Some time ago I posted about a co-worker who was a huge brown-noser and who undermined me to get my position and managed to do it successfully. I was demoted. Management bought into his ruse. Many of you gave me some good advice including that I needed to look for another job.

I have taken that advice and I have a company that is very interested in hireing me. That wilkl not be for another month or so. The deal is I work under contract and my contract is solid and binding I cannot leave for another month.

Since this whole mess took place. I have come in, done my job in the "demoted" position in a very profressional manner. I have maintained my character and not showed any indication of unhappiness at all. I also have a schedule change with the new shift and as such I am only there 2 days a week at the same time as this person.

I keep my distance while still maintaining professional conduct. If he says hello I say hello. There are times when we must work together and when that time arises I answer his questions if he asks me something and ask him what part of the project does he want me to cover, and I do it. I also purposely make a point of working at another computer station in our department area, away from where he is that is not close to him so as to not create any possibility that he can say I am interferring in his job duites.

Well he has my job you would think that is enough.. it is not. A month ago I went in to speak to my boss about a day I wanted off and some vacation dates... she immediately asked me if I asked him to replace me. I said I had not because I wanted to discuss my dates with her and I felt it was her place to deal with who would replace (as it always has been) not mine.

She began interrogating me starting with "Why don't you speak to Bxxx ?" I was so sursprised and said yes I do. "Do you answer his questions when he asks you questions"... "Do you have normal conversations with him"... on and on... I told her that I did answer his questions then said to her "why these questions did he come in and tell you that I don't talk to him"... Her response was "well do you?".. I could not believe this. She tells me it will be "his" decision if I get the day off because he would have to agree to work that day.

I was so angry that this guy acting like a kid in the schoolyard had done this. I left her office and told the head of my dept who confronted him and he said "yes he did do that because he needs to protect himself and that he wanted the boss to know that if they do not see him in our dept area he is somewhere else working on the days I am there. I was floored. She told him he had undermined me and he said that was not his intention.

Well granted I am not running up to him asking him about his weekend, wife, dog and kids.
I deal with him professionally and limit my conversation to work related topics when I need to talk to him. I stay very low key. But this was amazing.

Then this week I went to HR for somnething and the HR director says "oh I wasnted to see you". He asks me to make an appointment for next week to come up to his office. He says "Bxxx says there is an on-going problem with you and we need to discuss it.". I was stunned.

So now I am so angry I can't wait to leave this place but at the same time. I know I need to stand up for myself and defend myself about this accusations that management is buying into from this guy. I even think I may request a meeting with him there and HR so I can directly address his false accusations and I would question him in front of HR. I amalso thinking of bringing my union rep with me.


What a jerk. I believe his agenda is to have me fired. Also this means letters in my file that will go against me should anyone call to see about my background. They seem to already buy into his words and support him. Also every week the manager changes my "in-timethe 2 days that I am there with him up and down constantly. She purposely forces me to be there longer hours with him. This is clear.


The dept head has told me she sees my professionalism around him and granted we are not having laughs and social conversation but that she sees I act professionally and will back me on that.


I also know this guy was fired from his last job and treated another co-worker like this but he is making me look like the bad guy here. I have worked her 7 years with no issues at all until this.

Your feedback, suggestions, advice. Thanks

Well, it sounds like this person is trying to hurt and is hurting you. He has found that he can manipulate the people around to hurt you and is now using this to his advantage. I'm sorry to hear your tale because I read how upsetting it is for you.

A couple of things I wanted to mention that you might already know:
-You are under no obligation to share your feelings with people at work. As a matter of fact, since you are being targeted I would not talk about how I feel. No matter how upset you are, only talk about your feelings at home and with loved ones.

-The conversation with the boss was very inappropriate; she had no reason to question you like she did. You are under no obligation to have a friendship with someone at work and she was really trying to get you to tell her how betrayed and angry you really feel. Very inappropriate for her to do this - and your feelings are none of her business. It sounds like you handled it well however.

