My husband wants to adopt my three boys. I have not yet started the paperwork only because I haven't been able to find any reasonable help. We would like to do the paperwork ourselves or as much as we can anyway. But would like some advice about the process. I know the basics, but our situation is far to complicated to get by with that knowledge. The bio father lost custody over a year ago, hasn't paid child support in 2 yrs & just recently decided to take me to court to request joint custody. We are scheduled to go to mediation and further hearing next week. Meantime I would like to at least file for the adoption hoping I could get his parental rights terminated, as I know he won't give them up. It is a really long story. He was in jail only 2 months ago for a drug charge. He has quite a few of those. As well as domestic violence history. I believe his parents are the ones pushing him to take me to court. Because they want to see the children. That's proven to be bad for them as well. Long story short my husband & I know that it's best that he or his family doesn't have custody or visitation. However I know that he won't sign a consent. Please Help. I know abandonment is a big issue. I need to file for the adoption asap. Should I file the pleading form to terminate parental rights based on abandonment? Do I file that with family law courts then the adoption separately with probate courts? Please any answers or advise is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

First-you have to have his rights terminated. If he does not want to avoid his rights voluntary,you have to file for TPR and for adoption. It is important because you have to show that your husband is willing to adopt them. In other way the judge may not allow the termination.Abandonment,drug charges and etc are ground for his rights to be terminated.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by crbdss4

Should I file the pleading form to terminate parental rights based on abandonment? Do I file that with family law courts then the adoption separately with probate courts? Please any answers or advise is greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

---

Yes-you should... but my advice is to file them together.

DO NOT try to do this yourself. Getting a bio father's rights terminated is difficult if its voluntary. If its involuntary, it can be a real battle. You will lose if you don't have an attorney to guide you from the very beginning.

If he has filed a petition with the court for joint custody, then you will have to file an counter peitition to terminate rights as part of your husband's petition to adopt. While his drug record may be sufficient grounds to terminate, it may not. Without knowing where you are we don't know what local laws apply. There are also too many factors here that might go into a judges decision.

Where do you get the idea that an adoption is filed in probate court? Probate is about wills and estates. YOU absolutely need to file the terminate and adoption petititons together. TPRs are rarely granted without a step parent waiting to adopt.

If you really want to have your husband adopt then you will get a lawyer NOW!

Scott, I agree with you. They need an attorney.
If they file the terminate and adoption petititons together,they will have great chanses due to biofather's behavior-jail time,drug charge and also he has not paid child support for two years.

I am not so sure you can get it on abandonment anyway. Why do you feel that would be the appropriate reason to use for the TPR?

You REALLY, REALLY need a lawyer like Scott says. Chances are your ex will have one and without a lawyer yourself... I don't think you will really stand a chance to win and you will not likely win a TPR. Not that you WILL guaranteed win one with a lawyer but you stand a far better chance with one. His lawyer will know a lot of tricks and how to keep any possible evidence you have against him out of court, you need a good lawyer to combat what ever his lawyer will do. And you need to make sure you are using the best case reasoning to ask for a TPR. If you find out later ohhhh I should have asked for it based on neglect or abuse because there was more evidence and just not enough evidence for it on this charge then you will be very sorry.

You asked; " What to do when things get tricky "? The answer: is you hire a tricky lawyer ;)