Ask Me Help Desk - Closure letter

I was thinking today about the first half of the relationship was very good and how much fun we had... I also remember during that point, she was the one getting me cards and writing me emails and things of that nature. I hardly wrote or gave her anything, and in that sense I think I messed up because I have things to remember her by but she doesn't have much from me to remember the good times. Thinking of these things it made me want to write her an email, maybe in a couple weeks, letting her know that even though we are done now that I will always love the times we had in the first half of the relationship and the person she was during that time. Also letting her know that its too bad we couldn't work out but that I hope she finds someone good that she can be happy with like she was with me at one time...

Not sure if this would be pointless or not, but I think it might help me in the long run in the sense that it would act as a closure letter. Basically that I accept we are done, I had fun, and good luck...

Is this a bad thing in breaking no contact (we're not really no contact since she texts me with her BS and I have to contact her every couple weeks for my money), should I wait longer, should I just not write it at all? I'm not doing it for her to want me back, its sort of an acceptance of the fact that we are done... I know her interest level when we broke up went really low and there was no turning back at that point, but I think it would end things on a good note.

Dude - you sound like a WUSS - woman don't want that from a guy. You'd sound like a girl. That won't create attraction.

How about an e-mail in a couple months with "Hi" - How's it going - say something FUNNY! Short e-mail.

Don't return her Text unless it's about money - seriously. You need to change as well.

Woman don't want mush from a guy.

Lol yeah I know I sound like a wuss and that's how I made her lose all that attraction that she had for me at first. It was incredible, 2 opposites of the spectrum before when loved me so much then now when she practically hates me...

Reason why I wanted to write the letter was cause I thought we ended on bad terms, i.e. fighting, her freaking on me for dating, then threatining me and stuff... just to say I had a good time, don't hate you, good luck. But I guess you're thinking that it would be pointless and only make me her dislike me more eh? Maybe its true, and I might just write it for myself and not send it

Don't do that letter. I know you want to - hell I used to want. "If only she knew how I felt"

You should NEVER say how you feel - SHOW IT!!

Hey - be cool right now, No contact, improve yourself.

She's been kind of weird to you lately. Like she is seeking attention - don't give it to her. She may come flying back if you ignore.

Yeah... I'd love to just totally do true no contact but its hard cause I have to arrange a time to pickup my stuff from her moms house and so got to talk to her... when I talk to her she'll sometimes say things that really piss me off, like 'thats why I don't have a bf' so her co workers hear her and it'll get me mad and I'll say the girl I date now doesn't stress me like you do, and she'll say well the guy that I'm talking to doesn't stress me like you do to try and let me know that she's dating someone now... and that gets me tempted to ask about it, but I hold back even though I want to know.

Yeah I don't think I'll send her that email, if anything it will just show that I care when she probably doesn't... and I don't want to give her that satisfaction. Once I can get my money/stuff back within the next couple weeks, I can do true no contact for AT LEAST a month or two, then say what's up after that.

Be positive and don't stup to her level. Be a great guy.

That's kind of weird the negative stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by neospice

I was thinking today about the first half of the relationship was very good and how much fun we had... I also remember during that point, she was the one getting me cards and writing me emails and things of that nature. I hardly wrote or gave her anything, and in that sense I think I messed up because I have things to remember her by but she doesn't have much from me to remember the good times. Thinking of these things it made me want to write her an email, maybe in a couple weeks, letting her know that even though we are done now that I will always love the times we had in the first half of the relationship and the person she was during that time. Also letting her know that its too bad we couldn't work out but that I hope she finds someone good that she can be happy with like she was with me at one time...

Not sure if this would be pointless or not, but I think it might help me in the long run in the sense that it would act as a closure letter. Basically that I accept we are done, I had fun, and good luck...

Is this a bad thing in breaking no contact (we're not really no contact since she texts me with her BS and I have to contact her every couple weeks for my money), should I wait longer, should I just not write it at all? I'm not doing it for her to want me back, its sort of an acceptance of the fact that we are done... I know her interest level when we broke up went really low and there was no turning back at that point, but i think it would end things on a good note.

Remember NO CONTACT AT ALL hurts the most

If you want to write a letter, there is a post here in this forum" letter to the ex" which is never sent to the exs but a way to vent your feelings.. go there and write what you want to write... great post meant for all those who need to move on... why send any letter in the past mode.. to your ex? That would only mean you've not moved on and show how you're unable to cope with the situation... quite a sad picture that it will pose to your girlfriend and she may then throw little weight around. I don't think you want that... right?