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-   -   Help me please I'm going crazy (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=12540)

  • Sep 8, 2005, 05:20 PM
    cutie08
    Help me please I'm going crazy
    OK you well I still like my ex he broke up wit me, because he thought I lied to him but really I didn't.and I've told him the whole story and the misunderstanding that he had so we have talked and do still sometimes. But the prob is I still really love him and all my friends want me to bac out wit him except my guy friends.lol of corse they say I can do better than him and the truth is I no I can but I donno I just still have very strog fellings for him. But I donno how to tell if he still has fellings for me and I can't just ask him because he and I are really shy about that so please help me asap I love him sooo much!!
  • Sep 8, 2005, 09:55 PM
    justjamestx
    Ask for have someone ask
    I am guessing that you are young, but I suggest that if you don't want to ask directly then ask someone else to ask for you. I tell you I have known and still best friends with a girl since I was 7 years old (now in 30s). We are best friends and talk about once a week for a couple of hours. Looking back, to this day I still wish I would have just asked the girl, she is now married and I would never become a marriage,, but reflecting back I Wonderful if we had dated what would have happened,, but you see now I will never know for I never had the courage to ask. If you don't find out now,, perhaps you two will ponder the question of "what if,,," for many years to come.
  • Sep 9, 2005, 05:38 AM
    one_life
    Do better then
    [QUOTE=cutie08]all my friends want me to bac out wit him except my guy friends.lol of corse they say I can do better than him and the truth is I no I can but I donno I just still have very strog fellings for him. [QUOTE]


    As you said already you can do better then him, so move on. What is it about women when they say they can do better? Is it because they feel insecure and worthless, therefore they need to put down the person they are or were with. If you can do better then by all means find someone better. Stop wasting your time and his time!
  • Sep 9, 2005, 12:54 PM
    justbass
    Take it from a jerk
    I think the only thing holding you back--and correct me if I'm wrong--is that you see this guy in the light of what he could be as opposed to who he is right now, right? That's how you are able to live and still love his more undesirable present self.

    Here's the problem with that: this guy as he presently is, is who he really is. And who he really is, is someone who is not capable of being good to you.

    And also, the best version of this guy that you are holding out for isn't real. The person you want him to become is actually the type of MAN you want to be with. You need find someone who is already like that.

    Yeah you'll have to be lonely for a while but so what. It's called standards. I think women should have higher ones.


    But if you want to check it out, talk to him, (which isn't a bad ideah) as one of the posts suggested, keep this in mind.

    1) from what you said it sounds like he is choosing not to forgive you.

    You need to find out why. Period.


    It is not OK in a relationship for someone to be angry and not talk about it.

    THEY WILL EXPRESS IT IN SOME WAY. Holding a grude is a socially excepted form of abuse. Don't stand for it.

    He owes you an explanation. If the situation was reversed you would owe him one. If he won't talk then it's unhealthy for you to waste any more time on him.

    So again, number 1) give him one last chance IF YOU THINK THAT HE'S NOT GOING TO ABUSE YOU EMOTIONALLY

    Also, actually to some introspecting of your own so that you can tell him things that are true as apposed to things you will change your mind about ten seconds later.

    If you don't know, then you don't know. That's honesty. That's what men want.

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