-If there is an "on-going problem" then I need to know what was done wrong, what day, what time, how many times did it happen, how is it supposed to be done correctly - and if this is an "on-going problem" then why have I not been told about this on the first day that I did it wrong, why has it been allowed to be an "on-going problem", who was responsible for making sure that I knew how it should be done. It is managements responsibility to inform their employees how a job should be done correctly. You have worked there for 7 years, now all of a sudden there is an "on-going problem". Give me a break.

By the way, the fact that you have been at the job for 7 years is an extreme plus on your side, because if you have held the same position it shows commitment to your job, stability, a lot of experience in what you do. I hope you have had the same position because then - bingo - you have more on your side than you realize, you have been doing the same job for 7 years. This gives you the ammunition you need to counter their claims of incompetent work.

And if you did move to another dept. with another position, it is still the same company, the same industry, so you have a lot of experience.

Be sure that if you have a meeting, stay calm, listen and take notes during the meeting, keep good eye contact. Disagree if that is what you know. Say, "I disagree with that. I have handled job A and job B and the distribution of C since I started this job. I was in charge of the purple plan since 2004. If I was expected to do job D, why was I never told of this until now?" If someone else saw your work, ask if they complained if it was not done correctly. If they did, who, when, what day, what time, what was said.

Make sure to remind these people of what you have done. At each accusation inject your positives, "Really? I know I have been assigned to do A, B, C, and I have handled these jobs with alot of focus, staying late to finish the projects, working with clients, etc., etc." Don't let them forget what you have done to help the company, your contribution.

Even the fact that you have been pushed out of your job and have handled it so well is another plus. "I know Brian is now doing A, and I have handled my new position with the same commitment I had in my previous job. My goal remains the same, to ......"

Remember, you as a person are not on the line here. It is a job. It is your performance that they are trying to attack. Make a list of what you do for your job - every single thing, phone calls, notetaking, filing, whatever it is. How were you trained? By whom? Go back to that training if they make accusations.

-Check with the Labor Commission in your State to see what an employer can and cannot say about an employee. The law may be on your side that the employer can only give your date of hire, your position title, your salary and the date you left.

If you have a union, I would meet with the union rep to see how they can help with this. What your boss is doing by changing your in time is against the law. Ask about this.

Trust me, I have come face to face with some people that I would rather not have met. What hurts is that someone would actually do something like this to you. It hurts badly and then there is the stress of it all. There are some people in this world that have major issues and they don't work them out like they should and end up doing stuff like this to other people.

My guess, this guy can sense some vulnerability in you for some reason, took aim and advantage, and now feels powerful. You are making the right choice to leave, because if he has been able to manipulate the people around then they are not worth their weight in water. He is trying to work out an emotional issue that happened to him at some time when he felt vulnerable. However, he is not really working it out. This was really nasty what he did in order to get your job.

Or could be that this guy is scared out of his wits of being fired again - so what does he do - he begins to pick on someone else and focus attention on them so that management doesn't see what he is doing. In this way, he is buying time because he is afraid that management will come after him since in reality - he really doesn't have what it takes to do that job. So he does major butt kissing and manipulation to save his own skin. This is only bound to backfire on him though, he is already showing his weakness by having to manipulate in order to be liked. You may have more to offer to the job than him - in ability, intelligence, etc. - and 7 years experience - and so he needs to make you look bad in order to get you out - so he may attack your personality, your integrity as a person.

Watch out for this - make sure they talk about the job - not about you as a person.

Stand firm in your belief that you have done an excellent job, your clarity of thought has helped you get through this, your devotion has maintained you clear of getting emotional at work, your energy will move you on to your next job. You are not in competition with anyone else, we all stand alone to be measured on our merits.

Here is an affirmation for you, "I now recognize that I am divinely guided in all that I do. I am safe, whole and complete. I have success, truth, power, acceptance, friendship and goodness. All is well. I am calm and at peace in the knowledge that everything works out in my favor. I am led to the right people at the right time. Everything I need comes to me and everything I need to know is revealed to me. I am released from any and all pain into the assurance that everything works out for me."

Write again and how you are doing. Take care.

Illusion
Thanks so much, you have given me some good points here. I have called the Union and a rep will go the meeting with me.

OK my meeting is with HR is Friday and I was told that BXXX has complained about "my working relationship with him" not my work. So Illusion I am keeping all your points close at hand.

