The situation in a nut shell.

I have been friends with a woman for a long time and want feedback on whether it is possible to go from just friends to more. I have my doubts but other opinions and perspectives are always good.

Wildcat21, your input would be particularly welcome. In fact, is it OK to private email you the full details of the situation? Be warned though, there is a *lot* of background and the situation is far from simple.

Cheers

I know you might prefer a reply from a guy. But until one comes along you got me. ;)

"From a man. Is it possible to go from friends to more?"

Yes it is possible but if it doesn't work out it might be very difficult to get back the friendship you had.

Don't rush into this. Look for some sign that she might want it too.

Yes it is possible and in my opinion really great relationships are built on a solid friendship. But each situation is different. Do you see anything to suggest that she may have similar feelings towards you?

I agree with bluerose. Don't rush. Just take it slow and drop some subtle hints. You will be able to gauge her responses to see if it is worth pursuing further and risk losing the friendship.

And Wildcat21 isn't around anymore but never mind you will got lots of good advice from good people who aren't interested in game playing and tactics.

Thanks bluerose and Skell.

I agree that slow is best especially since we've known each other for almost 20 years and losing that is too much. I hide things *very* well (for almost 9 years now) and she has no idea how I feel.

Also, she doesn't handle this sort of thing very well so tact will be essential.

Cheers

Its possible if done with great care and MUTUAl feelings, but the friendship will be changed forever. Its hard to go back to what was, after romance and sex (or the thoughts of) have been introduced into the relationship. Go very slow, with more than a great deal of tact.

20 years is a long time and it may seem very strange to her after all this time that you now try to instigate something more.

Good luck!