Ugh.

I had made it 20 days of NC, which is the longest I have ever gone not talking to my ex since I have met her.

I sent her an email, essentially asking how she has been, if she's excited for school to start again, etc.

This will likely make me feel horrible later.

Why can't I just STOP her (thinking about her, wanting to talk with her, just HER)?

Aagh! I'm on day 14 and the only thing holding be back is I know I'll feel exactly how you feel now if I contact him. I want to go for at least 45. Don't contact her again! If you don't hear back, just let it be.

Even if you haven't moved on.. you want her to think you have.. you want her to keep wandering about you.. contacting her only proves to her that she still has you right where she wants you. Don't give her the power!

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Originally Posted by Suelle383

Aagh! I'm on day 14 and the only thing holding be back is I know I'll feel exactly how you feel now if I contact him. I want to go for atleast 45. Don't contact her again! If you don't hear back, just let it be.

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Thanks for your response, and good luck with your NC.

I definitely won't contact again if I don't hear back--I am kind of worried that I will, though, and I'll just get my hopes up.

Just keep going. Don't beat yourself up about this. Everyone has a backslide of some sort.

When my boyfriend and I broke up I changed the options so that any email that came in from him would be immediately deleted that way I would not be tempted to break NC.

If she does write you back just delete it without reading it. You owe that to yourself. You are not over her so you cannot talk to her - if that makes sense.

Believe me the view from the top of the 45 day hill is pretty awesome you know what's even more awesome the 60 day view. After 60 days you don't even want to call.

Suelle I recommend you chug along post 45 days. You'll be shocked how you feel at day 45. I did the same thing I said I will not contact him for something like 6 weeks. When the 6 weeks were up I was like why am I even going to call him?

Exactly, Glenda. I used 45 days because I was guessing after 45 days I most likely won't even want to contact him. If I do, then I keep going with NC. 45 days was more if he contacted me after 45 days then I would respond.

My b-day is in about 40 days so if he doesn't call me for my b-day then he's def an as#

Well he broke up with you so I think we already knew he was a dirty rat

Haha.. I know. I just think it'll give me more proof so I wouldn't idolize the loser sometimes. Glinda, the funny thing is, he really really is such a loser! I know I can do sooooooo much better. Its just the rejection from such a loser that hurts! I've been on dates with literally 8 different guys who are so much better than him since we broke up and they all liked me and wanted to see me again... so I'm like, what the hell is wrong with him? They all see it. Why doesn't he? Well, its his loss. I just want him to know that... I know I sound ridiculous!

No I think that everyone wants their ex to know that not only are the getting on with their life but they have met guys who are WAY better then them.

My last boyfriend would always say that he was original and that there was no one out there better then him and he was so financial stable, blah, blah, blah. Well 6 months after our break up he called me and started back up our friendship. Everything was okay until April. In April I met this awesome guy who was smart. Gorgeous, super ambitious and had a really high level job. My ex asked me how dating was going and I mentioned this guy. When I told him what he did for a living and I told him he got so pissed and I never heard from him again. Part of me was like SEE JERK! So I guess we all want to have that revenge. Nothing wrong with it

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Originally Posted by sabtme

Thanks for your response, and good luck with your NC.

I definitely won't contact again if I don't hear back--I am kind of worried that I will, though, and I'll just get my hopes up.

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No contact is like riding a horse, just cause you fall off doesn't mean you can't get up and get back on. :D

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Originally Posted by talaniman

No contact is like riding a horse, just cause you fall off doesn't mean you can't get up and get back on. :D

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::gets back on the NC horse::

My problem is that my ex wasn't a loser. He was great. I know him dumping me doesn't exactly demonstrate that but it was the best relationship I've ever had. That's why I'm so scared that I will never find anyone better.

Hey! It took me 7 months before I finally got NC. Its working wonders now. Honestly deep down I would maybe like to have a friendship or aquantence with my ex one day. I think she would like that to but not until I am over her. If that means I don't speak again because of NC well then so be it! - I didn't loose out.

Maybe it's a case of wanting what you can't have and missing that intamacy of a relationship. But to be honest there is so much more to enjoy in life than being in a relationship. Its not the be end end all. Contact will accomplish nothing but more confusion and hurt. Don't bother, get healthy and stay strong - THAT is very attractive!

Don't idolize your ex. If they were so great, then they would've seen how great you are and not left. There's someone(s) out there for every one. Sometimes people just don't fit together. It just helps me in the healing process to think of my ex as loser rather than some great guy.

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Originally Posted by Suelle383

Don't idolize your ex. If they were so great, then they would've seen how great you are and not left. There's someone(s) out there for every one. Sometimes people just don't fit together. It just helps me in the healing process to think of my ex as loser rather than some great guy.

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Don't get me wrong I am mad as hell at that @$$ hole for what he's done to me. And I do think he is a loser for throwing me away like a piece of trash. My point was that he was a great boyfriend and never until this moment did anything to hurt me. He was always doing everything he could to make me happy. Was and Did being past tense of course

Well, I broke it again.

This time I actually called her, although I got her voicemail.

I am beginning to think she is ignoring me, which is weird. This is how our recent communication has gone:

1. Breakup.
2. NC for 7 weeks from me, she IMs me twice.
3. 2 Weeks later, she returns from a trip out of the country, I send her an email.
4. The same week, she IMs me every night, we talk for 30 minutes to an hour at a time.
5. I see her in person for the first time in 2 months at the end of the week.
6. She goes out of town to visit her family/work.
7. 20 days of NC.
8. I email her. 2 days later I call her (today).

Why would she suddenly ignore me if about three weeks ago she went out of her way to talk to me every night and see me in person? It's almost like she is doing my NC for me--which is making me confused, to say the least!

Don't contact her again. From now on, when you feel like contacting her, come to this site and read all the posts up here and maybe it'll prevent you. You don't want to keep repeating this cycle.

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Originally Posted by Suelle383

Don't contact her again. From now on, when you feel like contacting her, come to this site and read all the posts up here and maybe it'll prevent you. You don't want to keep repeating this cycle.

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What cycle, though? I managed to go NC for the most part, she contacted me and I, although maybe I shouldn't have, jumped at the chance to talk with her.

Now when I initiate communication she just ignores me? Seems pretty odd.

If you were totally healed, you wouldn't care if she returned your call right away or not. I don't think you are totally healed, so its probably not a good idea to keep this communication up. Can you honestly say you've moved on? If not, you should probably just leave her alone.