Originally Posted by Alissa925
First of all, I'm 19 5'5 200 pds. I'm ugly, and mean. I hate everything I do to everybody. I make fun of things in other people, but I notice all these traits in myself. I'm insanely jealous, and self-absorbed. I just despise myself in every way. I feel like what I'm saying is so cliche, but I've never felt so disgusted as when I look in the mirror each day. I don't understand why I have friends, even the few that I have. I just think they haven't discovered how horrible and revolting I am. I am so selfish, as I have nothing wrong in my life. I go to school full-time and work 40 hours a week. I live at home for the moment and I have all these dreams and aspirations, but can't seem to ever get anywhere. Sometimes I just want everything to go away, so I can start over. I brag about things to make myself look better, but in reality I have no right to judge anyone, only myself. I need to know what to do, I dont want to hurt anyone around me. I don't want to do anything stupid. I don't do what teenagers do. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I don't do stupid things like drive drunk. I'm just an emotional wreck. I dont know what to do anymore. I am so embarrassed. =( :(
