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-   -   Does having sex for the first time hurt? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=127142)

  • Sep 8, 2007, 02:02 AM
    quesuponques
    Does having sex for the first time hurt?
    - - -> Does having sex for the first time hurt? I'm so terrified that'll it will hurt that I've managed to keep my boyfriend off me for the time being, I'm just wondering if someone could describe the amount of pain a women goes through? No detail's lol I'm just terrified and would like to know. Any answers would help!
  • Sep 8, 2007, 03:52 AM
    MayMsredrose
    Well... how old are you?? Why do not you stay virgin and have sexual relationship without intercourse and losing your virginity till you are sure that you are losing it for the right guy?? Do not do it if you are not convinced and just to please your boyfriend... Well am still virgin... but I heard lots of stories, but what I know it differs from one girl to another depends on her hymen and her partner too...

    Ms. Redrose.


    Quote:

    Originally Posted by quesuponques
    - - -> Does having sex for the first time hurt? I'm so terrified that'll it will hurt that i've managed to keep my boyfriend off of me for the time being, i'm just wondering if someone could describe the amount of pain a women goes through? no detail's lol i'm just terrified and would like to know. any answers would help!

  • Sep 8, 2007, 04:27 AM
    MOWERMAN2468
    Well, why not wait until you are married? Your body will be more mature at that time, and you will be both more physically and emotionally ready at a later date.
  • Sep 8, 2007, 07:58 AM
    Synnen
    I don't quite understand why people push waiting until marriage for sex.

    Seriously... sex is important enough that I'd think you'd want to make sure you're sexually compatible with someone before committing to them for life--because if you're NOT sexually compatible, there could be serious issues with your marriage.

    That being said... I repeat the question someone else has already asked--how old are you?
  • Sep 8, 2007, 08:51 AM
    Treeny
    Loving and trusting being comfortable with your partner helps.
    If you are tense and scared it can be more uncomfotable.
    Just be sure your ready for the right reasons.
    Remember once you lose your virginity you can never get it back.
  • Sep 8, 2007, 09:35 AM
    Greg Quinn
    LOL... Marriage? If you are under 15 your body may have problems adjusting to having a penis inside you. Most females have not developed completely when they are 13 14 and when it reaches a point I'm sure it could hurt a lot. It matters what his size is and your pain tolerance, and if your boyfriend can be slow and gentle it may make a world of difference. Lubes also help but can also cause problems because they can slide it in easy, but if it reaches a point that is too sensitive it will hurt a lot and you won't see it coming because of the lubricant. Some girls are able to do it with out pain for their first time and it really is based on the individual. I hope you are using protection when you choose to do it because I have seen so many girls on here that are pregnant and wish to a god that they weren't.
  • Sep 8, 2007, 12:33 PM
    MOWERMAN2468
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Greg Quinn
    LOL.... Marriage? If you are under 15 your body may have problems adjusting to having a penis inside you. Most females have not developed completely when they are 13 14 and when it reaches a point I'm sure it could hurt a lot. It matters what his size is and your pain tolerance, and if your bf can be slow and gentle it may make a world of difference. Lubes also help but can also cause problems because they can slide it in easy, but if it reaches a point that is too sensitive it will hurt a lot and you won't see it coming because of the lubricant. Some girls are able to do it with out pain for their first time and it really is based on the individual. I hope you are using protection when you choose to do it because I have seen so many girls on here that are pregnant and wish to a god that they weren't.

    Hey greg, why not pert near draw a picture. Toooo much info. I think. If she is 13,14,or15 she is way tooooooooo young for this type of relationship and should concentrate on schooling and college, then a career being started , then a serious relationship.
  • Sep 9, 2007, 01:57 AM
    quesuponques
    I'm 19, for all who wanted to know, I know not to have sex with just anyone but my boyfriend I'm with has wanted it for sometime, and we've dated for just over a yr.
  • Sep 9, 2007, 02:01 AM
    MayMsredrose
    Still you need to re think about it why should you go for it?? Can not you wait... Whta if he is not mr. right for you...

    Ms. Redrose

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by quesuponques
    I'm 19, for all who wanted to know, i know not to have sex with just anyone but my boyfriend i'm with has wanted it for sometime, and we've dated for just over a yr.

