Hey all, I'm new to this site but I saw some good advice so I thought I'd try my problem here. I've been with my husband for 5 years, married for 3. He's always been jealous and I know that, but I work in a field where there are a lot of guys. I am forced to work with them and interact with them. He absolutely HATES this. But I learned early on that when he finds out I've been talking to a guy or friends with a guy, he will flip out and demand that I cut all ties and do not talk at all because "guys only have one thing on their mind". I don't really agree with not talking at all because that would make my life very hard and I don't think it's fair. If its not flirting or sexual in nature, I don't see the harm? Anyway, since he freaks out, I have been lying to him that I don't talk to guys. He knows deep down that I am lying, but he hasn't said anything in awhile about it. I know it's not good to lie, but it creates HUGE fights that always end up in me promising to not talk to any male unless I absolutely have to. So tonight he brought it up, wanting to know exactly what I talk about and he says that he just wants me to tell him the truth, no matter what - jealous or not. That me lying is the main reason he gets upset. So I try telling him that I do carry on clean conversations at work, and of course, he flips. He starts calling me names, accusing me of flirting and being easy, etc. Then the big "D" word comes into play - divorce. I don't really know what to do because I feel like I'm being controlled over something that is nothing. I know it should be equal but I feel like I can't get anywhere with him sometimes. I really love him and I know he loves me but its just so hard sometimes to get past this one issue. Any advice on how to make this work, I would appreciate. I really don't want to divorce him. I believe that we CAN fix this, I just don't know how :( Thanks...

You both need to go to marriage counseling. It would appear this is not something you can fix by yourselves. If you are churchgoers you could try to talk to you priest/minister/pastor. Anyway, good luck to you.

Well the most important thing is that you love each other... u shouldn't lie but at the same time I can see why you would do it. Your husband is most likely insecure about himself and he gets all these thoughts racing through his head. I would suggest counseling for both of you, so you can both express yourselves to a professional. Good Luck!!

Wow! This brings back some memories from my marriage. My ex-husband and I went through this a lot when we were married. He would freak out if I had any type of conversation or interaction with another guy. We got into many fights about this and inevitably, we got a divorce over his insecurities. We are now dating again to see if there is still anything there and its going pretty good. My advice would be to try some counseling. I really wish I would have given counseling a better shot during our marriage. It could have saved me from a lot of problems. If he doesn't want to try counseling, give him the choice to either try counseling or get a divorce lawyer on the phone. There is no sense in you feeling this way just because of his insecurites. Usually insecure men tend to be rather jealous and controlling. Stand up to him and tell him he you are going to talk to guys (in a friendly matter) and he is going to have to get over it.

Good Luck!