Hi everyone,

I have recently started at a new school. My parents are paying fifteen thousand pounds a year for me to go and I hate it! I do not fit into the "I am a rich kid and I get everything I ask for" or the "Posh English kid" category and I feel that because of this everyone ignores me and doesn't want to get to know me! On my first day all they asked me was "whats your dad's job" and when I told them they just walked away! Its rubbish.
I have to go to a school on a Saturday so I have no social life and I can't put up with it! Im expected to do after school activities so I am leaving school and 5:30 in the evening its rubbish.
I haven't told my parents because they would say I am being ungrateful! But I'm not I just can't handle all of the pressure from the teachers and kids!
I don't fit in and its hell!
PLEASE HELP WHAT SHOLD I DO??

Thanks in advance,

Jack

Hi Jack, my name is Jen, my mom put me in private school when I was younger, and I know how you feel. I hated it. The only problem is there really is nothing you can do about it, besides try and make the best of it for a little while. Show your parents that you are trying to fit in and after awhile if it still doesn't work out then try and have a heart to heart with your parents. But you have to at least try.

Have you tried to get to know anyone or are you walking around with a chip on your shoulder because you are not rich? We get in this world what we put out. I can guarantee that you are not the only person at that school who is not extremely wealthy. Plenty of kids get to private schools on scholarship and their parents make very little money.

I think that if you tried you would see that you have a lot more in common with these kids then you think. You feel that they are judging you but you are also judging them. Its never easy to be the new kid insecurities flare up big time. But the more you focus on the negative the worse its going to be. Try for a month to enjoy yourself at school and make friends and enjoy your activities.

You probably hate to hear this but your parents are probably sacrificing a lot in order for you to go to this private school. This school I'm certain is going to help you in getting into a good college and setting you up for your future. I'm guessing that your public schools were not challenging you enough so why not dig the challenge?

Change the way you are thinking about this situation and I think you will actually start to *gasp* make it work!

Please read the site rules in regards to assigning people agree/disagree. The information I gave you was not dangerous nor was it factually incorrect.

How long have you been at this school?

How many people have you approached?

How have you tried to make friends?

Have you been friendly or have you acted as if everyone would reject you since you are not rich?

Why did you elect to go to this school to begin with if you have such strong feelings regarding rich people?

Do not answer my questions over PM you are supposed to answer through this forum.

Okay so you have tried but you admit to having low self esteem. To you think that you may psych yourself out of friendships? You say that your family is middle class so I imagine that you are not the only middle class kid in this school. Maybe you would feel more confident talking to those kids? There are going to be jerks no matter where you go in this world and there will be people who are boastful about wealth and status so the only thing you can do is change how you react to them.

I'm guessing that going to this school is going to be good for your future or why else would you parents insist that you attend? Your studies right now could potentially determine the rest of your life and it seems as if your parents are trying to give you a leg up.

Sorry!

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

I'm guessing that going to this school is going to be good for your future or why else would you parents insist that you attend? Your studies right now could potentially determine the rest of your life and it seems as if your parents are trying to give you a leg up.

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Glinda is correct. These snobby rich kids may turn out to be part of a very valuable network you have as an adult. I know it's difficult when you're still young, but look at the opportunities in front of you--academic ones and well as social.

If you have self-esteem problems, you need to find ways to overcome them. What led to your having them in the first place? They aren't something new because of this school.

Think of a lighthearted answer to "what does your dad do?" or better, turn the tables and ask a question of your own (to show your interest in the other person) instead of answering this one.

Your glass is at least half full, not half empty.

Thanks for the comments. My confidnece went really downhill when I moved from scotland down to England a few years ago. I had many friends there and really enjoyed school. But as soon as I arrived at a junior/primary school in England I was the strange kid with a weird accent and I suppose my confidnece went down from there when I was no longer accepted. I have never really managed to move on from Scotland. I just remember what a fun time I had there. I suppose as well I liked performing on the stage and I did it at the junior school and everyone made fun of me because I couldn't get the english voice right and they just laughed at me on stage and would come up to me and mock my accent. Unfortuantly there were not any other Scottish people in my class. From that point on I just went quiet I couldn't do an english accent so instead it would be easier to stay quiet! I have never had the confidence to go on stage since that time so maybe there is a link I don't know?

