Ask Me Help Desk - Need to Pleasure Her Sexually

Hello. I usually post under a different name but don't want my girlfriend to see this, so I made a new account. Sorry.

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly a year and we're both young adults. Some time ago, we started being sexual with each other (very safe and protected sex). I lost my virginity to her, but she has had relationships before. I know that her previous boyfriend watched pornographic videos, and though it is not like she likes them, she does not terribly mind them. I, however, do not like the images of porn and how it hurts women. Sorry, let me get to my point.

I cannot seem to please her sexually. She is very nice and understanding, and she knows where I am coming from and how I feel, but I just can't do enough, it seems. She wants me to be more creative, not as boring, rougher at times, etc. Lacking experience - but direct and non-direct experience - I am not sure what to do.

I have been reading text, especially Web sites, to help, but they don't seem to be very helpful. I kind of need to see, I guess, or have hands on experience to learn. Because, sure, I learn techniques and such, but once I'm with her, I can't seem to do the things I learned correctly. Lately, things have gotten worse, and I may start to turn to videos for help.

Any thoughts or advice? Thank you very much.

All right ask her what works for her,what turns her on, ask her what's her favorite position, ask her what she like done to her sexually. You can do a lot of things involving intercourse before thee actual intercourse.most woman don't orgasm with vaginal thursting but with the cliterious area.as far as the porno movies concearned there is all different type of porn movies and there maybe some out there where the two of you can watch together.

How old are you, please?

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolbrezzeb

Alright ask her what works for her,what turns her on, ask her whats her favorite position, ask her what she like done to her sexually. you can do a lot of things involving intercourse before thee actual intercourse.most woman dont orgasim with vaginal thursting but with the cliterious area.as far as the porno movies concearned there is all different type of porn movies and there maybe some out there where the two of u can watch together.

Thank you for replying. I know what she wants, but not exactly specifically. She wants me to be creative, I guess, and it would be pretty boring if I just did the things she told me to. Are there any "instructional videos" that I could watch? Probably not exactly that but something similar (hopefully not hardcore porn)?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

How old are you, please?

Hello Synnen. I'd rather not post my exact age, but I'm over 20 years old. Send me a private message if you'd like me to confirm this.

Thank you.

Hello.

She knows what she wants so let her teach you. Be honest about wanting to make her happy not only sexually but in all ways. Im sure she will teach you if you ask her to. If she wants things sexually that you don't feel is right then it's time to move on. If she has a hard core kinky side then it will only get worse not better in what she wants from you.

Dennis777

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello.

She knows what she wants so let her teach you. Be honest about wanting to make her happy not only sexually but in all ways. Im sure she will teach you if you ask her to. If she wants things sexually that you don't feel is right then it's time to move on. If she has a hard core kinky side then it will only get worse not better in what she wants from you.

Dennis777

Oh no, it's nothing out of the ordinary or illegal or even kinky at all. I have just never... cared for sexual things so am very inexperienced, I guess.

We have tried phone sex, as we're apart from each other from time to time (we work and go to school far apart), and even then I'm often at a loss of what to say.

Sorry, I don't really know how to explain it. Before I met her, I didn't even know what the most basic parts of a female body was, and didn't know what my own body could do and how certain things would feel like.

It's fine. I thought this forum could be of some help, and although I really appreciate the replies, this may not be the best place for this kind of help. Thanks.

Just making sure you were over 18!

Okay... for clarification--is the problem creativity? Or mechanics? Or both?

If the problem is creativity--try reading a romance novel. I recommend something Regency, maybe with pirates in it. Yes, I am being serious. I honestly think that every guy should read at least 3 romances in his life, if for no other reason than to see where women get their ideas ;) Honestly, I've felt for a long time that a romance novel is the female equivalent of porn, regardless of how much or little it actually describes the sex acts within.

If the problem is mechanics--you're going to have to work with her. I'm sure she's just a little frustrated having ot TELL you EVERY time--but really, that's kind of HER problem here. How in the world are you supposed to know if she doesn't tell you? She knows her body better than you do! (or should, anyway).

I think this might come back to women expecting men to read their minds!

I completely agree with the others. She needs to tell and show you what she likes. Surely she can't expect you to know exactly what pleases her. I mean almost every female on here could tell you what 'sends them to the moon', but then you would be really confused because every response would be different. Next time you two are in the moment, just ask her what she wants you to do, eventually you will find out what she likes and what she doesn't.

While I think you should be talking to each other to get an idea what she may like, experimenting and paying attention to her reactions, can bring you both some unexpectant pleasure. The best way to know a woman, and her body is to explore it.

All women are different. You aren't going to learn more than positions and some techniques on videos. But putting it in practice is another thing. Just have her guide you when you go down on her or finger her. LISTEN TO HER. Do that and in time you will be able to drive her crazy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

Just making sure you were over 18!

okay...for clarification--is the problem creativity? or mechanics? or both?

If the problem is creativity--try reading a romance novel. I recommend something Regency, maybe with pirates in it. Yes, I am being serious. I honestly think that every guy should read at least 3 romances in his life, if for no other reason than to see where women get their ideas ;) Honestly, I've felt for a long time that a romance novel is the female equivalent of porn, regardless of how much or little it actually describes the sex acts within.

If the problem is mechanics--you're going to have to work with her. I'm sure she's just a little frustrated having ot TELL you EVERY time--but really, that's kind of HER problem here. How in the world are you supposed to know if she doesn't tell you? She knows her body better than you do! (or should, anyway).

I think this might come back to women expecting men to read their minds!

Seems like I'm setting her up to be blamed, when she's a really great person, in all honesty and ways. She's not expecting me to read her mind or anything, and she has been anything but impatient with me. I have read mystery with romance novels by the dozens and such, but I need more specifics, I guess. I don't know what to do when it comes down to the more literal actions.

I feel so inadequate and inexperienced that I get annoyed by myself. Sometimes it feels like I should have been watching porn movies in high school and college when my friends were. She's been so nice about it, but I feel like I don't know anything. I'm a pretty fast learner, but when it comes to sex, I don't know what to do. For example, she had to tell me that to stimulate her, I have to touch her clitoris. That wasn't enough information for me, so I had to ask her how so. And it took me weeks before really knew what I had to do. I don't think of myself as an unintelligent person, but for some reason, this entire thing has me puzzled.

I have never been a very sexual person and I don't really get... horny. To be honest, before I met her, I didn't even know I could be erect like I can actually be (just assumed the nocturnal erections was the most it can grow).

Sorry, I'm really venting now more than looking for answers. Thank you for listening and helping, everyone. I really, really appreciate it.

Have you tried watching porn together??