Hya every one

I'm 14 and resently my mum has got a new boy friend

It's a really long story but he is a horrible person

He has done things that have proved he doesn't deserve another chance

He hasn't hurt anyone except my dad but I have a feeling he will

I'm scared for my mum I want to protect her

He has a history but I don't want to go in to it

Every time he comes round I go to my dads I'm scared of him :(

Well they are getting married soon and he will be moving in

All our family has fallen out over this and I cnt take it anymore I cry myself to sleep most nights and this is putting me off school

I have just done my sats and sat a gcse early I got a level 8 and 7 and a b in the gcse///i was lucky very lucky

We get a school report that shows our prgress over the whole year and that show in every subject that I started to fall around the date this all happened

The real question is I've onli got lyk 2 months then he's moving in should I move in with my dad but I don't know how to tell my mum

Also my mum has asked me to be a bridesmaid I have said yes because she's my mum but I don't know if I will be able to take it at the wedding I might break down crying




Will someone help me:(

X

For you not to mention thing's about him it must be horrible. I know you love your mother but if you feel safe with your father move in with him, you can always go back home with your mom if you choose, and you can be a brides maid that doesn't mean you have to live with her. Take care of yourself and pray about everything.

Have you talked to your dad about all of this?

It sounds like he is in your corner. I would sit him down and tell him all of your concerns and tell him that you are scared to live with your mom when she marries this guy.

Okay I'm guessing your two brothers have a different dad.

What has this guy done? Has been abusive or violent in any way? Where do you live? This information will allow me to help you lots more.

Her response to me:

No we all have the same dad but my two brothers get along with him

He hasn't been abusive to my family but I have know him for a long time an he had a previous wife that he beat up on a regular basis

My mum knows all this but says he's 'changed' I'm sorry but people like that don't change

There minds are sick

I live in england

Regardless of whether your brothers get along with your dad or not he can have you all move in with him. I would talk to your dad about it again. I can't imagine your dad would want your brothers or you living with someone who may become abusive.

Also post your response IN this thread not through a message. Go down to the answer this question box and type in there.

No I mean my brothers get along with my mums boyfriend

My dad has asked them to move in but one of my brothers is disabled so he doesn't understand an the other just said no

Well what do you want? Do you want to live with your mom, your brothers and your moms new husband? Or do you want to live with your dad?

I want to live with my dad and feel safe

But I'm scared for my disabled brother really because he doesn't understand and if my mums boyfriend really did hurt him how is he going to know if its normall or not

He won't tell us I can't stand seeing people hurt him

Believe me he will know if someone is hurting him or not. My friend is a special education teacher and those kids report abuse. If a parent hurts them they always say something. They know right from wrong.

You can't force them to move. I don't know anything about English law when it comes to custody agreements so I can't help you there. Your best bet is to keep talking to your father about your concerns.

My dad is the best hope I've got right now

Once my mums new boyfriend didn't accually hurt one of my brothers but nerly so my dad came stright round

He said he will protect us till the end of the earth

He know what I'm feeling every time I go to his house we talk about it

I think I am going t move in with him but how can I tell my mum I don't want to hurt her feelings?

I would just be honest with her. Tell her you love her and think she a great mom but you are afraid of her boyfriend and you don't feel safe living in the same house as him and that you hope that she understands and will respect your decision. Give her a big hug and tell her you love her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 14 and confused

i think i am going t move in with him but how can i tell my mum i dont want to hurt her feelings?

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Hurting her feelings should be the least of your worries. I might be a wake-up call for her to realize that she's about to marry someone her daughter's so afraid of she can't live in the same house with him.

I know but I have tried to tlk to her but it all goes in one ear and out the other

Maybe write her a letter. Just lay your heart out. You deserve to be heard.

She may not want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes people live in their own world about someone or certain situations and don't want to believe anything bad because it makes their world explode.

That's a very good idea! I remember when I was little I used to write a 'sorry' letter if I broke something it was so much easier than talking to her

I can't believe I didn't think of it

Well I have to go my laptop is runnig out of battery

Fanx for all the help u've given me I will keep in touch esspesially closer to the wedding in October

Love jess x

Has eny1 else been in my position with your perents devorced and a new family your not happy with I need advice

X

Fanx everyone for the advice I really need it

X

Let us know how everything goes. Just update us in this thread.

Do you have a school counselor you can talk to about your problem ? You need input & advice from a professional.