  • Sep 9, 2007, 02:05 AM
    quesuponques
    He's mr. right! And we're both ready I'm just scared.
  • Sep 9, 2007, 09:15 AM
    Synnen
    Honey... I didn't really notice any pain the first time I had sex.

    Relax and enjoy it. Don't force it! And don't let yourself be coerced into it, either. Don't try to FIND that moment... If you just let it happen, and relax, it probably will hurt less than that little pinprick at the doctor's when you give blood.

    That being said--there are a lot of factors we don't know about. But--if you make sure you're aroused, and are mentally and emotionally ready for it--it shouldn't hurt. I have heard very few stories where women had an extremely painful first time.
  • Sep 15, 2007, 11:12 PM
    snotbubble
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MayMsredrose
    Still you need to re think aboutit why should you go for it??? Can not you wait ...Whta if he is not mr. right for you...

    Ms. Redrose

    Yeah, but ONLY DO IT IF YOU WANT TO!

    And if you've been fingered and have worn tampons, your hymen is probably already gone. I lost my virginity (wished I could have waited longer) when I was 19 too and I thought it would hurt. It hardly hurt at all, but I'm certain my hymen was already lost from the use of tampons.
  • Sep 16, 2007, 11:14 AM
    sovaira
    It varies
    But it really pains in girls mostly... am this way too
    It really really hurts.
  • Sep 17, 2007, 10:57 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by quesuponques
    - - -> Does having sex for the first time hurt? I'm so terrified that'll it will hurt that i've managed to keep my boyfriend off of me for the time being, i'm just wondering if someone could describe the amount of pain a women goes through? no detail's lol i'm just terrified and would like to know. any answers would help!

    That all depends on the woman, also how well the man is endowed and just how patiend they are to warm up to the act.

    Some women will experience pain, some will have little or none. But jump into it too quickly then yeah, pain is likely.
  • Sep 26, 2007, 08:51 AM
    KBC
    Pay attn to that feeling,fear is necessary for us to help us make the RIGHT decisions
  • Sep 26, 2007, 09:05 AM
    Tuscany
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by quesuponques
    he's mr. right! and we're both ready i'm just scared.

    Sweetie, the fact that you are scared should be a huge red flag for you. Being scared might mean that you are not ready for the pressures that sex brings into your life. And sex does bring pressures: getting pregnant, changing the relationship you are in (good or bad), what form of birth control to use, just to mention a few.

    Just because your boyfriend is ready to have sex does not mean that you need to be ready too. Wait and see how you feel a little while from now. If he loves you he will wait.
  • Sep 26, 2007, 09:14 AM
    mellymel21384
    Well... If you're scared, then you are not emotionally ready.
  • Sep 26, 2007, 09:19 AM
    Moomin
    Wow! Ok... I echo the fact you won't be able to get your virginity back once it's gone! You need to make sure you choose to loose it with the right guy!

    Re: the pain issue...
    I think (again) the more you worry the more it will hurt! I will say it won't (shouldn't) hurt forever! Remember sex is to be enjoyed by adults who can handle the emotional effects!

    Think carefully and as above BE SAFE!

    Do you have anyone who knows you and your boyfriend who you could confide in?
  • Sep 26, 2007, 12:25 PM
    TRISTE ET SEUL
    Hey gril I just wanted to say I am really proud of you that you are 19 and you have waited this long. I was 15 when I lost my virginity and it did hurt. I read the prev advice people gave you and pretty much greg was the only one who answered your question. It depends on how much pain your body can tolerate. You will feel pain but then by the third time you should start feeling pleasure, that all depends on your man and if he know what he is doing. Or is he a virgin too? Your virginity is special and if your ready and you feel he's the one go for it! Good luck! Have fun..
  • Nov 7, 2007, 01:16 AM
    linds03
    I was 18 when I lost my virginity (and dated him for 5 years after) it did not hurt at all. I was scared too because we all hear horror stories until we actually experience it for the first time. Everyone is different, though. Just do what feels right and if it hurts, then stop. Make sure you're careful, though. A baby at 19 would suck! Best of luck to you.

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