all right me and this guy met on a family trip. Exchanged numbers and started talking. In the beginning he told me he didn't want a relationship. I did. He told me he wanted to be "friends w/ benefits." I agreed. The idea didn't seem too harmful, hooking up w/ a hot guy no strings attached? We only hooked up once and I wasn't really interested in him, but I could tell he was interested in me. He would always text me and randomly call me. I wouldn't get back to him right away sometimes cause I didn't really care and I told him I was interested in some other guy I had been "seeing". But then, I FELL FOR HIM! I started texting him back right away, returning his calls, and try and make plans w/ him. Now he doesn't call me, rarely texts me, and when we talk, he is very short. I let my guard down and dropped the chase. I would say he's not interested... but last week he asked me how me and the guy I liked were doing. Why would he care if he wasn't interested. I get totally confusing mixed signals from him I can't read him.
Monday night we made plans to hang out Thursday, and when Thursday came round I asked him if we were still hanging out. He replied w/ "huh, did we make this plans in advance?"--what the heck is that supposed to mean?
he then told me he was going to a party and said I could probably go and to text him later.
so I did. I texted him asking if we were still on for the night. His reply was "i cant, im going to my dads" I knew he was lying to me. So I told him I was sick of his games and to talk to me when he wasn't going to b.s. w/ me. He replied saying "yea i am lieing, i am going out" so I said whatever bye.
this was 2 days ago and we haven't exchanged words since.
I don't know what my next move should be. I can't tell if he is playing hard to get, or just not interested. And if I should play the game back? Or get over the guy. Getting over him would be easier said than done, because I like him a lot.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD ADVICE?

He said he didn't want a relationship and he's acting like he doesn't want a relationship, so he probably doesn't want a relationship. Don't waste your pretty on this guy.

2 days seems like a long time - but it's nothing.

I'd advise not to work up any feelings for this guy as well. He seems like he does want to play stupid games. Work you up and then not contact.

He said he didn't wan the relationship, so early on go by that.

Don't contact this guy again - it will only lead to heartache - it's good to see other people.

This guy sounds like a jerk, drop him! I think he's been straight forward with you by telling you he doesn't want a relationship, and you should trust him on that. As for what to do, I recommend just dropping him, because, the longer you play the game, you'll realize not only does it not work, but that it's just so emotionally draining that in the end, it's not worth it.

I know exactly what you are going through, I've been there, even though your situation is probably a little more clear cut. I met this guy from school about 9 months ago, and he wanted to do the friends with benefits thing, but I refused. I think he was only looking for that because he stopped calling me when he found out I wasn't going to agree to the friends with benefits arrangement. Well, he called again after 2 weeks of being MIA, proposed being friends, and it's been a hellish rollercoaster for me since. He calls me every 2 days, and we hang out often, but what I've realized is that we don't go on dates, we hang out, at bars, to drink. We talk about everything, from school, to politics, to our families, and there are times I just feel like we have a connection and there is potential for something there, but every time he gets close to me, he pulls back and acts so nonchalantly. The hard thing for me is that, I like him, I love his company, I love hanging out with him, when we hug, I feel like I belong with him, but then he refuses to progress this to another level. It's so stagnant, and at first I thought I could handle it, just being friends, but this feeling of emptiness would just naw at me each time we hung out. I tried to kid myself into thinking I am fine with this arrangement, because we're still platonic, meaning nothing physical has happened beyond making out, but I can't continue to play these games with him. If he is unwilling to commit to a mature relationship, then I am going to end this as I can't continue to be with someone under these circumstances. However, it's easier said than done as I find it so difficult to let it go. But at the end of the day, I know it's the right thing for me to do.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shaniqua

alright me and this guy met on a family trip. exchanged numbers and started talking. in the beginning he told me he didn't want a relationship. i did. he told me he wanted to be "friends w/ benefits." i agreed. the idea didn't seem too harmful, hooking up w/ a hot guy no strings attached? we only hooked up once and i wasn't really interested in him, but i could tell he was interested in me. he would always text me and randomly call me. i wouldnt get back to him right away sometimes cause i didn't really care and i told him i was interested in some other guy i had been "seeing". but then, I FELL FOR HIM!! i started texting him back right away, returning his calls, and try and make plans w/ him. now he doesnt call me, rarely texts me, and when we talk, he is very short. i let my guard down and dropped the chase. i would say hes not interested... but last week he asked me how me and the guy i liked were doing. why would he care if he wasnt interested. i get totally confusing mixed signals from him i can't read him.
monday night we made plans to hang out thursday, and when thursday came round i asked him if we were still hanging out. he replied w/ "huh, did we make this plans in advance?"--what the heck is that supposed to mean?
he then told me he was going to a party and said i could probably go and to text him later.
so i did. i texted him asking if we were still on for the night. his reply was "i cant, im going to my dads" i knew he was lieing to me. so i told him i was sick of his games and to talk to me when he wasnt going to b.s. w/ me. he replied saying "yea i am lieing, i am going out" so i said whatever bye.
this was 2 days ago and we havent exchanged words since.
i dont know what my next move should be. i can't tell if he is playing hard to get, or just not interested. and if i should play the game back? or get over the guy. getting over him would be easier said than done, because i like him a lot.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD ADVICE?

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Sounds like you found someone who's compatible but not available. Just cut it off and move on to greener pastures. It's easier said than done, but the faster you do so, the faster you'll find someone who's more of what you're looking for.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shaniqua

alright me and this guy met on a family trip. exchanged numbers and started talking. in the beginning he told me he didn't want a relationship. i did. he told me he wanted to be "friends w/ benefits." i agreed. the idea didn't seem too harmful, hooking up w/ a hot guy no strings attached? we only hooked up once and i wasn't really interested in him, but i could tell he was interested in me. he would always text me and randomly call me. i wouldnt get back to him right away sometimes cause i didn't really care and i told him i was interested in some other guy i had been "seeing". but then, I FELL FOR HIM!! i started texting him back right away, returning his calls, and try and make plans w/ him. now he doesnt call me, rarely texts me, and when we talk, he is very short. i let my guard down and dropped the chase. i would say hes not interested... but last week he asked me how me and the guy i liked were doing. why would he care if he wasnt interested. i get totally confusing mixed signals from him i can't read him.
monday night we made plans to hang out thursday, and when thursday came round i asked him if we were still hanging out. he replied w/ "huh, did we make this plans in advance?"--what the heck is that supposed to mean?
he then told me he was going to a party and said i could probably go and to text him later.
so i did. i texted him asking if we were still on for the night. his reply was "i cant, im going to my dads" i knew he was lieing to me. so i told him i was sick of his games and to talk to me when he wasnt going to b.s. w/ me. he replied saying "yea i am lieing, i am going out" so i said whatever bye.
this was 2 days ago and we havent exchanged words since.
i dont know what my next move should be. i can't tell if he is playing hard to get, or just not interested. and if i should play the game back? or get over the guy. getting over him would be easier said than done, because i like him a lot.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD ADVICE?

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My dear, he is playing games and using you as a spare, when he can't find anyone. Don't get into this, it will only hurt you more. While the initial texting and phone calls seems exciting and give you form of satisfaction due to the attention, once you give in (sexually) its all over. He is obviously not interested in YOU, just the chase and the sex.