My girlfriend told me she wanted to break up with me because she needs space and she said are relationship is too serious and fast. I know her last boyfriends broke her heart and she told me she's afraid I'll do the same, This guy I know was trying to get with her when we were dating and now they're talking and I don't know what to do, I wrote her a beautiful poem and I got her her favorite flowers when we were going out and she loved them, She's also really busy with cheerleading and dance 4 nights a week but we still manage to find time to hang out, She said she doesn't want a boyfriend right now and I respect that but I don't know don't what to do

You need to respect what she wants. She told you she wants space and does not want to be in a serious relationship so give her that. Recognize that if a friendship is to your detriment that it may be best to just walk away from the situation.

you cannot force your girlfriend to come back into a situation that she does not want to be in. She may not feel the same or may be unsure of what she wants. I would take her words at face value. Also, her ex may or may not have something to do with this but its not your problem and its not something for you to think about. You need to take her words at face value.

My question to you is can you truly just be her friend? She has told you she does not want a relationship, are you listening to that or plotting on how to get her back? She tells you she needs space are you giving her space or finding ways to spend as much time with her as possible? My guess is that you are doing the latter. If you want to be her boyfriend and she wants you to be just her friend then surely you see how there may be a problem? If you push and push at her (pushing is even just hanging out with her a lot or asking if she wants to be in a relationship or what's up with other guys) you will end up with her walking out of your life completely. So give her space and give her what she wants and get busy with your own life.

How long have you been together? Did you mean her previous boyfriends - as in many? It is important for me to know your age-group. It is also important for me to know if she is your first girlfriend and what you've invested in this relationship so far.

Please get back with me.

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We are both 16 years old and its not that she just wants to be friends, I told her I respect that though then I asked her do you honestly still have feelings for me and she said yes, but this other guy named Jordan told her he liked her when we were dating and she was like oh that's cool I have a boyfriend, I'm really handsome, he is ugly as crap though, he has a long goatee and is sleezy looking, its just I really want her back and I respect her getting Space but how long do I need to give her and when do you think she'll come back

She will come back when she's ready to come back. However, be prepared for the worse in this situation meaning that she may not come back.

You have to not focus on all the other stuff (ie other guys). If she wants to date other people then date other people, if she wants space give her space. If this is how she wants the relationship then you have two choices to go along with it or leave. That's it. Those are the only options.

But she likes me a lot, and she told me the other day because it was getting so serious her past boyfriend of 10 months broke her heart and she's afraid if we get too serious that I might do the same, How long should I wait and how long do you think it will take her to know, I'm not going to move on until I get this girl back, Im sorry but I just have strong feelings for her and its not going to change, I told her I would go at a slower pace and I told her I would always be here, We hung out 5 times the first week we dated, I know its wrong but she wanted me to come over and I agreed I just want her back, is it all right to ask her to hang out and talk

Not if she is asking for space. If she wants space give it to her. You are giving her a relationship without the perks and benefits and boundaries.

Only you can decide how long to wait. You are both only 16 years old that is very young to decide to attach yourself to someone forever. We often feel that we will not rest until we get back the person we loved or that life will just not be complete until we are with them again. However life is very long and those statements are often tossed out the window when we become fed up with waiting or decide its just best for us to move on.

I do give her space, I say hey here and there but what the man, its just if she leaves me for that loser then I don't want her

Well that is her choice. If she wants to be with someone else you can't fight that. She is the captain of her life and her own destiny.

Maybe you should start focusing on your own life and taking your focus off this girl for a bit. Maybe that might help

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Originally Posted by jakeschalmo

i do give her space, i say hey here and there but what the man, its just if she leaves me for that loser then I dont want her

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For goodness sake, you are just 16.

Ask yourself:
Do you remember (d.y.r.) what she was wearing the first time you saw her?
d.y.r. how she had her hair done the first time?
d.y.r. what you thought of her name the first time you heard it.
d.y.r. what she first said to you?
Do your friends like her, and how about her friends - do they like you?

