OK, here's the situation... I'm a college-age gay guy and there is this guy that is at my gym every time I go. He is a little bit older than me and very good looking. I am very attracted to him and can't decide if he is gay or not. It's not that I want to hook up with him, but it would be nice to know. Sometimes I think we make passing glances and he looks at me, but I don't know if it's my imagination. He always comes to the gym with another guy, they drive seperatly, so I assume they meet each other there after work. They both seem gay to me. He always wear very stylish clothes to the gym... Under Armour and nike shocks. Not that this means anything. How do I find out if he is gay or let him know I'm gay in a suble way... I'm not the obvious type of gay guy, so he wouldn't know just by looking at me. I would talk to him, but there really hasn't been a situation I would need to talk to him. So I guess what I want to know is how do I find out if he's gay without asking him, don't want to risk not being able to go to that gym anymore and remors being spread? Thanks!

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Originally Posted by psuguy

OK, here's the situation... I'm a college-age gay guy and there is this guy that is at my gym every time I go. He is a little bit older than me and very good looking. I am very attracted to him and can't decide if he is gay or not. It's not that I want to hook up with him, but it would be nice to know. Sometimes I think we make passing glances and he looks at me, but I don't know if it's my imagination. He always comes to the gym with another guy, they drive seperatly, so I assume they meet each other there after work. They both seem gay to me. He always wear very stylish clothes to the gym... Under Armour and nike shocks. Not that this means anything. How do I find out if he is gay or let him know I'm gay in a suble way... I'm not the obvious type of gay guy, so he wouldn't know just by looking at me. I would talk to him, but there really hasn't been a situation I would need to talk to him. So I guess what I want to know is how do I find out if he's gay without asking him, don't want to risk not being able to go to that gym anymore and remors being spread? Thanks!

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Come on, any advice would be helpful people!

If you think it, then you probably know better than the rest of us (hetrosexuals). This is a tough one, however some of the traits you are describing about him are a little nebulous and not necessarily mean someone is gay

While I disagree with xrayman, I don't want to give him negative feedback (he seems to give good advice). Nothing (other than having sex with a man) necessarily makes a man gay, and even men who have sex with men claim to be straight.

What I don't understand is why you would be imagining he's gay unless you wanted to hook up with him. The only time I wonder about people's sexuality is if it could impact me in some way (aka, I want to hook up with them). I don't think it matters unless you want some sort of relationship with this guy (romantic or otherwise).

Well according to the news on today I guess you tap your foot in the rest room stall, that is suppose to be some secret gay sign. At least they arrested someone for doing that as a sign for asking for gay sex.

But on a seroius note, you ask, You can't tell if a girl is straight or not if you are a guy, so you ask them out, unless you are living in the closet, you ask, if they say no, you tell them you are sorry

This is the very same question that I ask in another post (how to know gay from straight)
There are only 2 other people on this planet that knows I'm gay. I live in a small town and it is hardddd to meet anyone. The ideal situation would be to go up and politely ask, but if you do that in my neck of the woods, you would wake up in the emergency room, and if that didn't happen then the whole community would know.
Ps- by the way, I'm not ashamed of the way God made me, but I am afraid of losing loved ones and being treated like a freak of nature

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Originally Posted by Xrayman

if you think it, then you probably know better than the rest of us (hetrosexuals). this is a tough one, however some of the traits you are describing about him are a little nebulous and not necessarily mean someone is gay

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I agree about the stereotype. There are a lot of nice dressed straight guys out there. You can't assume that because some one is in fashion that they are gay.

What makes a man or woman gay is the fact they are attracted to the same sex. Doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone of the same sex. Gay men and women live the same lives as straights. We love, hurt, and lust the same as everyone. So to say that the only difference is they have sex with members of the same sex is flat wrong. In regards to the actual post, when in doubt make a conversation and lead it to a point where you can ask. For example tell a story about your ex and say "my ex bf" and watch his body language including facial expression. That will tell you everything.

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Originally Posted by codyng88

What makes a man or woman gay is the fact they are attracted to the same sex. Doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone of the same sex. Gay men and women live the same lives as straights. We love, hurt, and lust the same as everyone. So to say that the only difference is they have sex with members of the same sex is flat wrong. In regards to the actual post, when in doubt make a conversation and lead it to a point where you can ask. For example tell a story about your ex and say "my ex bf" and watch his body language including facial expression. That will tell you everything.

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Did you notice this thread is 5 years dead and the OP has never been back since and will never read your answer?

Please look at post dates before responding