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-   -   I'm stumped (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=123164)

  • Aug 27, 2007, 01:03 AM
    tinanalynn
    I'm stumped
    :( k me and my boy friend have been dating for a year and six months now and I feel like our relationsip is turning into just sex, he lives in the next town away from me now so we only get to see each other like once or twice a week, and that is all we seem to do its getting borring to me I told him about how I felt but he don't feel the same way, I asked him isn't there something missing to you? He feels fine with how things are and I really love him, but I need to spice things up like romatically, not just sex how can I tell him what romantic because the only thing he can think of is a candle light dinner. Now he's all worried that I'm going to leave him and he's upset that I'm board of the relationship but I dono what to say I don't want to leave him but I want to change things a little I don't want it to be and infatuation or whatever that word is for fake love, I want more than just sex. :confused: :(
  • Aug 27, 2007, 01:37 AM
    MayMsredrose
    Hi there... just open up and talk to him the same way you are talking to us now... tell him how much you love him and there is much more than sex in a solid relationship which is required to take care of... if he did not think of something romantic.. take the lead and make it... avoid in your dates with him staying in a close area... plan to go out with him prepare for a picnic or something where you can spend more time away from bed.. let him explore and realize that he can spend wonderful time with you without having sex for a change...

    Good Luck.

    Ms. Redrose
  • Aug 27, 2007, 01:50 AM
    missbeach123
    This was a major thing with my ex too. Romance just seems to dull down, except the sex ritual... I agree with MayMsredrose, Tell him gently how you feel, and sometimes, men just don't get it. If he refuses to get it, then evaluate if you want to stay with him, but if he's willing to learn what kind of romance you would like, he sounds redeemeble... also, tell him the sex will get even better when you feel like he is making new efforts to be romantic because you will feel even more into pleasing him... good luck
  • Aug 27, 2007, 05:38 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Why don't you come up with some different things to do that you guys could do together to build up your relationship. Anything that you two do together that is bonding can be romantic. My ex boyfriend and I used to go indoor rock climbing. It was a great sport for the both of us it built up trust and it was a great common experience. Why not break out of your regular routine. Do you guys live near a city where you could go out and explore a museum or some little weird part of the city.

    Guys don't always understand romance. They see it as just candle light dinners so then that becomes cliché and boring. Sometimes you have to intervene on your own behalf. One of my girlfriends was upset that her boyfriend never brought her flowers so she told him hey you know what would be really romantic if you brought me flowers sometime. Low and behold he started randomly bringing her flowers. Plant the seed for romance with him and watch how it will grow.
  • Aug 27, 2007, 05:47 AM
    Chery
    Just like what has already been said.. Guys have a different idea of romance as Girls do and we just have to 'plant' the ideas in them.

    It is hard for a guy because not all girls have the same idea about 'romance', so it will pay off when you talk to him about your ideas on the subject.

    Good Luck.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_14.gifGo to a movie you consider romantic and check out his reaction.

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