Also I love your affirmation, I have passed it on to some friends also.

I am glad to know that you were able to use some of the ideas I gave you. I have been in some tough situations myself so I know how it can be. Just this morning I had to talk to my own boss about talking angry to me - and not even over something I did. I was calm and polite - but I held her accountable to the way she talked to me. Yeah, I'm learning too - and if there is a next time with my boss then the way I handle it will be even better. So there!

Great that you passed on the affirmation - I love them myself and have used them for every situation.

Take care and write back on how you are doing.

Too bad. You're thinking it's all about the work but it isn't. It's called 'The Workplace' but it's probably more apt to call it 'The People Place.'
I used to wonder why the brown-nosers got ahead when I just got dumped on and got more drudgery. I used to wonder, 'How come there ain't no justice?' and why people seemed to go out of their way to irritate me.

Turns out the base problem was me and false expectations.

Since you seem to be young enough to greatly benefit from it, I strongly suggest you read 'The 48 Laws of Power' by Robt. Green. $15 softcover at Barnes&Noble. It was on NY Times Best seller list for years. Great, and funny, handbook at how to deal with people that aren't following the Golden Rule and certainly not your rules.
For instance, you've already broken several of the rules, starting with #1 - 'Never Outshine the Master' and another 'Always Be Gracious' for starters.

Brown-nosers and the like get ahead as they are good with people and make management feel good. Apparently you could use some improvement in that area and its probably a good thing you have another job to move on to in the near future as you're a marked man in that position.

As you move up in any organization, the politics becomes more and more critical.

Buy the book, have a good read (it goes fast!) as it is based on Chinese War Lord strategems, English and French court politics, rules of Seduction. About anywhere where there is power and money to be gained. These are the real rules of life, not Sunday School rules. Fortunately the book is funny and well-written and is a great 'How-To' manual complete with a 'here's the rule and how to apply it' to 'here's what you do if you screwed up with the rule.' Great Stuff!

Good luck. Remember each job is its own learning laboratory and no one knows anything more about you than what you tell them so be discerning about what comes out of your pie hole.

Please to rate, iffen you please.

I’m in a similar situation as you have; the only difference is the bad is my direct reporting lead.

We both are new to the company and she started a week earlier than me, and we both are interviewed and hired by the same marketing director.
In the past two months, while we both try to adapt to this new workplace and make contribution to the company with some try-and-errors under her lead, she has managed to take all the credits and leave all the mistakes to me.

My wife gave birth to our first child right after the 2nd day I’ve joined the company, and she acted as if as a woman with a daughter, she exactly knows it’s very important to keep a balance life between life and work and thus adjusts workload for me. While I was thanking God for granting me such a considerate supervisor, what I was not aware is that the nightmare become.

Till Friday of two weeks ago, she told me that she has discussed with the marketing director regarding my recent performance, things need to be improved including “You don’t talk much in the meeting and you should express more about your own opinions”. It’s a false accusation because I knew immediately that she dislike my opinions made in the meeting and she might be thinking that my opinions would undermine her professionalism that one consider she should possess as a supervisor. What makes me so sure about this is because until that point I finally realized that why my opinions either made in the meeting or put down in the plans she requests have never been mentioned when she discuss relevant issues with me or requests me to revise the plan, even after I mentioned.

On next Monday, she told same things that she have told me earlier Friday to me again in the morning, because she said “the discussion held on last Friday was not formal enough thus the director wants me to do is again”. Then, later in the afternoon on the same day, she wrote me an email with even more false accusations, including “You wrote the email to the regional office without copy me and you have problem in communication with people….”. What I did is to ask the regional office to assist me in finding the Brand Guideline because we don’t have it in local office. Amazing?

Now I’ve decided to wrap this up today and quit. I know how to be a brown-noser, but I just don’t want to be that kind of person.

In time he will come to the end of a long rope. One method for shortening the rope; carry a small digital voice recorder at all times and make sure the batteries are fresh. This guy will go down like a hydrogen filled zeppelin struck by a bolt of white lightning and I'll smile with you and many others. You've got character and you stand above this crap. Good luck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by citylover

Some time ago I posted about a co-worker who was a huge brown-noser and who undermined me to get my postion and managed to do it succesfully. I was demoted. Managment bought into his ruse. Many of you gave me some good advice including that I needed to look for another job.

