My boyfriend split up with me 10 months ago after living together for 1 1/2 year. I knew something was bothering him, but it came as a surprise to me that he wanted to split up. He said he really liked me, but he wasn't sure. In the beginning I wrote two letters, but after that I decided not to contact him and only when we bump into each other we have a really nice conversation, but I keep it short. Just until recently he is seeing somebody else.
I just want to know if there are people who have experienced that their ex love is coming bck after this long time?

I'm confused, why do you want this man back? If he said he really liked you but wasn't sure and its 10 months ago you need to move on in your head and accept that he is not coming back. Concentrate on your own life.

Explore your own feelings for him;

Are you still in love with him? Or are you in love with love? Whatever the reason is that you are asking yourself this question may tell you what you should do, but you must be honest with yourself.

You didn't give us very much information; why did he break up with you, what was bothering him?

Have you had a chance to talk with him about all this?

Yes Old "flames" come back and it works, but not too often.

Yes, I still love my ex boyfriend. He has been very honest with me. Personally I think he doesn't know the exact reason why he is not sure. Maybe he needs time to explore the answer. That is probably why I still secretly hope for him to come back. He didn't say he definitely didn't want to be with me anymore. It was for both of us our first longterm relationship, I am a wee bit older then him and maybe I wanted too much too soon. The last two months of our relationship we were both busy with work and things were not so exiting as in the beginning, but I thought it was just a fase we had to go through.

In the meantime I have done a lot to forget him and to keep occupied. I dived into my photography, spend a lot of time with friends and went on a couple of trips. It was really good. In a way I don't blame him for breaking up, he has made me think and I learned a lot about myself. I might have been too happy with him because he was my first longterm boyfriend and made him feel pressed.

Well mmaki, then I would say again to you that if is meant to be...

You didn't state your age but from what you did say you sound young. I know it isn't easy but personally I would get on with your life. I am much older than you and experience does add a little something to your wisdom (been there done that sort of thing... ) and I know it sounds a little cruel but what happens; happens. But I would just go about your life, if the opportunity presents itself and he comes around again--go for it.

I am actually older then you think. It might sound strange in your ears, but I am 40 and my ex boyfriend is 25. I just never really had a proper relationship before, was not ready myself and always quite happy on my own.
But I think you are right, I just have to get on with it and whatever happens will happen.
I guess I just wanted somebody to say that he will come back but that is actually very silly.
I just don't want to push him away and keep going as it is now, when I see him be very nice and understanding and keep it light and short.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mmakl

I am actually older then you think. It might sound strange in your ears, but I am 40 and my ex boyfriend is 25. I just never really had a proper relationship before, was not ready myself and always quite happy on my own.
But I think you are right, I just have to get on with it and whatever happens will happen.
I guess I just wanted somebody to say that he will come back but that is actually very silly.
I just don't want to push him away and keep going as it is now, when I see him be very nice and understanding and keep it light and short.

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Wow mmakl I am 43 and my ex is 25 he just left me 6 weeks ago for a girl he works with we lived together for 7 years and everything was good in our relationship. It was a total shock to me that he left. He was my best friend and I was his. He didn't give me any warning that he was going to do this but I've been told that this girl at his work was making him think the grass was greener on her side of the fence. He was with me since he was 18 and I guess he needed to see what was out there.

I think your wasting time with false hope, and should be doing what he is doing, and that's moving on with your life.

Yeah MissingHim2Much,
I am sorry to hear your story, 7 years is a long time! I think we have to be strong and positive. He might find out that the grass isn't greener on her side sooner or later and realise what you two had together and come back. Always be positive and reassuring when you meet him, don't condemn him for his choice. You have to respect that, unless he was cheating on you and then you are better of without him. My boyfriend has been really honest with me and I actually think he has to grow himself and find out who he really is himself before he can get into a proper relationship again. The girl he is seeing now is only seventeen.

mmakl,
You should read the whole story before you give advice, and you should give up the false hope of him returning, and move on with your life.

Nil chance of retutning

I am getting on with my own life and most of the time I am allright. There are just moments you have to deal with your feelings. I will not forget him and to work on yourself is the best to do. I am always positive when I see him and happy and I notice that he relaxes. He is telling me things he is proud of himself, things he has achieved. He might not want to come back, but at least I don't want any hard feelings. I am looking around for other man, but it just hasn't happen yet.

Please take the pain of the heartache and get it over with. If you take him back later you will open old wounds and it will take longer to heal once he LEAVE AGAIN! Seldom do old relationships mend and become fruitful. Make a list of those things you want in person that you are seeking in a relationship and try not to compromise on the list. If you are looking for someone who pick up after themselves and they do not display this quality (this is something that can be corrected with reinforcement and constant demonstration) it would not be considered a compromise. But if it is something that you know will take counseling or just against you beliefs move on. There is a compatible lifelong partner (man-woman relationship) for everyone. Do not make this the center of your life. Look slowly and move slowly.

<I am always positive when I see him and happy and I notice that he relaxes. He is telling me things he is proud of himself, things he has achieved. He might not want to come back, but at least I don't want any hard feelings>

You are stuck in denial,
You need to realise its over and move on.

I wasted many months in denial last year also with a confused man I was engaged to and thank God I found this site or otherwise I could still be still stuck.

You need to cut all contact and move on with your life , he is not coming back.

Sorry to be blunt, but in cases like this bluntness is neeeded,

Why give him the pleasure of your friendship, let him feel the pain and loss instead.

No contact is the only way to go.

Thank you ROL. I know you are wright! But it is hard. I am actually getting on with my life very well, there is a lot going on, but letting go has never been one of my strongest points. I think I am doing allroght!