Ask Me Help Desk - What does he really mean about a "break"?

Well o.k.. It's not complicated but I'm just a lil' confused!:S
I'm 16, and so is my boyfriend. We liked each others for a longtime and just a month ago we started dating. I like him a lot w it was clear that he did too!
But not long ago he's grandma is in the hospital and his uncle died in a accident. He stopped returning my calls or any1's calls (even he's friend's!) I was so depressed and didn't know what was actually happening! So I talkd to his friend on msn and he started telling me stuff (really convincing ) like I should break up with him because he's not being a good boyfriend. Well I sent him a message ASKING him if there was anythn wrong in our relationship and if he wants to break up. He didn't answr so I startd crying and didn't know what to do!

A day after, he told me he needed a break! And later that day my friends saw him and told me that he was really miserable ( seamed as if he was crying no long ago) so I said o.k for the break ( and I don't really know what he means about a break) but after that I talkd to his friend ( thos one on msn) and told me that it's clear he's trying to find a way to break up with me!

I seriously duno what's going to happen and I duno what to think! Is his friend sayn the truth? (I mean he's his friend! I don't think he would ever try to hurt my boyfriend! :confused: ) but I'm sure that my friends didn't make up that he lookd miserable and seamed as if he was crying!

Do you think the break is for a break up? Or just for some time to take his mind of things? :confused:

Thx:)
PS: we'v been on the break for 2 days now... do you think I should send him any message? Or call him?( but we'r on a break!! ) I'm afraide he'll forget me!:confused:

Do you know his parents? Instinct would bring me to talk with his mother or father about the family loss. Will there be a funeral? Plan to attend with or without him. Information is best when concise and factual and now is not the best time to be texting friends who will have just bits and pieces clouded by self interpretation. Bet all will turn out just fine.

Thx:) really! I will call his mom later:)

When a family has one crisis after another, there is bound to be some tension and friends will be placed on the back burner (so to speak) until things are worked out. Some people need longer to mourn and get over their emotions in order to be able to 'function' for the people 'outside'.

You are both still very young, and your BF has a lot on his plate right now.
Try and be supportive, tell him your sorry he's going through a lot and ask if there is anything you can do to help. I would avoid messaging with the other guy because he sounds like he's not a friend of either of you. He sounds more like the dude that likes to see other people suffer.

This will take a little time, and don't worry about a breakup - you just started, give him a little space and catch him when he's feeling stronger.

Just because 'boys don't cry' does not mean they are cold as stone.

Again, I think if you approach him civilly, he'll eventually contact you again.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by weasmox

well o.k.. it's not complicated but i'm just a lil' confused!:S
I m 16, and so is my bf. we liked each others for a longtime and just a month ago we started dating. I like him alot w it was clear that he did too!
But not long ago he's grandma is in the hospital and his uncle died in a accident. he stoped returning my calls or any1's calls (even he's friend's!) i was so depressed and didn't know what was actually happening! so I talkd to his friend on msn and he started telling me stuff (really convincing ) like i should break up with him bcz he's not being a good bf. well i sent him a msg ASKING him if there was anythn wrong in our relationship and if he wants to break up. he didn't answr so i startd cryin and didn't know what to do!

A day after, he told me he needed a break! and later that day my friends saw him and told me that he was really miserable ( seamed as if he was crying no long ago) so i said o.k for the break ( and i dnt really know what he means about a break) but after that i talkd to his friend ( thos one on msn) and told me that it's clear he's tryin to find a way to break up with me!

i seriously duno what's gonna happen and i duno what to think! is his friend sayn the truth? (i mean he's his friend! i dnt think he would ever try to hurt my bf! :confused: ) but i m sure that my friends didn't make up that he lookd miserable and seamed as if he was crying!

do u think the break is for a break up? or just for some time to take his mind of things?!:confused:

thx:)
PS: we'v been on the break for 2 days now... do u think i should send him any msg? or call him?( but we'r on a break!!!) i m afraide he'll forget me!:confused:

If a guy forgets you he's bnot worth the time.. he won't forget you though we all think the guy or girl in some cases that we've been in love with is going to forget about us when really there thinking the same thing I don't think he askd for a break because he doesn't like you I think he just has a lot going on right now and doesn't want to worry about relationship things and weather or not he's being a good boyfriend and calling you when he should expeshally if he was close with either or both family members.. give him some time if its meant to be things will turn around.. you can call and see how he's doing and ask how things are coming along or if he needs anything buit don't push the subject some guys just don't like to open up they hold everything in until they cant.

He's going through a really tough time right now, but from my personal experience, when someone wants a break, is usually leads to a break-up

But... I'm not trying to be mean, but I think everyone needs to hear this... it's only been a month, it's not like you've been together for years, life goes on, you meet and love other people. Help him if you can, just tell him no matter what happens between you two, you'll always be there for him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by weasmox

well o.k.. it's not complicated but i'm just a lil' confused!:S
I m 16, and so is my bf. we liked each others for a longtime and just a month ago we started dating. I like him alot w it was clear that he did too!
But not long ago he's grandma is in the hospital and his uncle died in a accident. he stoped returning my calls or any1's calls (even he's friend's!) i was so depressed and didn't know what was actually happening! so I talkd to his friend on msn and he started telling me stuff (really convincing ) like i should break up with him bcz he's not being a good bf. well i sent him a msg ASKING him if there was anythn wrong in our relationship and if he wants to break up. he didn't answr so i startd cryin and didn't know what to do!

A day after, he told me he needed a break! and later that day my friends saw him and told me that he was really miserable ( seamed as if he was crying no long ago) so i said o.k for the break ( and i dnt really know what he means about a break) but after that i talkd to his friend ( thos one on msn) and told me that it's clear he's tryin to find a way to break up with me!

i seriously duno what's gonna happen and i duno what to think! is his friend sayn the truth? (i mean he's his friend! i dnt think he would ever try to hurt my bf! :confused: ) but i m sure that my friends didn't make up that he lookd miserable and seamed as if he was crying!

do u think the break is for a break up? or just for some time to take his mind of things?!:confused:

thx:)
PS: we'v been on the break for 2 days now... do u think i should send him any msg? or call him?( but we'r on a break!!!) i m afraide he'll forget me!:confused:

Well think... he has been through a lot and he doesn't seem to be making contact with anybody so don't take it personal right away. He is obviously disturbed and if he won't even talk to his own g/f then there's a problem. If you have been hounding him, he may be compelled from you. Then again he could just be stuck in his own problems and can't show concern for anyone else. Just wait and see what happens. Don't get me wrong, I think it would be nice if he at least gave you an explanation to why he doesn't want to talk to anybody. He is probably stuck in his own emotions and is still in shock from what happened. Him not talking to anybody shows that he hasn't accepted this as reality yet. Buy him a card or something that shows your concern. Maybe he'll let you inside his space of grieving. But beign that you have only been with you for a month, he may not be ready to have you in his life that much especially if he isn't letting any friends in on his problems.