Oh and also Im sorry Glinda for the disagreeing comment and using the PM feature accept my apoligies, thanks

Scottish people have wonderful accents! Use it to good advantage. Certainly there are plays that feature Scottish characters. Mention some to those who plan the dramas/comedies. If you can't figure out any titles, let me know and I will suggest some.

P.S. Hey! You're from Scotland. What plays were you in in the past that the private school would be willing to put on because the plays are funny or dramatically challenging? Gee whiz! Use what you know best to make inroads at this school!

No worries Jack.

I know how you feel. When I was little I lived in Missouri (which is a Midwest state here in the States) people from Missouri speak slowly and have an accent that people from other areas find funny. At age 8 my family moved from Missouri to New York wow what a difference! Everyone teased me over how I talked and I just decided to stay quiet. Kids would ask me to say certain words and would not stop until I gave in. one day I decided to turn the tables on them and I started saying to them say this word or say that word boy you say those funny. It sort of broke the ice with everyone and made me feel a little bit more comfortable.

I would think that being teased when you were young and never feeling comfortable in England would definitely have a lot to do with the problems you are having now. You feel like an outsider because your accent is different and you are scared that people will judge you. That is pretty common. I understand how frustrating it must be for you.

You can decide to either say who cares what everyone thinks I am what I am and its not going to change or you can stay silent forever - not much of a choice huh? If you love to act then pursue it don't let other people dictate how you enjoy yourself or what you do in this life. There will always be someone who thinks you talk funny, act funny, look funny whatever but its how we move past those people and express ourselves that determine our character.

Well I do have quite a low self esteem. I think it may of started a few years ago. I Moved from Scotland to England. I loved Scotland and I have never "moved on" I still want to live there and be there with all of my old friends, anyway I moved down to England and went to a junior/primary school. I was mocked for my Scottish accent and for that reason no one really wanted to know me because I was different and not like them. I used to love being on the stage and performing and so I decided to take part in a production/play but I was made fun of because I was not able to put on an English accent very well so they used to laugh at me on stage and come up to me at brake and mock my voice. From that point on I decided that since I could not talk in an english accent it would be better if I didn't speak unless I had to. I have never been on the stage snce then, I honestly used t be really confident. I don't know if this might be why I lack self esteem?

try to fit it give it a bit of time if it doesn't work then.. try and tell your parents how it feels going to that school like you told us
good luck =)

I have the same feeling as you.but my pressure from stupid entrance exam!
Try to fit it and make new friends

There is always a way out.

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Originally Posted by Jack2794

Hi everyone,

I have recently started at a new school. My parents are paying fifteen thousand pounds a year for me to go and I hate it! I do not fit into the "I am a rich kid and I get everything I ask for" or the "Posh English kid" category and I feel that because of this everyone ignores me and doesn't want to get to know me! On my first day all they asked me was "whats your dad's job" and when I told them they just walked away! Its rubbish.
I have to go to a school on a Saturday so I have no social life and I can't put up with it! Im expected to do after school activities so I am leaving school and 5:30 in the evening its rubbish.
I haven't told my parents because they would say I am being ungrateful! But im not I just can't handle all of the pressure from the teachers and kids!
I dont fit in and its hell!
PLEASE HELP WHAT SHOLD I DO?????

Thanks in advance,

Jack

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Hey I'm english and even though I do not personally go to a private school I have a few friends who do. And they are the same as you... wel obviously not exactly the same... but my friends parents don't earn particularly a lot of money.. and my other friend's parents remortgaged their house in order for them to go...
All I'm saying is...
Don't worry abou the money thing... or what your dad does for a job. It sounds like your parents work really hard and care a lot about your schooling and your future...
Also I'm sure there will be people at your school who have scholarships etcc... and some other people in your position...
Just be yourself and I'm sure you'll go far
It's your future that matters...
By the way
I think scottish people are cool.. and I love their accents...

Thanks for all of your comments. I made a friend on Friday - a person from Spain so hopefully I'm making good progress - slowly, but hopefully I'll get there in time.
All of your comments though gave me the confidence to talk to people so thank you! I am really grateful!
-Jack-

I'm sorry but I do agree that you are being ungrateful, if you don't like the students there just ignore them, just remember you will turn out a much better person for it.