She asks for a break and then breaks up
Hi all.
I've been reading topics on this forum since a month now and I finally decided to post here and seek any kind of help or advice for I have greatly grew fond of it. My "story" might be a bit long and boring but I'd like to share it all to get the best help possible.
Due to it's length it will be divided in twp posts. Sorry for this.
I'm 25 and she's almost 22 now and we've been together for 5 years.
The relationship was really strong and nothing superficial. For almost everyday we spent hours together and it was never boring nor we did feel that we even lack anything. Everything was perfect for us both (disregarding the fights here and there, we never minded them) and we even planned to get engaged the very next year when she graduates.
5 months ago we've been having a lot of fights... I was way too stressed and had way too many problems to deal with and asked her to take it easy on me the during that period cause I'm unable to handle everything at once. She's a very jealous person and likes to nagg a lot and all that related stuff.. I never minded that at all, sometimes it bothers me, but still, I didn't mind it as long as she doesn't push it way too much. Ironically she did push things way too much during this period.. so I got real mad and decided to break up in a moment of rage.. I felt sorry for this and knew I was wrong, but I had to deal with my problems and fix things before talking back to her.. so after a month if complete silence from my part we talked and solved things and we got back together just like before. That was back in April.. then in May, the same thing happened again and it was because I showed up 2 mnts late after she got out of class cause I met 2 girls who used to be my classmates on my way to her... she made a scene and got way too jealous and started screaming and yelling at me in the hall as if I was a little kid who did something so wrong. I kept it cool and tried to cool her down and explaining to her that it's only 2 mnts, no big deal, I just had to say hi to these girls as its been 4 years since we met. She kept shouting and ended up saying "f**k off" and went away. Few seconds later she realised what she said and she came appologising to me and stuff... we always treated each other with respect and never talked to her this way or said this kind of words. I felt so humilated and just couldn't get it nor even understand what was the reason for all of this!
I had a serious thinking and couldn't see that I can stand all of this or the way she treats me.. but also I didn't want to break up.. I tried to explain to her how serious things are getting and how really I am going mad and that I'm still dealing with lots of family problems.. she wouldn't get it, so I had to stay mad for a whole month and not wanting to deal with anything related to her at that time.. she kept saying sorry and promised to take care of things from now and smooth her temper etc... so in June, we got back together after we sorted all these things out.. we both stayed loyal and we never had any cheating issues or anything and we both had the love burning so strong in us.
Few days later she tells me that there's this special training thing that is being done abroad starting in July and that it's really important for her to do it.. but she's not sure if she wants to apply cause its period is 1 month and the half and she didn't want to be away from me all this time. So I encouraged her to do it and that its for her own benefit and for her future and explained to her how much it would help her with her major. So I backed her up fully, even though deep down in me I was really sad, but I wanted the best for her. So I helped her with all the papers and even submitted them myself for her...
A week later she gets the reply and she gets admitted.. she was so happy and I was so happy for her, but also knew that I'm going to have a rough time misisng her during all this time especially that lately I've been missing her a lot because of those fights...
And here is how the story starts..
Her travel was on July the 4th... 2 weeks before that day, my friends were going to the beach, so invited us to go and told us that they will be leaving in 2 hours, so we have time to get things ready. She said that she won't go cause she has studies and she isn't so ready.. I didn't want to be pushy so it was fine with me.. I went with my friends.. an hour after that I called her to check on her and tell her how I miss her and wish she came along.. so when I asked her how the studying is going, she said that she;s on the net and she's not studying.. so I asked why and what is she doing on the net instead of studying.. so she started yelling and shouting and said that its none of my business and how can I go to the beach and leave her home etc... and she admits that she;s jealous and didn't want me to go with my friends cause she couldn't go all while keeping the high voice and the bad attitude.. and it's been only 2 weeks that we've been together and that she promised that she won't do this anymore.. I tried to cool things down but she won't listen.. so I told her that there is no way to keep going on like this, it's just getting worse!!
2 weeks goes by and no word.. she travels and says nothing... I kept hoping that she would contact me while she would be away.. but nothing.. 10 days went on her travel and nothing.. so I dropped her an e-mail and told her how much I miss her and even if she drives me nuts and act crazy, I still love her etc...
She called and we talked for hours.. she explained to me that she's really hurt from the last few months and the way I acted and walked away for all this time and she can't tolerate this etc.. So I promised her that I won't react this way anymore, it's just because I way too stressed etc.. So we got back together like before once again and everything was so smooth...
So she started telling me about how great that country is how great she feels and all the fun she;s having etc.. And she showed me the pics and that stuff.. so I was surprised during the days that alsmot in every picture there's the same guy standing next to her or having his hands on her shoulders etc.. Its like in every 10 pictures he's in 5 or 6 of them...
I felt real jealous and was really chocked to see all these pictures at the same time with no previous warning or anything.. so I acted crazy and started asking about this guy and if he had something going on etc.. She said no and explained that he's just another person doing the same training and he's only 18 years old. So I dropped the subject...
Few days later she tells me that she no longer speaks to him and that he did a nasty thing and she refused to tell me what it is.. so I did let it go and but I started having lots of doubts and wondering what the hell is going on there.. but I tried my best to keep it cool so she can have a good time there and not ruin it for her even though she knew how bad I feel and how I am having a hard time staying here waiting for her to come... but she didn't show that she cared much and I could feel it, which kind of boosted my doubts even more and wondered more about what's going on with her...
A week later we were talking on the phone.. and asked if that kid did try to do anything to upset her and she said no and that he appologised for her and she forgave him.. I didn't concentrate and went on with our conversation and told her how I mis her.. and she didn't say anything back.. so I was like "hello? I miss you?".. and suddenly she starts talking about how she no longer knows how she feels towards anymore and it's been since our last fight that she;s been feeling this way and she didn't tell me about it cause she thought it would go away with time.. but it didn't and she asked for a break! I couldn't get it.. I refused to let her have a break and explained to her that a break won't do us any good now especially that she;s having a break already since she;s away and having lots of fun,. so what's the problem? She never explained and kept on insisting that she needs a break with no contact.. so I had to respect her will and agreed even though I didn't want that and it kind of chocked me! This is the first time that she says something like that especially about her feelings toward me.. so we agreed that she would drop me e-mails to let me know how she;s doing every now and then and I promised that I won't even reply cause she doesn't want to know anything about me... she was kind of happy that I agreed on this and thanked me for understanding.. and said that when she gets back on August 20 we will talk about it all...
10 days go on and no word from her while she;s been there... and I started to get worried and even missed her so much more... and it was during this time that I came acrross this forum and started reading the topics and it made go nuts seeing the amount of girls asking for a break and cheating on their BFs. So it made me go more insane... I waited for a week after that.. and still nothing.. so I dropped her an e-mail asking how is she doing and that I miss her.. but no reply... and this is when things fall apprat for me and got into this depression and low self-esteem. I couldn't get what's going on and understand why she;s doing this and what's going on with her feelings and started having these feelings about maybe she;s dating a guy there... I had no choice but to wait as this was the advice of every person on this forum for all the others asking what to do in a break situation.. so I kept silent till she came back on the 20th (5 days ago)...
I called her and we met the next day...