How do I get my boyfriend to understand depression and that I can't just turn it on and off. He says there is nothing wrong in my life and that I shouldn't be sad. I don't want things to get bad between us, but I need him to understand that there is no switch. I do tell him there are no on and off switches. I have also done research on the internet and told him to check the pages out. He refuses to read about it.

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Originally Posted by Samijo25

How do I get my boyfriend to understand depression and that I can't just turn it on and off. He says there is nothing wrong in my life and that I shouldn't be sad. I don't want things to get bad between us, but I need him to understand that there is no switch.

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Have u tried just telling him that there is no on and off switch and that there might be some things that he doesn't know about that are making u sad?

My parents were, and still are exactly the same!
I know its hard, but what you need to do, is get him to look up depression, especially major depression
Direct him to these sites
beyondblue
Clinical depression - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
And any others explaining the types of depression
He will then see, that some depression isn't about what's right and wrong
Sometimes its just your brain having chemical imbalances and stuff like that
And everyone has reason to be sad, even though you don't need reasons to be depressed, sometimes you just are
Life is such a bittersweet thing, there's always some bad.

Sorry, but I think that you should rather reach out to people that can help you, then to explain yourself to someone that don't want to listen and don't be just sad because you know or believe that you are depressed try to turn things around, surround yourself with people that loves you, set new goals for yourself and just be happy, you deserve it

How old is he? He is behaving like a child. If he won't even read about it...
I'm tempted to say leave him, but I don't know what else goes on in your relationship so I'll hold off.

I just want to let you know you are not being unreasonable looking for some understanding.

Hi Samijo, having read this and your previous post on marriage. I would put the idea on hold for the time being. Firstly your guy doesn't sound that committed yet. Secondly, taking into account you are already depressed, his lack of commitment and lack of understanding will fuel how you feel anyway. Try to look for someone outside of your relationship who can be empathetic but not involved emotionally with you or him. Yes I agree no one can REALLY understand your depression because it is personal to you.
If you concentrate on getting yourself better first, then you will feel stronger and be in a better position to know whether marriage is right for you at this stage.
You have not given any details as to why you feel as you do. It may be clinical, whereby medication should help a great deal. Or it may be that life and stress are causing it. If this is the case, counseling would be a better option.
Hope this is of help. Good luck and best wishes... Richard.

NIMH: Depression

Dear, no matter what happens to him, just make sure that you seek/continue treatment in order for YOU to have a more stable life. The link shows an easy one-pager to read, but also has other links that are informative.

If he does not 'want to talk about it'.. he obviously does not want to understand what you are going through. In that case, it might help you to ask him if he fears this disorder or does not believe in it. Then, ask yourself if the stress coming from him is worth it because I feel it will hinder your progress.

So all in all ask... What is it all Worth to YOU?

Good luck, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

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Originally Posted by cal823

my parents were, and still are exactly the same!
i know its hard, but what you need to do, is get him to look up depression, especially major depression
direct him to these sites
beyondblue
Clinical depression - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
and any others explaining the types of depression
he will then see, that some depression isnt about whats right and wrong
sometimes its just your brain having chemical imbalances and stuff like that
and everyone has reason to be sad, even tho you dont need reasons to be depressed, sometimes you just are
life is such a bittersweet thing, theres always some bad.

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Dear Cal..

Got the 'spread it' message when wanting to rate this post.

I just spent time on the beyondblue site and I thank you so much for posting it here. I read the stories and poems here and am so touched.
I identify in more ways than one and am elated to know that there are people out there who share their feelings to help themselves and others. It just goes to prove that WE ARE NOT ALONE!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_19_3.gif

Your welcome chery :)
Even though I'm a guy, but anyway :)
You seem like a really awesome person, its great meeting such amazing people on this site.

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Originally Posted by cal823

your welcome chery :)
even tho im a guy, but anyways :)
you seem like a rlly awesome person, its great meeting such amazing people on this site.

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OOPS, sorry, but you could have fooled me (ha.. ) Thanks dear, and I return the compliment. You often show so much in your posts that I assumed you were a gal, cal..

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I hope samijo is still with us. It would be nice to know..

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Yer samijo u still around?

Hi Cal,
I'd just like to say it is nice to hear such maturity coming from someone of your years. If you carry on as you are you should hopefully go far in life.
Cheers Richard.