All right guys, I feel cheesy posting this but figured any input might help. I have been dating this girl for 2 years. To fill you in on the small details, she is younger than myself, I being grad student, her just starting her junior year in college.I have dated her since her second semester of college. All has gone pretty well up until recently where she said that she feels like something is missing in her life, not our relationship and that she still loves me, but feels like she should be doing something else(things underclassmen do). She tells me that she is still very much in love with me, but feels like she has to figure this out. I want to respect her, and grant her this wish, the only problem is I'm not sure how to proceed. Most girls say simply give her space, most guys tell me to move on, or cut all communications. I asked her to entail this space thing and she has a hard time deciding whether she wants all communications cut. I know the old cleche that if it was meant to be then it will work out, but sometimes it is hard to see the big picture. She also has told me if she wants to ever be serious about us, then she has to do this. I am no idiot , I know the odds are against me, and it seems like a simple request, but its hard to have a great relationship one minute and then flip it upside down to no communication at all. But any insight from male or female would be appreciated. Do I cut all comm, and let her realize. In all our time she has never felt the sting of not having me as a comfort. What to do what to do? :(
Thanks

YES! Please cut ALL communication for at least TWO full months. Nothing.

Space usually means you smothered the hell out of her. You annoy her now. I am sure you contacted her all day long. Calls, text, e-mail. Right?

See, woman need time to miss you. Over communicating kills this and all the mystery.

I am sure you were WAY to available to her:

As I always say: "People WANT what the can't have" - always. Being too available to her kills attraction.

I am sure you were too much of a 'nice guy' OR you would not be posting here.

Space can also mean she is seeing some one else - sorry - you need tough love here.

See LESS is more.

Go to this link from this site and read every thing:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=11765

Also - read every article on dating at www.askmen.com

Read EVERY article at www.lovetactics.com

Learn about 'nice guys' at www.relationships.blog-city.com

I know this sounds like a pathetic plee but its not the typical space situation, I don't mind giving her space... Im just confused on how to proceed. I obviously want to salvage the relationship but also realize, only time is going to either make or break this one.

I just told you - AND woma nwil ltell you anything - THEY LIE so the ydon't hurt your feelings. You have a lot to learn.

READ my post AGAIN!! Start learning about woman and WHY she left.

She doesn't feel attraction for you - you became a WUSSS!! She ewants a man - not a nice guy.

Until YOU CHANGE - she will NEVER come back. It's YOU!! Always.

Now read my post again - because you don't get it.

Hi,
Everyone needs their "space"... time to be alone, away from anyone or anything for awhile.
One thing you have to do, is to learn to be a "nice guy"! This means have respect for a lady, treat her with respect. Any relationship to work has to be at least 50-50, give and take.
Leave her alone, and let her decide what she wants to do.
Give her some time, maybe a month or so, then call her; ask how she is doing.
You can also tell her you miss her very much, then see how it goes from there. There is NOTHING you can say or do that will change her mind in the meantime.
Best of luck,
fredg

My ex did this to me nearly 3 months ago, I couldn't handle not knowing so we broke up a week after she wanted 'space'. Space is an excuse, they never get back with u, I did no contact for a couple of months and she is msging me once a week on msn now which I generally come up with an excuse for why I can't talk to her at the moment, like I'm having dinner or something. Just do NC with your girl for a while like wildcat said - make her miss you!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by johnno

my ex did this to me nearly 3 months ago, i couldnt handle not knowing so we broke up a week after she wanted 'space'. Space is an excuse, they never get back with u, i did no contact for a couple of months and she is msging me once a week on msn now which i generally come up with an excuse for why i can't talk to her at the moment, like im having dinner or something. Just do NC with ur girl for a while like wildcat said - make her miss you!

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Stay away, only way...

In the prime of a career oriet. Woman's life, it is very difficult to settle for a guy who may pose a potential threat to our destiny. Obviously, you are a great guy in her eyes, because she has requested space, versus giving the "it's not you, it's me" speech. I will take a bold stance and say, "You are marriage-minded", you are ready to settle down and build... if this is the case you must reassure beyond words in order for her to submit to a future with you, instead of focusing on the "what will I miss" syndrome. From your account, she feels a need to experience life beyond what she has formerly seen. If you are truly in to her that much, don't hold back... give her the opportunity to balance her perspectives, a solid future with you vs come what may. Somewhere along the way, security has not been established, which leads a woman to "exploration". If you are so in to her, you need to be solid and confident when you come to her. Women respond well to confidence, not arrogance. I am not eluding that you are arrogant; however, I will say that you are not completely confident... you give her that which you think she desires instead of giving her All that you are... there is a big difference. Free yourself, by doing so, you will know if she is truly the one you have need of. See her for what she is and not what you have projected her to be, this will solve the space issue. You are hesitant, why? Ask yourself, does she meet the need or will she do. Be honest. If you know that she is not the one, let her go; don't settle. However, if she is the one and you know it, not think it... don't hold back... let her know. What comes from the heart reaches the heart. Yet there is also the "right girl, wrong time" situation that must be considered. Reassure her in your confidence to take her beyond her present limitation. However, with all that has been said, it is so important that you do not deceive yourself, in what you want, and how this certain girl truly fits in that picture. Do not let this be an issue of pride, whereby you do not want to loose her simply because you do not want to be alone, or you do not want to experience rejection. Let this be a decision to maximize your life. This will require... not settling and knowing what you want. You should see yourself in her. When you see her, you should see yourself. If this is merely one of those vain relations, one that profits nothing beyond physical comforts... give her space... you have nothing to loose.

"you give her that which you think she desires instead of giving her All that you are"

That was AWESOME!!

YES!! Bingo - too many guys try to please and be agreeable. Be yourself!!

"You should see yourself in her. when you see her, you should see yourself. If this is merely one of those vain relations, one that profits nothing beyond physical comfort"

That was unbelivable!!

Shenda - great stuff.

He needs to SHOW what comes from the heart - IF he stats blabbing all this mush - she will RUN!

SHOW IT! Don't say!

But I do think she need space and he NEEDS to change - improve himself. YES - become confident.

What he does or says in life should NOT reflect on trying always please her - I am sure that's what he did in the past.