:(You know I have a lot going for me. I have a great job, good friends, a man who loves me very much, and I'm trying to be happy with it all. I don't understand why I feel depressed most of the time. Yes I'm on medication. I have a thyroid problem, panic attacks, a most of the time I hate me. I eat so much food and I want to be skinny. I have been thin and I know how to do it but can't seem to get motivated to stick to a diet. I'll start and the first week is great and by the second week I start making excuses and then I start hiding what I'm eating. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I quit smoking about a year ago and gain 40 pounds when I was already over weight . I weigh 230 pounds and never thought I would be here. I act happy when I'm so miserable. Sometimes I want to take a lot of my medication and get really drunk and hope that I don't wake up. I sure this sounds like a pity party or oh me, but I can't seem to get out of that mode in my head. What am I to do?

I hear you. I have a friend who is 28, used to be thin but after she got married, she has become very fat. She tried all kinds of exercise but none of them worked.
I did some research for her, and I am sharing this with you.
Try to eat fat and lose Weight with Dr. Atkins' Diet.
Eliminate junk food. Some of the largest sources of fat in traditional diets are junk foods and convenience foods. On the Atkins diet, you may well end up eating less fat than you did before, even though you are eating a larger amount of meat, fish, fowl, eggs and butter.
Eat less. On a low-carbohydrate diet, you actually eat less than on a low-fat diet.
Read up on scientific studies. There is much scientific evidence to refute the claim that fat is the primary cause of heart disease, cancer and other chronic illnesses.
Avoid hydrogenated fats. Hydrogenation occurs when vegetable oil is changed from a liquid to a solid. This changes the chemical bonds so that the fat is no longer healthy to eat. Margarine is a common example of a hydrogenated fat.
Avoid heating vegetable oils to high temperatures. This can alter their bonds.
Control your blood sugar. The basic Atkins diet program has been very helpful in stabilizing the blood sugar of diabetics.
Make sure you try it!! Don't sit on the sofa complaining about being fat but not doing anything!
Good luck.:)

I was slightly chubby when I was 18ish, I did martial arts and drank a lot of water before each meal.
That def. helped me, but I wasn't fat at all, so it depends on how fat you are and how much you want to lose.
Dr.Atkins' Diet is really good, Google it, you will find more info.

You are making choices for yourself. You are the one who is in control of what you do as far as eating and exercising. No one else can make these choices for you.

I'm sorry to here about the depression and the panic attacks. I also suffer from those things too. I also used to be very overweight. I went from about 250 pounds down to my high school weight of 183 pounds in about a year-and-a-half time. It took a lot of discipline on my part, but I did it.

One thing that really helps me when I know that I am overdoing it with something is to tell myself, "Am I in control of this? Or, is it in control of me?"

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starbear agrees: It's good to hear that I'm not the only one out there who has had this problem

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Thank you for your comment! Please continue to post as I am sure that you will get more support and answers as you do so.

You're not alone in being overweight. Most Americans are overweight. It's hard to lose weight. It takes rigid self-discipline & resolve to lose weight. You just need to want to lose the weight more than you want to keep it. While it is hard to slim down, it is not impossible.