Hi there, I'm 21years ol, married to the most incredible guy in this world, together we have two girls.
We have sex almost every night but I have never had an orgasm, even before I met my hubby I still have never experienced an orgasm. I was sleeping with an older guy when I was abit younger and he nearky made me orgasm until he came first then it was all over. I have asked my husband what we could do to make me orgasm but he has no clue either.

Would it be because I've had 2kids and not as tight as I use to be or is the technique?
I've tried pillows under my bum but that doesn't work...
Any ideas??

Cheers

Are you able to come to orgasm through oral or digital sex?

A lot of women have a hard time obtaining an orgasm through sex especially through the missionary position. Have you tried other positions?

We have tried other positions but nothing works. I have never had an orgasm

Are you relaxed during sex? Do you find yourself concentrating on having an orgasm? That can actually have the opposite effect?

You didn't answer about oral or digital sex.

*EDIT*

Are you familiar with your body? Do you masturbate?

He gives me oral but not for long enough, what's digital sex?
All I can think about while having sex is having an orgasm I try to relax but I always end up tenseing up for some reason

Yeah I play with my clitoris and do it till "i think im coming" but that's it

A lot of woman out there do not orgasm during intercourse. Penetration does not stimulate the clitoris (which is what causes orgasm).

You need to tell your husband to spend more time on oral sex. I have a feeling that through oral sex or manually stimulation of your clitoris (digital sex) you will most definitely have an orgasm. If your husband does not spend enough time on foreplay you also may not be as aroused as you need to be in order to have an orgasm. Explain to your husband that women are like an oven they take a while to heat up.

I also recommend exploring your body. If you do not know what can give you an orgasm how do you expect someone else to give you one?

Also relax. If you focus on having an orgasm its like you concentrate the sensation away. I used to do this and just think to myself "come on! orgasm already!" and just get too stressed out. Just relax and focus on the other things like feel close to your husband and how much you love him and how special it is to be with him.

You need to understand that many many women do not orgasm through intercourse alone. Digital = fingers.

Do you masturbate? If not, you should. You need to learn what makes you feel good so that you can teach your husband. Of course he won't know what feels good, he has a penis, not a vagina. We, as women, have to explore our bodies to find out what we like and dislike. We then have to show our partners what makes us feel good.

If you have not, you need to try clitoral stimulation. Most women who cannot orgasm vaginally need clitoral stimulation to climax.

And, dear, don't forget toys. LOL, they can be very helpful.

Man this website is awesome. Why didn't I discover this ages ago lol.
He only lasts like 5-10mins. I spose this could be some of the problem. How do I make him last longer enough to satisfy me?

I concur with the previous statements.

And, from a guy's perspective, you not only want to be relaxed but also be aware of what feels good and being able to feel secure enough to let go and let "it" happen.

If your partner doesn't attend to YOU, it's up to you to encourage patience and try things together, whatever it takes, to find the magic combination. Here, you are the tour guide. Explore.

I think you'll find it's worth pursuing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by happilymarried

how do i make him last longer enough to satisfy me?

---

Can we use the word "greedy"? That might not even be the word. He should make you the priority.

If you ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Your man should take pride in pleasuring you. He should understand how much better he'll feel once that happens. Take it slow.

I have honestly tried everything! Its so hard getting in the mood though. I'm only 21 I don't want to die before I experience an orgasm.

I don't even know where my g-spot is. I've read in magazines how to find it but no luck.
I really feel like an dumb idiot.

You're young. And have the desire. Be patient!

I think you're getting anxious in the wrong way.

Where are the kids when you try romance? Have you tried going away or trying roleplay?

Talk to your mom or close friends?

There is a great book out there called "Hot Sex: How To Do It" by Tracy Cox

It lays a lot of stuff out. The woman who wrote I believe is a sex therapist. It's a great book for couples and for those just starting to gain experience. It answers a lot of questions you have. It can be a great bonding experience for you and your husband. Its available on places like Amazon.com. I've given it to nearly all of my girlfriends. They all say it makes it easier to bring stuff up.

The kids are asleep in in there own rooms. I couldn't never talk to anyone else about this problem. Id give anything to go through this experience.

At this point I can almost tell a poster's age by thread subject.

That's GOOD NEWS for you...

Girls in the early 20's are still getting to know their bodies. You will find your way. It'll be fun!

Also, 5-10 minutes might be a bit.....quick...Not for all women, but for many. And intimacy requires foreplay!
He needs to learn to ENJOY all of sex...The nibbles, the teases and of course attention to you first.


Some basics:

1) Communicate in bed. Tell him or show him what you like when in bed.
2) Relax. Find a way to life and/or take your time
3) learn to stimulate the clitoris when having intercourse
4) try different positions and see what you find most pleasurable
5) Get the kids out of the house/or get out of the house to focus on the time to be with each other.
6) read other posts
7) few things are as fun to practice!

PS - the G-Spot can be reached with a finger that moves in and up (towards navel if on back) in a come hither motion.
Or male organ if in the right position...
It's kind of overhyped... don't worry about that at this point.

He's just getting himself off and not paying attention to you. 5 minutes is not going to do it or you. Just won't happen. It might take him 30 sec's, maybe a minute to get off.

Foreplay is generally the key for you. I do concur that most women don't orgasm with penetration. Oral sex usually works, but there is a big BUT. Look for a message via PM.

I've seen many different kinds of orgasms in women:

1) A simple vaginal contraction
2) A few vaginal contractions
3) An involuntary response of the whole body.
4) Waves of multiple contractions and more waves...

and the oddest:

aural sex. I was able to make my partner come by just saying " for me". I did this about 10x in a row until she told me to stop.

There are fetish behaviors that some may REQUIRE, but I won't go into them here.

Hello.

Your not alone so relax, it takes time and experience for you to learn your own body. After you know what you want and need you can teach him.

Take some time just for you. Lay back and relax, let your fingers do the walking. Find all the places you enjoy touching yourself. Now take some time at each place and see what happens. Your not trying for a climax your just relaxing and enjoying the feelings. Keep doing this until you find out how to make yourself so excited you think your going to explode. If you want to use toys go for it. DO NOT let your husband play or watch. THis is your own play time right now. If it takes weeks or months for you to find the right places that's Ok. There is no hurry just stay relaxed and only think of enjoying yourself.

Once you find out how to bring yourself to climax then you can teach him how to help you climax.

Dennis777

You know I used to be in the same boat. It was hard for me to tell my husband what I liked, because I didn't know. But after some self experimentation and some good communication and some practice... we got it right and WOW!! Don't concentrate on the prize so much. You will get there. Just enjoy the journey. You may not orgasm every time. Real bodies don't work like they are portrayed in the movies. It usually doesn't happen at the same time as the other person... when that happens... use plan B. Plan B can be whatever works for you. Maybe he recoops and you go at it again. It usually takes a lot longer for them to come the second time around... a perfect opportunity for you. :O)