I have taken that advice and I have a company that is very interested in hireing me. That wilkl not be for another month or so. The deal is I work under contract and my contract is solid and binding I cannot leave for another month.

Since this whole mess took place. I have come in, done my job in the "demoted" postion in a very profressional manner. I have maintained my character and not showed any indication of unhappiness at all. I also have a schedule change with the new shift and as such I am only there 2 days a week at the same time as this person.

I keep my distance while still maintaining professional conduct. If he says hello I say hello. There are times when we must work together and when that time arises I answer his questions if he asks me something and ask him what part of the project does he want me to cover, and I do it. I also purposely make a point of working at another computer station in our department area, away from where he is that is not close to him so as to not create any possibility that he can say I am interferring in his job duites.

Well he has my job you would think that is enough..it is not. A month ago I went in to speak to my boss about a day I wanted off and some vacation dates ...she immediately asked me if I asked him to replace me. I said I had not becuase I wanted to discuss my dates with her and I felt it was her place to deal with who would replace (as it always has been) not mine.

She began interrogating me starting with "Why don't you speak to Bxxx ?" I was so sursprised and said yes I do. "Do you answer his questions when he asks you questions"..."Do you have normal conversations with him"...on and on...I told her that I did answer his questions then said to her "why these questions did he come in and tell you that I don't talk to him"...Her response was "well do you?" ..I could not belive this. She tells me it will be "his" decision if I get the day off because he would have to agree to work that day.

I was so angry that this guy acting like a kid in the schoolyard had done this. I left her office and told the head of my dept who confronted him and he said "yes he did do that because he needs to protect himself and that he wanted the boss to know that if they do not see him in our dept area he is somewhere else working on the days I am there. I was floored. She told him he had undermined me and he said that was not his intention.

Well granted I am not running up to him asking him about his weekend, wife, dog and kids.
I deal with him professionally and limit my conversation to work related topics when I need to talk to him. I stay very low key. But this was amazing.

Then this week I went to HR for somnething and the HR director says "oh I wasnted to see you". He asks me to make an appointment for next week to come up to his office. He says "Bxxx says there is an on-going problem with you and we need to discuss it.". I was stunned.

So now I am so angry I can't wait to leave this place but at the same time. I know I need to stand up for myself and defend myself about this accusations that management is buying into from this guy. I even think I may request a meeting with him there and HR so I can directly address his false accusations and I would question him in front of HR. I amalso thinking of bringing my union rep with me.


What a jerk. I believe his agenda is to have me fired. Also this means letters in my file that will go against me should anyone call to see about my background. They seem to already buy into his words and support him. Also every week the manager changes my "in-timethe 2 days that I am there with him up and down constantly. She purposely forces me to be there longer hours with him. This is clear.


The dept head has told me she sees my professionalism around him and granted we are not having laughs and social conversation but that she sees I act professionally and will back me on that.


I also know this guy was fired from his last job and treated another co-worker like this but he is making me look like the bad guy here. I have worked her 7 years with no issues at all until this.

Your feedback, suggestions, advice. Thanks

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Am so sorry for what you are going through... do not worry.. you are not alone I have gone through the same thing... Do not wait till they set up a meeting you ask for a one... and explain in calm & professional way that you have benn in this co for years never has an issues with anyone... and you had accepted the management decision when they demoted you otherwise you had resigned and that all what you care about is the company and you deal with him answer all his questions and that you can accept that you get demoted but ruining your image it's not acceptable... ask him directly to menion one incident that you were not cooperative with him... confront him... do not worry about anything because anyway you are leaving this co... but be calm while talking do nt show him that you care for his dirty games... this kind of people are shamless and they do not have the courage to face you they are excellent in stepping u at your back... the most important thing that you get your complains or things documented & protect your back, take backup of any document, receipts, stock reports anything you are working on and he might use it against you as am afraid when you are about to resign he might fake anything to hurt you or ruin your reputation.

GOOD LUCK...

Ms. Redrose