Ask Me Help Desk - What shall I do

I am 24 and working in the gulf. I did not get much love from my father in my childhood as he was a very serious person. So I started liking guys of his age who shows likeliness and affection to me. I like senior people who are handsome and having penetrating personality. Am straight and there is no sexuality in it. I met a man who is in his late fifties with a stunning personality. I liked and used to see and talk to him on a daily basis. Am giving him a fatherly respect. He is living alone and I used to visit him during week ends. I used to stay with him for more than a hour every week watching TV programs. We used to sit on the floor. One day he told me to lie on his lap and I did it and I have been doing it for almost 6 months or more. As I was giving him fatherly respect I did not think of anything else. I felt it great as I am getting some love. One day he got up from the floor and went to the kitchen and I noticed that there was drops of his ejaculate on the floor where he was sitting. I got bit worried and started to think that he is using me for sexual satisfaction but I did not tell anything about it. Next day he told me to visit him early in the morning before going to my work. That day I went to his house in the morning and as soon as I reached there he told me to lie on the floor. I did not hesitate and he came on top of me and told me to relax but I could not relax. However he managed to get himself satisfied and he started rubbing at a spot on my back and after few minutes I knew that my underwear is wet. He asked me to come again next day and he wants me relaxed so he can use me for homosexuality.

I don't want to loose the friendship with him and I am sure that he will soon ask me for anal or oral sex as he is an experienced homo and he know how to trap me without my knowledge. He is a nice person and I want to keep him close with me. Please tell me what shall I do?

If you don't want to be intimiate with him, I suggest you discontinue the relationship.

I agree with the above answer.

If you are a straight guy and not interested in having gay sex, then I would suggest telling him exactly how you feel. If you are honest and open with him, he probably will understand. If he continues to "toy" with your thoughts as well as emotions, then lose him as a friend.

I am a straight guy. I have had numerous gay friends over the years. With some of them, it has not been possible for them to get past the fact that I am straight and not interested in gay sex. We have had to part company. I have tried to make sure that they are the ones who are making the choice and not me to end the friendship. That way, that can't go blaming me for a decision that they made. Parting company can be really hard! But, sometimes it has to be done.

I do think that you have a childhood fantasy going on, and that would be that you want to replace the "dad" that you didn't have when you were growing up.

You are 24 now. You are old enough to be a dad yourself. Your physical actions with the older man are that of a child. As such, I would suggest that you consult a counselor in order to get over the fixation that you apparently have to seek out some type of father figure for yourself. If you need some type of father figure, as so many of us do, then I would suggest joining a club that involves men where you might latch onto another man as a friend who wouldn't have his sexual interests be more important than your friendship.

A mom, dad, sister or brother is oftentimes the one who acts the part. It doesn't necessarily have to be your blood relationship. But, sure as shootin' a person who acts and takes the place of an immediate family member, isn't going to be wanting to have sex of any kind with you.

I am hopeful that others will come along and also share their insights as well as advice. I have given what I can for the moment.

I have gone through the answers of tickle and Clough to whom I am also agree. I can see from your post that you are not interested in gay sex but you want to keep the freindship with that old man. I know some guys who like older men and respect them as their father or uncle but no one is engaged in this type of relation. They are respecting each other for the affection as all of them are having children and they does not involve in gay sex. However your case is very typical. What I would suggest is to talk to your old man very frankly and make him understand that you are not interested in gay sex but you still want to keep the friendship. Is he mingling with other boys or you are the only one? What I feel that he could be a bisexual, out of his family and is active in sex and when he got the chance he utilised it. Having sex with someone is up to your will and if you are not interested in it you can refuse such approaches. If you do not want to break the friendship wait and see if he is going further as you thought and if he is asking you for xtreme sexual relation with you then tell him that you are not interested in it but would like to keep the personal friendship with him. I am sure that if he is a person engaged fully in gay sex then he will be able to find other partners who will be interested in it. Any way wait for other suggestions.

I would recommend seeing a therapist as soon as you can.
You seem unable to separate reality from fantasy and your sexuality from paternal affection.

This would help you hopefully deal with your confusion in the longterm.

As for your current male friend. I would end it now unless you plan to have sex with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash123

I would recommend seeing a therapist as soon as you can.
You seem unable to separate reality from fantasy and your sexuality from paternal affection.

This would help you hopefully deal with your confusion in the longterm.

As for your current male friend. I would end it now unless you plan to have sex with him.

Thanks everybody for spending your time to give me advice on my problem. Actually I did not visit him today so he called me and asked why I did not visit him. I told him that I don't like any type of gay sex. I think he was not happy but he told me he will consider it but he want to see me. Now I have decided not to see him any more at his residence and will avoid a meeting with him also.