Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   Can I make my pregnant girlfriend happy? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=127841)

  • Sep 10, 2007, 05:46 AM
    Jus10
    Can I make my pregnant girlfriend happy?
    Hey,


    My girlfriend and I are about 11 weeks pregnant we are both excited and want the baby but she is always tired and sick and kind of depressed some times. I love her with all my heart and I tell her that every chance I get I also tell her how beautiful she is and she responds with " No Im fat or something along those lines. What else can I do to make her feel good about her self and appearance. Also what kind of activities can we do together out side of the house?

    Please help and thank you for reading.
  • Sep 10, 2007, 06:25 AM
    buggage
    Just be there for her. As women, it is pretty rare that we are ever happy about the way we look, ESPECIALLY when we are pregnant. Those first several months are sometimes the hardest, as you gain weight, yet don't really LOOk pregnant yet, and this leaves you feeling simply fat. The hormones are raging. Sometimes she'll cry, sometimes she's be angry, sometimes just sad, and sometimes deliriously happy, and this can change at the drop of a dime. And often times she won't even know what causes her to be sad, or angry, which is even more frustrating(to both of you) Be there for her, try to be understanding,don't take everything she may say or do to heart, because most likely its just the hormones. Not to say you shouldn't listen to her, or take her seriously, just try not to take offence, or be annoyed. Often times pregnancy/new motherhood brings about feelings of great uncertainty(esp if this is your first child) the prospect that you are growing a child in your womb, and that child depends entirely on you for their very life and well being, fearing whether you are doing everything right for that child's well being. The prospect of labor is very daunting as well. And whether you will be good parents, on and on the list goes. These thoughts constantly race through your mind. Add the fact that you have to completely change your views on your diet (allowing yourself to gain weight, whereas most women are concentrated on keeping the weight off, before pregnancy) Fears of whether your man will think you are still attractive with this bowling ball hanging on the front of your stomach, or worse, after you've giving birth, and the bowling ball is gone, but the weight and stretch marks etc aren't... yea, its all frustrating haha. Just make sure you show her that you are there for her, that you still are deeply in love with her, despite her mood swings and change in appearance. Most men actually find pregnancy to be very appealing and sexy, if you are one of these men, let her know every day. Sit down and talk with her about her hopes, and fears and share yours as well. Support and love are the greatest gifts for her at this point. Take walks with her. Not only will this help keep her in shape, but it is a great opportunity to talk, and simply share and enjoy eachother's company.
  • Sep 10, 2007, 06:32 AM
    templelane
    I have given this some thought and here are my ideas I don't know your financial situation or where you live so I'm going to suggest a range of things.

    For her appearance
    Treat her to getting her hair done at a nice salon, the type that completely fusses over you
    A spa day
    Treat her to a massage by you, get some oils and read a book/website on what to do
    Relaxing bath - candles scented bath oil, nice music
    But her pretty accessories for no reason like a new bag or shoes, don't get clothes because she'll probably get sad if her baby bump stops her wearing them.

    Things to do together
    Go to a place of natural beauty near where you live, a lake, forest, seaside. Have a picnic/ borrow a dog.
    Go to the theatre/ cinema/ opera, plan a whole night out starting with dinner.
    Go to a science/history museum or an art gallery (these are free where I live, maybe they are for you too)
    Go on a day trip to the city if you live in the country the country if you live in the city.
    Take a course together such as a language/ painting
    Go out for lunch in a quiet café


    Random things
    Get her some bright flowers for no reason
    Leave love notes in her bag/ by her shoes etc so she finds them when you are out
    Make a special dinner which you know is her favourite but you usually don't have because it is complicated/ hard to find/ usually too expensive

    Good luck you sound like a nice man :)
  • Mar 18, 2012, 02:53 PM
    craig23fenn
    I am kind of in the same situation, we have had some rows about silly little things, I do what my partner tells me, and when I do it her way I'm still in the wrong and it causes another row. Were both madly in love and will never leave each other, just hard with the hormone changes and the random mood swings. Time aparts really good but not too much as you don't eant to give the impression your not interested any more. Confidence and words mean a lot to some people if your slacking in things to do ad she's sleepy or finances are tight. Try and make every day different and exciting so the sparks still.alive. Surprise her and with me it does get noticed a lot from the past but planning future things to do is now difficult as she is sleepy from work and the growing baby so focus at the bedroom. Ive got a few films and snuggle up tonight with her. She's had a long day with her best friends, seen he mum and now falling asleep with her fella will hopefully make her night end beautifully. Be a romantic and don't get hot headed as I take things to heart a lot, and. Very emotional bloke. Prob worse than a woman sometimes.lol good luck.an hope my tips and advice work for you.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:54 AM.