Hi.

I'm new here.. Maybe you guys can put some light on the subject. I recently had a relationship end. It was short. It lasted about 3 months but I was pretty much taken apart by it.. This is how it went.
This girl was having a lot of issues. They were relationship issues with her past live in boyfriend. I helped her through this part of her life. The whole relationship was about her. Her issues. Her needing support, Her needing to see me, when she wanted to see me etc... It was pretty tiring. When she would stay at my place she would sometimes make long distance calls without asking. She kind of made my place hers. She left her things wherever she wanted. Never asked if she could leave things. Just did it. She seemed to feel entitled. Then she moved into a new place. I spent 7 out of 8 days helping this person with things at her house (ie renovating). I had to leave one night early to attend to my own life responsibilities and she stated that I should be there helping her. I explained that I had a dog at home and I had things to do.This really upset her. Long and short of it. I received an email ending the relationship about 3 days later. The relationship went from I love you to "get lost" in 5 days. I have never heard from this person again... This person, in the relationship stated that they wanted to have children with me. That they had taken 39 years to find me etc... Then boom, the hammer was dropped. This was two months ago... Am still perplexed and confused. I have never had anything go like that before. Most of all I am completely emotionally exhausted. I have sought therapy and have been told that the relationship I was in had a lot of narcissistic qualities. All about her. Entitlement, No empathy at all at breakup. Belief that she was special in the sense that "spirit guides" talked to her and that she could see angels when I took her to my church... What do you guys think...

I think you are describing my ex. I have found through therapy that these people are so damn needy and so unaware of who they are that they lie without even realising it. They lie for what they need which is security. Mine believed in spirits and ghosts and things - had huge chunks of his life which was NEVER talked about, felt very welcome to come to my flat whenever he wanted - like he owned the place - said I was his 'god' who he worshipped and wanted to be living married together within weeks. WOuld do anything for me without me even wanting it to be done then call me totally selfish for wanting an evening out with friends. Would feel TOTALLY rejected and would be looking to replace me on internet chat rooms. Finally he found someone 17 years younger who needs a passport to stay in the UK - they moved in together and are getting married.
WIth a new supply source which can be better controlled, he now tells me that I was abusive and evil... Don't bother trying to work her out - she doesn't know herself and you NEVER knew or saw her - only what she wanted for you to see to hook you...

Ever heard the offspring song "issues" ? If not, I suggest you listen to it, it's a catchy tune and pretty much describes her. She probably left you because you don't have the requisite forklift to carry her baggage.

She sounds like a complete loon and a textbook narcissistic. Get down on your knees and thank God, Allah, Jesus, whoever you believe in that this woman left you life. My father was a narcissist and that man was a total emotional blackmailer, he would fly off the handle if things were not HIS way, he couldn't possibly understand how anything he did could e wrong. It was basically the equivalent of continually bashing your head into a cement wall.

You dodged a super big bullet here. I have a feeling she preyed on your needs and your insecurities. I mean really who after 3 months would say I want to have kids with you? You don't even know who someone really is after 3 months.

This gal should be filed under "big mistake. sub category lesson learned". Never look back. If she tried to contact you don't take her calls. Do not contact her. Just move on. Bravo for taking the step to therapy. Also understand that this is not about you she is the one who is unstable and not right mentally. Narcissists do a job on you because they make you think that something is wrong with you and that you are wrong and not right.

I think you should be thanking your lucky stars she dumped you and then ask yourself what it is about you that you fell into that trap so you don't do it again.

It sounds to me like she may have been using you because maybe she had no one else to go to and she was sad and still missed her ex and wanted him but couldn't have him so tried you and you weren't the same and she also wanted a male friend to talk to