I don't think that the 'love bug' has bitten you, I feel that you are just upset that you got rejected. This will probably happen to you more times in the future and it's normal. It just is not healthy to automatically be upset at the 'other guy' - she has had an ex boyfriend before, so don't forget that you were the 'other guy' once too and it was not your fault.

She is in the flirting and testing stage of life and you just plain and simply have to accept it.

Go out and do a little flirting and testing on your own, remember to be respectful, and enjoy your youth.

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No I can't have her then I don't want anybody at all, Its just I don't get it, why would she reject me she told I was the best boyfriend she'd has ever had and she made me promise her I would be, its just I want to go over to her house and talk to her in person but I don't know

Saying you don't want anybody at all is setting yourself up for a very lonely life. And your life has just started.

If you feel the need to talk to her, go see her, but also be ready for more rejection. What are you going to do then?

She does not want to be the center of your universe and you should not put her there. It is unfair to her and to yourself. Talk to some of your friends who have had break-ups, they'll tell you that this will pass in time.

If she is the first girl you were intimate with, cool, good for both of you, but that does not mean that you have to pledge your whole life now.

What about her makes her so special? Give me some examples of why you can't let her go...

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_206.gifThis couple may mate for life.. but humans generally don't, especially not at 16!

Ok some examples that I can't let her go, OK at my old school I was popular and all the girls loved me, then one day I got in a fight with some kid and he did in a car wreck a week later and everybody hated me, I have moved since then 10 minutes away and she is the first girl to treat me the best and make me smile all the time when I'm with her, she actually understands me and likes me for who I am

Well it sounds like you are just clinging onto her since she is the first person to be nice to you. Why not try branching out and meeting other people? You cannot cling onto this girl and make her your world that's not fair to you or her.

Why isn't it, she likes me she and told me she would like to get back with me sometime but she's afraid and she also told me the only thing that she wouldn't want to get back together is she wants to be able to hang out with other guys and not feel guilty or get yelled at and I said OK I don't care who you hang with as long as you don't cheat on me, but she told me she'd get mad if I hung out with other girls, I'm not looking for a life lesson guys, I just want to know how to get my girlfriend back

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Originally Posted by jakeschalmo

Ok some examples that I can't let her go, ok at my old school I was popular and all the girls loved me, then one day I got in a fight with some kid and he did in a car wreck a week later and everybody hated me, I have moved since then 10 minutes away and she is the first girl to treat me the best and make me smile all the time when im with her, she actually understands me and likes me for who I am

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I think you hate yourself beause you probably think they all blame you for his accident.
You can start all over in this new school, just do what you did to gain popularity before. Be outgoing and positive with those around you and give them some time to get to know you.
She was the first to open up to you and she will not be the last. All relocations take time to adjust to . Who knows. I think you should not give up so soon. How about talking about all this with your teacher and ask for advice.

I don't think those other kids hate you either.. I think they just did not know how to react towards a situation like this. When one does not know how to act, one tends to avoid situations - but that does not mean hate, just fear.

Well we already told you. Give her what she wants - she wants space give it to her. She wants to be friends so be friends. You cannot force her back into a relationship. She will come back to a relationship when she is ready right now she is not. There is nothing N-O-T-H-I-N-G you can do to speed up this process. By spending time with her and being available all the time and asking to see her all the time you are not giving her space. Back off her and see what happens. Don't spend time with him, don't call, IM, text whatever for a week and see what happens.

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jakeschalmo]she wants to be able to hang out with other guys and not feel guilty or get yelled at and I said OK I don't care who you hang with as long as you don't cheat on me

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what you agreed to sounds fair..

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, but she told me she'd get mad if I hung out with other girls

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this.. is not fair coming from her.

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, I'm not looking for a life lesson guys,

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don't need to look for it, you're living it, like it or not. We never stop learning as long as we live. How we go about living with what we learn is up to us.

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I just want to know how to get my girlfriend back

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don't know.. Maybe give her the space she wants, wait for her to come back to you if and when she wants. While you are waiting though, you could look around and see what life has to offer.

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