I am a 24 year old male, Right from my teenage days I was really horny and I studied in a residential school, in which I had to study, live, play and do everything with my male friends only, so I did have many sexual activities with my schoolmates, so I had little interest in girls, but whenever I tried to impress a girl I miserably failed because of my ugly looks, by the way, I have to accept that I have a very ugly face (very big, dark and square face), I am very short and losing hair very fast. After I left school I joined college where I was good only in my academics, I had few good friends whom I lost due to my gay behavior with them, again no female friends everyone avoids me, everyone hates me, even my family does not care about me, they just assume everything is fine with me and don't care about me, they don't understand my feelings. I am alone in this world with so many people around me, no one to speak to my heart, no one to even tell my feelings. I never got a kiss or even a warm hug from anyone. I tried everything to forget that I am alone, books, alcohol, prostitute what not. Still I feel the same, I think there is no purpose in my living any more I want to die but I am really scared, I don't belong anywhere my life is a complete failure, I simply don't want to live for myself I want to love people who love me but no one loves me, I see all doors in my life closed, its dark everywhere where to go?

Many people think this hun you said that your family assume that everything is OK to me this means you have not told them what is on your mind! It sees to me that you are indeed depressed and you need to see your doctor and see what help they can give you. I suffered from depression and constantly thought no one cared about me and no one wanted me around but truth is I never listened to what they were telling me and that was I needed help. Are you religious or anything? Because I also found that going to church helped me loads as I met people who are genuinely friendly and care about you I really hope this helps you are in this world for a reason keep your head held high smile and the world will smile with you

Unfortunately the human world is a very ugly place underneath that polished beautiful surface. Beauty is only skin deep and somehow the world has chosen to value only the thin fake veneer. You may be able to find love, maybe try buying it at first. I know that sounds nasty but the sheer relief from the touch of another human can sometimes open the door to better things. Such fake spiritualism and goodness pervades the egos of so many people. Depression is at an all time high, and idiots just keep prescribing more medication to deal with it. The reason depression is so widespread is because we are all so shallow and fake, manipulated by the media into constantly desiring youth and beauty. Most people are not young or beautiful, yet we all worship the idiot box and it's constant message of desire this, want that, be like me and you will be happy. My advice to you is to go and buy some love to start, and see what happens from there. It's better than being alone.

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Originally Posted by Vorlon007

Unfortunately the human world is a very ugly place underneath that polished beautiful surface. Beauty is only skin deep and somehow the world has chosen to value only the thin fake veneer. You may be able to find love, maybe try buying it at first. I know that sounds nasty but the sheer relief from the touch of another human can sometimes open the door to better things. Such fake spiritualism and goodness pervades the egos of so many people. Depression is at an all time high, and idiots just keep prescribing more medication to deal with it. The reason depression is so widespread is because we are all so shallow and fake, manipulated by the media into constantly desiring youth and beauty. Most people are not young or beautiful, yet we all worship the idiot box and it's constant message of desire this, want that, be like me and you will be happy. My advice to you is to go and buy some love to start, and see what happens from there. It's better than being alone.

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Thanks Vorlon, I think you gave me a right solution, it indeed worked, now I got someone who can do anything I want by getting paid, though I know she is doing it for money, I am getting some one to talk to who hugs me and kisses me! I want to live and love any one who gives me love for anything in me!

I think you need to talk to someone who will help you with yourself esteem problem. Paying for affection is not getting affection. It's getting serviced and if you're not careful, you can be getting used and getting Stds
There are a lot of other lonely people out there. I'm sure there is someone out there for you that you will not need to pay.
But let your family know what you're going through. Get some help. Get to know someone without the thought of having sex with them.
Find someone who is interested in the same things you're interested in and start from there.

You shouldn't care what people think and if you think no one likes you just say who cares as long as you are people will love you for that. Also if no once cared about you why would all of us writing to you be trying to help every one knows it feels to be unhappy but if everyone wanted to die then we would be one sad and empty world. You should try and make new friends and get help so you aren't all depressed.

A lot of people think in this form that death is they're only answer, it isn't. If people around you are not acepting of you because of your outside appearance than these kind of people you should not have a place in your life. There is someone who will see your inner beauty and won't notice your outside appearance, people can be so shallow and meanful and hurtful and because of this behavior so many children and adults have been driven to commit suicide because of someone's else's insecurity and immatue behavior. Don't be a victim to this. These very same people believe it or not have more issues than you think don't believe in any way that you don't belong in tnis world you do. God did not bring each and everyone of us into this world if he thought we didn't have a purpose in life. You need to find inner strength and believe in yourself to carry on don't give up hope, talk to a priest or a teacher someone that you can confine in. And I'm sure your family does not want to lose you, try communicating to them tell them how you feel I'm sure you will have their attention and reasure you that you are loved.