Hi , well I've been writing about this a lot lately but me and my husband got married because I was pregnant but we loved each other dearly he is in the military well I went home for a week and I lost the baby he doesn't believe I was pregnant at all and since then our marriage has been awefull its like he is a total diff person we still live in the dorm rooms on base we have been for 7 months now and its horrible all his friends around and everything well I want to get this house that we found but I feel like he does not want to move in with me because he doesn't want to go through a lot of trouble if it doenst work out but if I keep pushing him he will do it I just don't know if I should I love him so much but I want him to believe me and trust me we have talked about this million times... and no his ex gfr came in the picture she keeps telling him she wants to be with him and that she love him and all that stuff and he says the same to her I wrote her and told her she needs to stop that she should be ashamed of her self trying to break up a marriage but I don't know what to do please someone help he acts sometimes like he hates me but other times he pretneds like nothing has ever happened I don't know what to do I don't think I could live without him and waking up to his face in the morning I love him so much

This is going to be very hard to read. For your own self esteem and dignity you have got to leave this man. Unfortunately he does not love you and being with him is making you so sad. He is not interested in making the marriage work and it does take 2 to make any marriage work. Get out now before you get clinically depressed and do something you regret. I know you can't see this now but there are many more men out there. Sometime in your future you will meet a man who will love you like you should be. It will be a difficult time at first but you have got to do it. Be Brave and you will come through this hell.

You cannot blame the ex for your husband allowing her to write him your mad at the wrong person. Stop killing yourself with the stressing, it's not your fault. Move by yourself and give him time to figure it out.you need to rebuild yourself esteem, love and take care of yourself.
If he chooses to leave allow him, he's doing you a favor. Thing's can change for the better in your marriage but you must give space to see what both of you want. Do not start another relationship unless you are divorced. Everyday wake and do thing's you like FOCUS on yourself please.

I can understand how your husband feels you were not pregnant. After all, that is what brought the marriage to the forefront in the first place. If you had not been pregnant, there are good chances you would not have gotten married. So now he feels you trapped him. But being pregnant is easy to prove you know. You would have your first pregnancy test, your doctor's verification and what happened to cause the miscarriage. That is all medically verfiable and so present that to him that way. If he refuses to believe the truth then he is really so not worth any more of your time. Can you provide the proof to him that you were pregnant and miscarried?

About the ex girlfriend - if he was not enouraging her, she would not be pursuing him. That is plain and simple. If he told her no, leave him alone and never contact him again, it would stop. If she did persist, he would be the one getting a restraining order on her. But he is not.

I do not mean to sound harsh but you really need to back out of this marriage, get out now before you get hurt any more than you are. Give him his freedom and he can go ahead with this other woman or whoever he wants. Love does not mean you stay with the one who does not love you. You have to love yourself enough to say that you deserve better treatment. You deserve someone who can love you without looking for someone else while being with you.

I strongly feel you need to get to some counseling. There are base counselors and there are counselors off base. You need to see someone whose practice is in relationships/marriage. Maybe that person can help you see where you are being self destructive. Because you are headed for some real problems if you do not take the time to take care of yourself.

So my husband told me I need to go home for right now before we signed a lease for our house so he could figure himself out what should I think about that? Is he maybe trying

Leave honey please love yourself, You can't force yourself on him or thing's will get even worse.

He told you to go home. Home as in your parent's place or someplace else he calls your home? I feel it is time you let go of this marriage. Leave, like he asks, and give yourself some time to think things through. Sometimes we see more clearly when we are apart. The best of all to you.

Well I bought my ticket home to czech republic for Tuesday I wonder what will happen but I have faced that if he doesn't change and comes back for me I'm OK to let him go thanks for all your support

I wish you luck.

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Originally Posted by babicakes

Hi , well iv been writing about this alot lately but me and my husband got married becuase i was pregnant but we loved each other dearly he is in the military well i went home for a week and i lost the baby he doesnt belive i was pregnant at all and since then our marriage has been awefull its like he is a total diff person we still live in the dorm rooms on base we have been for 7 months now and its horrible all his friends around and everything well i want to get this house that we found but i feel like he does not want to move in with me becuase he doesnt want to go through alot of trouble if it doenst work out but if i keep pushing him he will do it i just dont know if i should i love him so much but i want him to believe me and trust me we have talked about this million times... and no his ex gfr came in the picture she keeps telling him she wants to be with him and that she love him and all that stuff and he says the same to her i wrote her and told her she needs to stop that she should be ashamed of her self trying to break up a marriage but i dont know what to do please someone help he acts sometimes like he hates me but other times he pretneds like nothing has ever happened i dont know what to do i dont think i could live without him and waking up to his face in the morning i love him soo much

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Did you ever see that movie "LOVE STORY" when she said that if you love someone then let them go, if they come back then it was meant to be. Well this sounds like the case, I know it will be hard cause you love him so much, I know I would, but you're a person and you have feeling, what he is doing to you is abuse, and you don't deserve it,
I just know that if he is begin mean to you more than he is nice to you than something is wrong, and he is not man afford to tell you, instead he wants to treat you mean, maybe hoping that you will get tired of it and leave. If I were you I would just start doing my own thing, and see what happens, your married, if you divorce you get half of what is his. He will have to provide you with what you have been acusom too. As far as the way you have been living, since there is no house, you will get half of the bank account, or you could just really shock him, and change your whole self, with new makeup, new hair color and style, new clothes that show a little, going out with your friends, if you don't get a reaction out of this then he doesn't want you around, and doesn't REALLY love you.

I want to thank everyone here again for being so wonderful and helping me so he has been so nice to me in the last cpl of days but last night he got really drunk and called his ex girlfriend I walked up seeing he's using the phone asking him who it was he was sending me kisses and I was like tis lauren isn't it and he said yes I got so angry I left to see my friends I threw up I couldn't handle it I was so stressed later he was like why are you mad I was like why am I mad you know why don't even start than he was like I do it only to see if you care I was like no you do it because you don't care and then he kept telling me that I don't care and I don't know how to love or care about someone and that was the last straw I'm going home he doesn't deserve me and when he relizes and comes back and tries to get me back íts not going to happen he has to earn to love me now I haven't spoken to him or kissed him nothing all day

Whatever way this turns out. You have a lot of years ahead of you, when you are in a relationship please, please use birth control until you BOTH are ready for all the responsibility of raising a person to adulthood. . You need to make a plan for your life, and not just let whatever happens determine your future. Good Luck sweetie