I am a 24 year old male, Right from my teenage days I was really horny and I studied in a residential school, in which I had to study, live, play and do everything with my male friends only, so I did have many sexual activities with my schoolmates, so I had little interest in girls, but whenever I tried to impress a girl I miserably failed because of my ugly looks, by the way, I have to accept that I have a very ugly face (very big, dark and square face), I am very short and losing hair very fast. After I left school I joined college where I was good only in my academics, I had few good friends whom I lost due to my gay behavior with them, again no female friends everyone avoids me, everyone hates me, even my family does not care about me, they just assume everything is fine with me and don't care about me, they don't understand my feelings. I am alone in this world with so many people around me, no one to speak to my heart, no one to even tell my feelings. I never got a kiss or even a warm hug from anyone. I tried everything to forget that I am alone, books, alcohol, prostitute what not. Still I feel the same, I think there is no purpose in my living any more I want to die but I am really scared, I don't belong anywhere my life is a complete failure, I simply don't want to live for myself I want to love people who love me but no one loves me, I see all doors in my life closed, its dark everywhere where to go?

I am sorry that you are so sad. You are depressed which colors your views I think. You have an education? You are ahead of the pack then. Does that translate to a good job? Now you are really cookin'. There are mostly ordinary looking people in this world. A lot of them are women. They want relationships too. Looks are not everything. Personality, a cheerful attitude, interesting conversation are better than movie star looks. Good luck sweetie

Ur not alone I feel like that sometimes and the way I learnt how to deal wiv it was harming myself now every time I look in the mirror I see horrible scars. I tried to kill myself and ended up in hospital and that scared me and made me realise I need to do something to stop me feeling like this. The best thing is to go doctors and they will subscribe you anti-deperssants but also tell them you want councillin becoz there issues you need to talk about. And honestly if I was you I would do it before it gets to late and you end up like what I did and its scary because you don't really want to die its the sadness in you which makes you think like that.. your not alone people go to get help all the time.. it will take time but you will overcome it look back at it a stronger person as well.. No one wants you dead your on this planet for a reason so try and get help and you'll feel better within yourself promise..

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Originally Posted by unfortunateyoungindian

I am a 24 year old male, Right from my teenage days I was really horny and I studied in a residential school, in which I had to study, live, play and do everything with my male friends only, so I did have many sexual activities with my schoolmates, so I had little interest in girls, but whenever I tried to impress a girl I miserably failed because of my ugly looks, by the way, I have to accept that I have a very ugly face (very big, dark and square face), I am very short and loosing hair very fast. After I left school I joined college where I was good only in my academics, I had few good friends whom I lost due to my gay behavior with them, again no female friends everyone avoids me, everyone hates me, even my family does not care about me, they just assume everything is fine with me and dont care about me, they dont understand my feelings. I am alone in this world with so many people around me, no one to speak to my heart, no one to even tell my feelings. I never got a kiss or even a warm hug from anyone. I tried everything to forget that I am alone, books, alcohol, prostitute what not. still I feel the same, I think there is no purpose in my living any more I want to die but I am really scared, I dont belong anywhere my life is a complete failure, I simply dont want to live for myself I want to love people who love me but no one loves me, I see all doors in my life closed, its dark everywhere where to go?

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you are not a failure and your life has purpose you were created in the image of the one True God and that is perfect you are his child but your have turned your back on him you have sought out temporay pleasure and a sinful path and need to return to him at the moment you are his enmey and he is very much angry with you in fact your sin is a big obstacle between you and him and it needs to be delt with God says that he has set a day that he will judge you and your sin and in fact you seeking to take your own life will only expedite it faster
I suggest you seek out the Lord God confess your failure to live up to his standard repent of your sin ask the Lord jesus to be your Lord and saviour and forsake your sin what ever it might be by trusting in the Lord jesus you will have made peace with the Lord God and then he will make straight your path it will still be hard but hey lets face it it beats taking your life and fiding yourself in before a Holy God who is about to punish your for your life of sin

Hi there young indian,
First of all, I don't believe that you're doomed to an eternity of damnation. I believe you're a confused young man who's had some difficulties socialising.
It sounds as though you're in need of a close group of friends to help you out and offer support. You need to find people who will be able to understand you and help you through this. You might be able to join a club, or even a church group - anything where you might meet like-minded people. Or you could even seek a counsellor or therapist, just so you have someone to talk to.
Remember what you said about being afraid to die. If death is more scary than life, you obviously have something worth living for. I'm sure the people around you care about you much more than your know. There is always a reason to go on living.
Send me a message if you want someone to talk to.
Kal

The answer to this is within. First you have to accept who you are , if you are gay fine that is who you are. Look at the positives in your life such as your education and use this to turn your life around. Learn from your up bringing and help others that are living the same way you are. Look in paper or phone book and find a support group that deals with abandament issues so that you can learn to accept your families actions. You can not change them all you can do is change you through positive affirmation of what you do well.