lifetime.

hot2hndle (curious username).. I'm sure that you know what should be done - and believe me, getting rid of this girl, either in his life or at the workplace is not the answer.
It's not like tearing out a page in a book because you did not like what you read. The only one you have control over in this is YOU. Do you want to stay with him - always doubting, always being stressed and jealous and insecure. Or, dealing with a clean break-up, healing, growth, maturity and self-respect. Take a realistic look at your options and make your choice.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifThe holiday seasonis coming up. Do you want to enjoy the holidays or be miserable?

These faces are so friggin adorable MON CHERY!! YES, you hit the nail on the head. Either get rid of him, or stay and deal with everything she just mentioned and MORE!!

HE may be hot, but it ain't worth your integrity girl!!

I don't see his business would go much further.

When you are at work , all you think should be how to build this business/company, how to be the best team player. I am afraid that none of you guys at work is PROFESSIONAL. I just feel sorry because of the business will decline if you guys keep playing games like kids!

I told my guy that I tried to clean his sh*t and that's the least that I can do. The girl doesn't want to resign, he can't even terminate the girl because she's doing good and he doesn't have any reason to terminate her. To think she was under probationary status. My boyfriend said that if he's going to terminate her he might look stupid. He wants me to bear with him. I'm confused now.. should I break up with him or stay.

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Originally Posted by Gregisteredtrademark

Remember it takes two to tango. You can't blame her and let him off the hook. That is not fair to either party. Will he do it again... probably. He may say he loves you and he may really care about you, but something in his mind validated his actions. Not to mention the fact that he was hiding the text messages. Time to get a new friend, BF, and maybe even a new job. Life is too short for this much drama. Good luck.

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He admitted that he was weak and can't do anything about it. I can't leave him because I love him. Should I cut my losses? He can't terminate the girl because he doesn't have enough reason.

Let that M*ther er GO!! He is feeding you a line of BS he can get rid of her because it is an inappropriate relationship in a business atmosphere! IS he afraid she will sue him? She is too young to think like that. He just still wants her around, do you really want to compete with her for his attention. I think you don't want him to have her, but if you ditch him, maybe he will wake up! Maybe not, but I wouldn't stick around to find out... Good luck. I hope you realize what is going on before you waste any more of your precious, YOUTH, TIME and life on HIM!!

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Originally Posted by misterk

it all depends on if you can forgive or not. just take care of yourself.

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He wants me to pretend that it never happened. Its hard to deal with it.

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Originally Posted by hot2hndle

He wants me to pretend that it never happened. Its hard to deal with it.

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I bet he says that the next time it happens. You can do better.

And if I told you the number of times I've seen this sort of thing when people fool around with other people they work with you wouldn't believe me. This only reinforces my stance of not messing around with people you work with, EVER.

Of course he wants you to act like it never happened, its so much easier for him to deal with the whole situation if you pretend it didn't happen. I highly doubt that this is the first, or the last time that this will happen. Usually, a woman won't put herself out there like that, unless she has reason to believe that he might not turn her down, drunk or not. If you can not control yourself while drunk, you shouldn't get drunk. End of the line. Because if it isn't her he ends up with, it will be someone else. Drinking can not ever be an excuse, because even though your actions are blurred while drunk, they aren't blurred BEFORE you get drunk. If you don't have the sense to stay out of situations that will put you in the path of harm and bad decisions, then you are just asking for problems. Firing the girl shouldn't even be seen as an answer here. Whether she worked there or not, it would still be an issue. You may love him, but he doesn't love you. If he did, he would not put you through this. I don't care what excuse you or he makes, its not love. Everyone gets temptations now and then. But it is up to YOU to steer clear of those temptations, to get rid of them the moment they come, because if you love someone, you will not let that temptation near enough to do the damage it will inevitably do. And if it were love he certainly wouldn't keep making these mistakes. The fact that he had her name in the phone, and DISGUISED it to look like a friend shows that he is well aware of what he is doing, that it is wrong, but he doesn't care. He just doesn't want to get caught. Its time for you to wise up, and kick his butt to the curb. If you do not demand more respect, and better relationships for yourself, you won't get one. Ever. You get what you ask for. So start asking for more... start demanding more.

HE didn't mess up. THEY messed up.

This is not fixable... I do not see enough of a foundation for you to torture yourself further. IFFFF you have the guts to move on, in 6 months you will find that another guy is out there that isn't a drunk or a cheater, and doesn't work with you - and that would be nice, huh?

Hang in there.

Both of them are messed up. Lose them both.