Ask Me Help Desk - MIL is husband's guardian, she's suing me for visitation and custody!

Hi,
This one's FULL of family dynamics but I'll just keep it as short as possible. I got legally separated from my husband in May 2005. In October 2005, when he got back from Iraq, he started exercising visitation rights with our son who was 18 months old at that time. Six months later in March 2006, my (ex?) husband got into a motorcycle accident and was/is brain damaged and physically disabled. It's August 2007 and he's still in a rehab facility in Ga. (I live in SC). His mother has his POA and is his legal guardian. After my ex got to a point where he was responsive, I started letting my MIL take my son to see his dad... mind you out of state, every other weekend starting on Thursdays and meeting her halfway on the trip back. I did this for 6 months with out a court order, on my own because I felt like my son should see his dad. This arrangement, I feel, is more than standard. My MIL has blocked me from talking to my ex or even calling one of the many hospitals he was in to see if he was OK or ask general questions. All questions must go through her. Now that my ex can have a semi-normal, albeit, slow conversation, she refuses to let me speak to him under any cicumstances. My son would go to GA to see his dad for 4-8 hours, in a hospital, and then go spend the night in their camper in a trailor park. When I started to make some changes, the MIL went nuts telling me she had just as many rights to my son as I did, since she had complete POA over my ex. Basically, all of his rights to our son default to her, since he can't exercise his rights, she claims. She then told me that she would be a part of my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I then refused to let my son leave with her because I felt the attachment she had to my son was a little weird.
I told her she could only take him on day visits all she had to do was ask me. She wouldn't let me brink my son to the hospital to see my ex because she doesn't want him to see me. I offered for anyone to bring him to see his dad, my mom, my grandfather anyone but she wouldn't respond. I still want my son to see his dad, I just want to limit the time he has with his grandmother, my MIL. The thing is, the divorce hearing isn't until November this year (I've waited a long time for the divorce because of all the back and forth and my ex getting hurt) so she's filing for an emergency hearing to ask the judge to make me hand over my son to her for more-than-standard visitation, as described above. My lawyer says the judge probably won't allow it, since I'm the mother of the child and the father is incapacitated. That's how I feel, too.. but I guess I just need reassurance and some advice... this has been going on so long now and I just feel kind of crazy from it all... :confused:

I think your lawyer is right. POA simply means that she can make legal decisions for her son and sign as his representative. Guardianship means she is responsible for making decisions as to his care. Neither of those give her ANY rights to your son other than what she has as his grandmother. Double check that with your attorney, but I think he will agree.

You need to check the rules on grandparent visitation for your area.

Now, with his POA, she can petition the court to allow visitation for him, but not for herself. A judge should make a decision about visitation with him depending on his medical condition. However, if she violates that visitation by using it for her own time, then you can bring that to the attention of the court and get the vistation modified. You may even be able to set things up so someone brings your son to and from the hospital.

I really think you have the upper hand here and the judge will side with you. But when she states that she has as many rights as her son does, because she has his POA, then she doesn't know the law.

Quote:

Originally Posted by barenakedbones

His mother has his POA and is his legal guardian... MIL went nuts telling me she had just as many rights to my son as I did, since she had complete POA over my ex. Basically, all of his rights to our son default to her, since he can't exercise his rights, she claims. She then told me that she would be a part of my life and there was nothing I could do about it.

She is his legal guardian but it does not mean she is entitled to visitation .The visitation is parental time and it is NOT POA time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by barenakedbones

I My lawyer says the judge probably won't allow it, since I'm the mother of the child and the father is incapacitated. That's how I feel, too..but I guess I just need reassurance and some advice ...this has been going on so long now and I just feel kind of crazy from it all...:confused:

I concur with your lawyer's opinion.