Ask Me Help Desk - My family doesn't like me

Apparently I don't act like how I'm supposed to, but I think I'm being treated like a 13 year old. My mom doesn't let me do anything. She used to say it was because she doesn't want me to end up like my sister, who used to be the bad kid. Now she's mellowed out and I'm "misbehaving." I'm 17 and she doesn't like me to ever leave with boys. She's trying to keep me a virgin forever. My sister has been my best friend for the last few years. I thought we were close and we could talk about anything, but I guess not. She thinks I need to be disciplined and that I need to stop trying to be like her and be my own person. She was always the favorite kid, how am I supposed to be my own person when everyone is putting me down.

Well, it may seem like everyone is putting you down, but I don't think that everyone is. I am also glad that your mom cares so much about you that she would want to look after your welfare so much. Not all moms are like that. Please be glad that she cares so much about you.

Being 17 is a tough time to be. So many choices to make about the future. So many "what if's" in your mind. Please give yourself time and please be patient. Time will pass. Will you? A big part of life is about making choices. I am sure that you will make correct ones if you stop and think and not be in such a rush that you will make rash decisions.

But, there does come a time when you do need to be doing things on your own and let go of the "strings" that parents have to tie you down. It can really be a challenge for parents to let go of their children and for the children to do the same. There can be much confusion in the process. It won't be all that long before you will face the prospect of living on your own. Please be patient and enjoy the time that you have with your parents now. These times will not last forever.

How old is your sister? If she is not that much older than you, then I would suggest that you need to realize that she has her own battles to fight with herself and with others as far as who she is and what she will do with the rest of her life as she tries to carve out a niche for herself. It's truly a "war zone" out there for any of us, as we try to make our way with our lives. Please give her some slack. She will be your friend again.

You really do need to find who you are. You do need to be your own person. It is very good to be emulating that which is good. But, in the end, what you emulate can become a part of who and what you are. Best to emulate those people who stand for good things that are helpful to all people and the world at large.

I would value your virginity if I were you. There are a lot of people who regret not saving themselves for just the right person. The first marriage ceremony that I played for, I was 14, he was 15 and she was 16. They have long since parted company with each other.

I realize that I am answering your question with going by a number of assumptions that I have about your situation. Please excuse me if I am totally incorrect. I just wanted to help. I know that I may have said some things that you might not have wanted to here. But, sometimes it is best to hear things from people who can see the forest and not just the trees because they have no real part in the situation.

Hopefully, others will come along and offer their suggestions and advice. Mine has just been one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Well, it may seem like everyone is putting you down, but I don't think that everyone is. I am also glad that your mom cares so much about you that she would want to look after your welfare so much. Not all moms are like that. Please be glad that she cares so much about you.

Being 17 is a tough time to be. So many choices to make about the future. So many "what if's" in your mind. Please give yourself time and please be patient. Time will pass. Will you? A big part of life is about making choices. I am sure that you will make correct ones if you stop and think and not be in such a rush that you will make rash decisions.

But, there does come a time when you do need to be doing things on your own and let go of the "strings" that parents have to tie you down. It can really be a challenge for parents to let go of their children and for the children to do the same. There can be much confusion in the process. It won't be all that long before you will face the prospect of living on your own. Please be patient and enjoy the time that you have with your parents now. These times will not last forever.

How old is your sister? If she is not that much older than you, then I would suggest that you need to realize that she has her own battles to fight with herself and with others as far as who she is and what she will do with the rest of her life as she tries to carve out a niche for herself. It's truly a "war zone" out there for any of us, as we try to make our way with our lives. Please give her some slack. She will be your friend again.

You really do need to find who you are. You do need to be your own person. It is very good to be emulating that which is good. But, in the end, what you emulate can become a part of who and what you are. Best to emulate those people who stand for good things that are helpful to all people and the world at large.

I would value your virginity if I were you. There are a lot of people who regret not saving themselves for just the right person. The first marriage ceremony that I played for, I was 14, he was 15 and she was 16. They have long since parted company with each other.

I realize that I am answering your question with going by a number of assumptions that I have about your situation. Please excuse me if I am totally incorrect. I just wanted to help. I know that I may have said some things that you might not have wanted to here. But, sometimes it is best to hear things from people who can see the forest and not just the trees because they have no real part in the situation.

Hopefully, others will come along and offer their suggestions and advice. Mine has just been one.

Your advice isn't horrible, but since you don't know the whole situation, it doesn't help much.

My sister is 19. It's not that she isn't my friend anymore, but she just doesn't tell me anything anymore. She only talks to me like she's my friend because we don't have any other ones.