Need some advice from the gay dudes;
How do you let someone know that your interested in them?
Here's a little back ground; I'm from Kentucky, not many gay scenes in the area I live in.
Probably wouldn't go even if there was, just not my thing. But I would love to meet someone. Everywhere I go, I'm looking at guys, wondering "is he straight or gay". Its crazy!! Unless there "flaming", I would never know, (and wouldn't be into that anyway) . I'm talking in circles. Basically, I'm straight acting looking for same, but how do I find that. As I said, this is Kentucky, you do not want to flirt with the wrong person here, that could be very dangerous!!
So what are some signs, and once I spot someone, how should I make a move?

You need to go to a persoanals site on the internet or in the newspaper. This would cut out a lot of problems for you. At least you will know what they are looking for straight away.

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Originally Posted by Xrayman

You need to go to a persoanals site on the internet or in the newspaper. This would cut out a lot of problems for you. at least you will know what they are looking for straight away.

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No pun intended here, I hope.

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Originally Posted by Xrayman

You need to go to a persoanals site on the internet or in the newspaper. This would cut out a lot of problems for you. at least you will know what they are looking for straight away.

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Your answer seems simple enough, but you never know who your meeting there. Most people are dishonest about there age, looks, etc... and then you have to wonder if that person is a homophobe psycho!! Or at least I do.

I would think that it would be EXTREMELY elaborate for a straight person to place a gay ad in the paper just to abuse or beat you.

I would spend a great deal of time on gay chat sites etc where you can send video to see the person online.

Cheers

Internet dating isn't sketchy like it was a few years ago. Although there is quite a bit of dishonesty, it is usually someone saying they weigh 170 instead of 185 (or equivalent in kilos). Go for the chat sites. Gay.com has a good personals search engine and elaborate profiles (and it's free!) There's also manhunt.net, craigslist.com, Yahoo personals, hotornot.com, myspace.com etc. We gays have turned almost any site where you communicate with others into a personals site!

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Originally Posted by ky37m

need some advice from the gay dudes;
how do you let someone know that your interested in them?
heres a little back ground; i'm from kentucky, not many gay scenes in the area i live in.
probably wouldnt go even if there was, just not my thing. but i would love to meet someone. everywhere i go, im looking at guys, wondering "is he straight or gay". its crazy!!! unless there "flaming", i would never know, (and wouldnt be into that anyway) . im talking in circles. basically, im straight acting looking for same, but how do i find that. as i said, this is kentucky, you do not want to flirt with the wrong person here, that could be very dangerous!!!
so what are some signs, and once i spot someone, how should i make a move?

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Just ask them are you gay or do you like the same sex, I'm from fla. And now I live in va.
I have a lot of gay friends, I just let them know up front that I'm not that way, but I will be your friend, just don't make a move on me. Cause I will knock the S@#$ out of you.

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Originally Posted by boop21197

just ask them are you gay or do you like the same sex, I'm from fla. and now I live in va.
I have alot of gay friends, I just let them know up front that I'm not that way, but I will be your friend, just don't make a move on me. cause I will knock the S@#$ out of you.

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This is exactly why he wouldn't just ask someone if they were gay. Many straight people don't understand that violence is a possible consequence of even asking someone's sexuality. Even in big cities, where queer communities flourish and are more accepted, you run the risk of being harassed/assaulted if you hit on a straight. I'd give you more negative feedback if I could!

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Originally Posted by Xrayman

I would think that it would be EXTREMELY elaborate for a straight person to place a gay ad in the paper just to abuse or beat you.

I would spend a great deal of time on gay chat sites etc where you can send video to see the person online.

cheers

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I wasn't suggesting that a straight would go to that much trouble to jack up a fag. Let me give an example.
Your in a department store and someone brushes by, he smiles and maybe looks at you for a few seconds. What should the next step (if any) be. Should I forget it ever happened, I mean after all, I could be reading way too much into it. Or should I try and start a conversation to learn more about him or maybe just smile back. Sorry, I'm terrible with this. Probably why I'm alone.

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Originally Posted by ky37m

need some advice from the gay dudes;
how do you let someone know that your interested in them?
heres a little back ground; i'm from kentucky, not many gay scenes in the area i live in.
probably wouldnt go even if there was, just not my thing. but i would love to meet someone. everywhere i go, im looking at guys, wondering "is he straight or gay". its crazy!!! unless there "flaming", i would never know, (and wouldnt be into that anyway) . im talking in circles. basically, im straight acting looking for same, but how do i find that. as i said, this is kentucky, you do not want to flirt with the wrong person here, that could be very dangerous!!!
so what are some signs, and once i spot someone, how should i make a move?

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Go to Nashville to clubs and met new people. You may not be giving vibes out enough for gay men to notice you. Or you can find me and if your lucky get a date with me.

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Originally Posted by johnfrost

Go to Nashville to clubs and met new people. you may not be giving vibes out enough for gay men to notice you. or you can find me and if your lucky get a date with me.

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So tell me john frost, your in the frozen food section of your grocery store, a guy walks by, smiles, kind of checks you out, maybe even does a double take as he walks past you.
If you thought he was cute and wanted to pursue it, how or what would you do?
There are no "gay scenes" within 50 miles of were I live, and to make things worse, I work a lot of hours, so sadly, I have to look for romance in ordinary places when I have the chance, and try to rely on my instincts... which are getting me no where:(

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Originally Posted by ky37m

i wasnt suggesting that a straight would go to that much trouble to jack up a fag. let me give an example.
your in a department store and someone brushes by, he smiles and maybe looks at you for a few seconds. what should the next step (if any) be. should i forget it ever happened, i mean afterall, i could be reading way to much into it. or should i try and start a conversation to learn more about him or maybe just smile back. sorry, im terrible with this. probably why im alone.

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You could look at him and raise your eyebrows or something similar to that. A simple smile wouldn't convey any romantic feelings because it could be taken as you just being polite.

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Originally Posted by ky37m

need some advice from the gay dudes;
how do you let someone know that your interested in them?
heres a little back ground; i'm from kentucky, not many gay scenes in the area i live in.
probably wouldnt go even if there was, just not my thing. but i would love to meet someone. everywhere i go, im looking at guys, wondering "is he straight or gay". its crazy!!! unless there "flaming", i would never know, (and wouldnt be into that anyway) . im talking in circles. basically, im straight acting looking for same, but how do i find that. as i said, this is kentucky, you do not want to flirt with the wrong person here, that could be very dangerous!!!
so what are some signs, and once i spot someone, how should i make a move?

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Though I'm not a gay male... I am a bi female... I did live in Louisville for about 8 yr. I think once you try the internet chat sites/personals... meet a few people (in public places)... you will be surprised how quickly you will find yourself in a gay circle. Sounds like you just need to get your foot in the door. I agree that there are times when you meet in public and are unsure... you may ask one of many questions... "are you a friend of Dorothy?"... "are you family"... try winking... begin to chat to get a feel for them... there are many ways. Once you get started I believe you will find yourself surprised at how quickly you move forward. Good luck. Cathy

As a gay woman myself I would just go drinking ina lesbian friendly pub or gay bar. Just because your gay don't mean you have to date differently date the straight way just date the same sex. No difference really. I mean how would you let a bloke know if you were straight smile, say hi, offer a drink? Do the same with a woman!!

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Originally Posted by americangayboy

You could look at him and raise your eyebrows or something similar to that. A simple smile wouldn't convey any romantic feelings because it could be taken as you just being polite.

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Thanks, ill give it a try...