My g/f and I had a baby girl 3 weeks ago. She ripped a little and had to have a few stitches. I know normally they say you can't have sex for two weeks after having a baby, but is it longer when you have stitches? She wants to have sex, but is extremely worried about it so she don't want to try. I told her its OK if she wants to wait longer. The only problem I have, is she don't want to... lend a hand... at all, and she don't want me to do anything alone. She wants me to wait until she can have sex. Soo... how long should you wait?

The doctor didn't tell her this information? Usually it's at least six to eight weeks after an episiotomy (so it can heal), before intercourse should take place. Usually the doctor wants to see the new mother then to check her inside and outside to make sure all has healed before sexual relations resume.

She also needs to get her energy back. Right now she's up at night with feedings etc. and is probably not thinking about sex very much. The baby is what is on her mind.

(Is she the eager one, or is it you?)

Actually, she has told me that she wants sex, but is scared to. And (by her own decision) went back to work after 2 weeks. She has never really been the type to sit around. To her, recovering means getting back to the things you used to do, not sitting around.

The length of time that you can have sex after the birth of a baby is 6 - 8 weeks due to the healing process of the episiotomy site as well as the complete closing of the cervix. If you have sex before this time she not only runs the risk of pregnancy (very high risk right after birth) as well as reinjuring the episiotomy, and possible intrauterine infection.

Well both of you should wait for 40 days after delivering her baby... what did you mean by doing anything alone?? Do you mean having sex with another woman? If yes, then pardon me for what am going to say.. she went through all the pain of pregnancy carrying your child and the pain of delivery to give you wonderful gift from GOD , and you do not want to bare for a while and sacrifice little!!


Ms. Redrose

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Originally Posted by Maniac0683

My g/f and I had a baby girl 3 weeks ago. She ripped a little and had to have a few stitches. I know normally they say you can't have sex for two weeks after having a baby, but is it longer when you have stitches? She wants to have sex, but is extremely worried about it so she don't want to try. I told her its ok if she wants to wait longer. The only problem I have, is she don't want to...lend a hand...at all, and she don't want me to do anything alone. She wants me to wait until she can have sex. Soo...how long should you wait?

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I think he meant that she doesn't want him masturbating, nor will she help him masturbate or give him oral sex.

Why women have this absurd reasoning that mastubation is wrong if you have a partner is beyond me, though.

That is exactly what I meant (thats why I said "she don't want me to do anything alone") She tells me that if I have to masturbate, then it makes her feel like she is not good enough.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

I think he meant that she doesn't want him masturbating, nor will she help him masturbate or give him oral sex.

Why women have this absurd reasoning that mastubation is wrong if you have a partner is beyond me, though.

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That's highly unreasonable. She may not need or want it but that doesn't mean he doesn't. If she can't or won't get him off ( there is always oral) then he's fully within his rights to spank the monkey.

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Originally Posted by Maniac0683

My g/f and I had a baby girl 3 weeks ago. She ripped a little and had to have a few stitches. I know normally they say you can't have sex for two weeks after having a baby, but is it longer when you have stitches? She wants to have sex, but is extremely worried about it so she don't want to try. I told her its ok if she wants to wait longer. The only problem I have, is she don't want to...lend a hand...at all, and she don't want me to do anything alone. She wants me to wait until she can have sex. Soo...how long should you wait?

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After my husband and I had our second child we were both wanting it badly. But it had only been a week. We went real easy and I was on top so I was in control of how deep and how fast. Just be careful... and have fun without having that belly between you.